When I was in the borg at my most entrenched, I was in the top cliques (it freaks me out completely now). I used to hear the most horrendous comments from supposedly ultra-spiritual elders and COs. The way they would make disparaging comments about those who were physically or mentally-disabled, poor, beauty-challenged, or older make me ill to this day. After that experience, it broke down the mystique of these larger-than-life figures on the stages at the conventions. All I saw was hypocrisy. The veil was lifted. I started to see how those who had the most money also had the most influence on local unwritten policies on moral issues. I no longer believed that the org was the the inspired channel of Jehovah because, despite the claims of some, corruption didn't "eventually come out." The corrupt elder went on to be the corrupt substitute CO who moved on to a permanent CO assignment. I remember sitting at assemblies with a disgusting taste in my mouth as I watched them march up to the podium knowing that they had conveniently gave the CO $2000 a couple months before the assignments for speakers came out.
HS