Frog

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Posts by Frog

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  49

  My father will lose his privileges if he attends my sister's wedding

  by Goldminer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my sister is planning on getting married within the next few months.her jw husband committed adultery and left her when their son was 7 weeks old.after getting a scriptural divorce she began a friendship with a "worldly" man and now this friendship has grown to a soon-to-be marriage.

  this man studied with the jw's for a while but could see right through them found too many of their teachings didn't make sense so he stopped studying.he's made his stand with my sister and told her she can still attend meetings if she wants to.he's also a good worker and seems to really love the kids.he's not perfect but no worse than many jw husbands.

  anyways,the elders pulled my dad aside on tuesday night and told him he could(could????!@#*?

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  Frog

  This happened to one of my closest friends that I grew up with. She rang her parents to let them know last year that her boyfriend of 4 years had proposed and they were planning to get married the following year. She had been disfellowshipped at 20y/o and her family had kept in reasonable contact with her since then. Her father was extatic for her and congratulated her, her mother (a very humble jw woman) was of course not so pleased. During the week that followed the elders came to speak with the mother as they had heard of the news, to tell her that she was not permitted to attend her daughters wedding, as if she did she would likey face a judicial committee...the strange thing is they can never tell you for certain either way, until you've actually done the "wrong" thing....anyways, the mother rang the daughter 1 week later to tell her that she would not be able to attend the wedding. The mother hadn't even spoken to her witness husband about it before making the call. The father told the daughter that nothing would keep him away from his daughters wedding. The crazy thing is that her father has always been a little rebellious and seems to get away with these things they just say "that's Ron for ya". That cold hearted phonecall really broke my friends heart, and she has decided to put off the wedding until a future time.

  I suggest your sister tells your father exactly how she feels about this situation, tell him to stop acting like a scared child, and be a real father to her. If he can't be a real father for her, and be happy for her, then that's on his conscience. Tell him to stop blaming the elders for putting him in such a compromising permission, and take responsibility for himself. He chooses to be a jw afterall. grrrrrrrr, it makes me so mad. Bloody adults behaving like lost children, so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  My sister was disfellowshipped at the time of my eldest sisters wedding, she never stopped attending meetings, and returned within 8months...however at the time of the wedding she was allowed to attend the ceremony at the KH only, we were told to lie to all our extended family members and tell them that she turned terribly sick between the ceremony and the reception and therefore couldn't attend!! I want to vommit when I think of that now. The witnesses know that this shunning at such a special occassion isn't acceptable, and they know that reasonable loving people who aren't JW's would never comprehend how they could behave in such a way, so therefore they have to hide it from him. I suggest your sister exposes the truth about the "truth" to all her non-witness family and friends, afterall she had nothing to hide, it is her fathers faith that keeps him from attending her very important day (I'm assuming that your sisters is no longer as heavily involved??).

  All the best to her, she needs your support, she'll never forget that you were there for her. Let us know how it all goes:-)
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  7

  If WW1 had not occurred, would JW's exist today?

  by amused in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just pondering....what are your thoughts?

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  Frog

  I don't believe in hypotheticals, ww1 was always going to happen, therefore it did, and as a result its effects have reverberated across time ever since...one of the many millions of effects would be that in the process it gave the WT org what they feel is a solid basis for their doctrines.
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  45

  Prayers at mealtime!!?

  by Frog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  who still find it strange years on to dive straight into your mail meal without 'giving thanks'?

  i say main meal, because dad's prayers were always considerably lengthy before a main meal, and are an institution in every jw household.

  even now after a few years i'm just about ready to tuck in when i find myself saying a simple thanks under my breath.

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  Frog

  Who still find it strange years on to dive straight into your mail meal without 'giving thanks'? I say main meal, because dad's prayers were always considerably lengthy before a main meal, and are an institution in every jw household. Even now after a few years I'm just about ready to tuck in when I find myself saying a simple thanks under my breath. Perhaps it wouldn't be so strange if I still had belief in a god and creator, but I really don't! So I don't know to whom it is I am extending my thanks to, I cook for myself, I support myself, therefore I must be thanking myself?!? I guess I'm really just grateful for what I have, and the good life I have, as opposed to those who are not so fortunate... frog
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  19

  Anyone Experience Something Similar After Exiting

  by love2Bworldly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am starting to remember something weird when i left the jw's, but wonder if it's a physchological manifestation of the brainwashing & control they had over me and the guilt trip/fear of being 'bad'.

  i remember when i used to look up toward the sky sometimes and pray a silent prayer to jehovah.

  after i got disfellowshipped, i felt like when i looked up and thought about god that there was almost a physical ceiling on the other side of the blue sky that curtained me off from jehovah hearing my prayers.

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  Frog

  Yep, every time I remember this experience very clearly...an elder who was a family friend told me after I found out I was to be disfellowshipped that I should continue praying to Jehovah...I thought this was completely bizarro since I'd always been told that there would be a "cloud" between my prayres and Jehovah. I haven't thought about this for such a long time, now I just feel like vomitting to think that the WT org really wanted us to believe that our only way back to god is through them!! It's so twisted isn't it, I litteraly feel natious. I no longer have a belief in god, but I often find myself out of habbit saying an ultra quick prayre of thanks before mealtime, but then chuckle at myself wondering to whom am I actually expressing my thanks too?!?
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  63

  Did You Ever Think You'd No Longer Be A Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did you ever dream that you'd be posting here too?

