I was thinking of sending this letter as my da letter to the society and to the kingdom hall i welcome feedback on it.
To the Watchtower Society,
I am writing this letter to make a formal statement of disassociation. I began to study the bible in 1998 after having my first child. There was a lot that attracted me to the organization. Mainly the friends and the way they welcomed my daughter and me. The thought of eternal life on a paradise earth was nice too. I studied and understood all the beliefs of Jehovah?s Witnesses but never in my heart did it feel like I had the truth. I wanted to believe it was though because of all the religions I had ever looked into j.w. were organized and backed up their beliefs from the bible. I kept telling myself that one day I would feel it in my heart that I had the truth. I even pioneered for a point of time hoping to draw closer to god. 7 years later I am still trying to put god into my heart. Before becoming a j.w I had faith in Jesus, god, and heaven. I was a born again Christian and had faith though I did not obey commandments to the best of my ability. As every year goes by I find myself losing more faith and at this point in my life I am questioning if there is a god. I have prayed about this matter and I truly feel that it is best if I go back to my old beliefs because I don?t want to lose faith completely and I just don?t feel as though right now I have the truth. I love the friends and have had so many great experiences with them. I have been helped by people and have made dear friendships. I hate the thought of giving up my friends but giving up on god would be worse to me. I would appreciate it if my children and me were not called on and seeked out to help. I know what I am doing here and have actually waited a long time to do this. I have prayed and ponder over this decision for years and am very sure. I am going to go back out into the world to find god and if I find that I had the truth all along I know where to go. Thank you so much for your time and the many years of love.