hambeak,
Talk to your doctor about how you feel about your therapy, and how you are emotionally effected by the conversations you have with your kids. Explain, if you haven't already, your history with him/her regarding the nature of being a jehovah's witness. Your doctor will know you more than a poster here on JWD, and will help you. Your therapy is number one on your list of things to do.
Along with that, know that people here at JWD have experienced similar things, and talking with us can help.
Most of us here, while under the influence of 'Brooklyn' control said and acted on things that were bizarre by common decency standards. However, we eventually reached a point where it had to stop. Your kids may someday reach that same point. You never know.
Stick around a while, and some day you may be surprised.
Take care.
steve