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  Frog

  Vitty said "I was terrified of not being a witness. Some time ago at an assemble the DO said "next year 50 of you, wont be here" I was so scared cos I knew something was amiss but I still thought it was the truth"...I had a similar experience, it's amazing how tightly we will grip on to an outdated belief system because of fear and pain, we'll go to great extremes to denounce any new information as demonic and false...
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  33

  Have you conquered the indoctrination?

  by Frog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  something i?ve wanted to ask you all for a while.

  had you 100% denounced jw doctrine to yourself at the time of your leaving the org?

  i know many have said that specific issues prompted them to leave i.e., wt membership in the un, silent lambs/child molestation policy, malawi political party card issues, inconsistent changes in doctrine i.e., 1975/1914 generation not passing?new light begets old light begets new light etc.

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  Frog

  Ta, gmg...for me it's not so much a problem with my needing further convincing that JW doctrine isn't credible...but you're right a little reminder every now and again certainly might help:-)
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  33

  Have you conquered the indoctrination?

  by Frog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  something i?ve wanted to ask you all for a while.

  had you 100% denounced jw doctrine to yourself at the time of your leaving the org?

  i know many have said that specific issues prompted them to leave i.e., wt membership in the un, silent lambs/child molestation policy, malawi political party card issues, inconsistent changes in doctrine i.e., 1975/1914 generation not passing?new light begets old light begets new light etc.

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  Frog

  Thanks for your post Krystal:-))...it is nice to know there are comparable others that's for sure. You have my full sympathies over the passing of your grandfather, I can fully understand why you felt the need to grieve all over again. You're so young too, and so strong and brave, it will get easier for us I'm sure of it:-) I think you're leaving the org to be with the "worldly" man you loved, was an expression that you needed something more for yourself out of life. I mentioned my thoughts on a similar thread yesterday, but I think perhaps in the case of leaving the org for someone you love it is a sign that you must have opened your mind up to alternative forms of thought, in order to be able to open your heart up to someone who was not a JW. It is understandable that you would want to cushion the fall of leaving the org, therefore it makes sense to seek someone who will continue to love you when your family and friends all vanish. I had a similar experience when I was 17, but couldn't take the heat so went crawling back. All the best, and PM me anytime froglett
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  33

  Have you conquered the indoctrination?

  by Frog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  something i?ve wanted to ask you all for a while.

  had you 100% denounced jw doctrine to yourself at the time of your leaving the org?

  i know many have said that specific issues prompted them to leave i.e., wt membership in the un, silent lambs/child molestation policy, malawi political party card issues, inconsistent changes in doctrine i.e., 1975/1914 generation not passing?new light begets old light begets new light etc.

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  Frog

  Something I?ve wanted to ask you all for a while. Had you 100% denounced JW doctrine to yourself at the time of your leaving the org? I know many have said that specific issues prompted them to leave i.e., WT membership in the UN, Silent Lambs/child Molestation policy, Malawi political party card issues, Inconsistent changes in doctrine i.e., 1975/1914 generation not passing?new light begets old light begets new light etc. I suppose for most it?s possible that their trigger might have been an accumulation of inconsistencies over time. It is unlikely for those with strength of character that you would have continued to do time in the org after the scale had tipped against the favour of a life as a JW. So, at that time you?re still left with some remnants of a JW belief system until you make a life away from the org & overwrite them with newly rationalised beliefs.

  I should get to the point?when you?re raised as a dub from childhood, and are sheltered from the reality of the world, even if you are a reasonably intelligent person indoctrination can take hold. Even after you left the org, continuing to the present, are there some small things, which go against your rational mind, which brings back slight fear and anxiety? It?s almost a flight or fight response, you?ve not consciously reacted to say the ?News? in a particular way, but before you know it the old inputs in your brain have calculated out an old JW response. When you become aware of it, you quickly remind yourself about why you are absolutely adamant that you no longer believe that line of thought is credible for whatever reasons.

  The brain is after all a very complex machine in that it works on inputs to create an output, so with 20 years or more of JW inputs can you overwrite the old inputs with new inputs therefore change the outcome of the output? In my case, I was a reasonably devout witness for the first 22 years of my life, I am now 25. How many years away from the faith do you have to spend before the old inputs are completely overwritten by the new ones, will it take another 19years?? It bothers me that I have these occasional lapses.

  Thoughts & experiences pleasefroglett
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  61

  Name a annoying question that Minimus hasn't asked!

  by whyamihere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  lol!

  i love you min!.

  what was your favorite outfit to wear to the meetings?.

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  Frog

  I was considering starting a similar post! I thought perhaps Minimum gets royalties on the length of his thread, therefore has a vested interest in hitting all the right ex-dub buttons!...or perhaps he's paid by a marketing company to keep us interested & posting froglett
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  82

  Name Things You Can Get Counseled,Reproved or Disfellowshipped For

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since the jw religion is sooooo restrictive, it is good to think about just how wacky this cult is.....for example, you can get counseled for buying a 2 door car as opposed to a "pioneer" car (4 door).

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  Frog

  Izy cool quoted his ex-wife & said ""Don't bother me - go talk to my head. He's right over there."...that is brilliant! god if only I had of being so quitted witted in the day:-(