Posts by Pensive

25

A letter to a friend - Final one that I sent -

by AK - Jeff in

some time back i posted a first draft, and then a new draft of a letter to a friend that is still in the borg.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/94229/1.ashx .

i found the truth is not true, and that the organization is not what it seemed.

Pensive

Your words are beautifully strung together to make a powerful chord. It is impossible for your friend to remain unaffected by it.

I really thank God for you.

Your Sister in Christ.

Pensive

9

Pastor's Meeting

by NoMoreMeetings in

last week i had the opportunity to address 75 pastors about my experience.

as a third generation jw.

i had been an elder until walking away 3 years ago.

Pensive

Praise God!

A lot more needs to be done by true followers of Christ to reach out to those lost in cults such as the Jehovah's Witnesses. The ignorance of most Christians about JWs is astounding.

I'd like to encourage you as well as congratulate you.

Pensive

45

That Voice...My Story

by Confession in

why doesnt he just talk to me later?

i dont really talk about this much, but i just dont get it.

he seems confident that eventually ill understand him.

Firstly, I must compliment you on your fluent use of the English language, which you use effectively to keep me captivated with bated breath anticipating the next sentences. I couldn't read fast enough - and alas! It ended, leaving me wanting more.

Seondly, to congratulate you in your escape from the clutches of the Watchtower. I am confidently aware that this is no easy feat. Consider yourself, as with many others who visit this forum, a hero. You have made a great achievement.

My third point has a question attached. While I extend my full admiration to you, and do not doubt your intelligence, there is something that bugs me about people, like yourself, who were once active Jehovah's Witnesses. What is that thing which causes you to question, to dig beneath the surface? I have decided that it is not education or intelligence. My husband is a very educated man, with a good job in Accountancy and voraciously reads the financial pages of newpapers. I am yet to meet someone who can out-debate him. Yet, he is out on service every Saturday morning and rarely misses a meeting. He passionately defends the Jehovah's Witnesses at every opportunity, and gets upset at even the indication of a criticism. In short, he wears his 'Kingdom Badge' with pride never fearing to declare his allegiance to anyone who questions the reason behind his actions. In spite of my allusions to the Society's shaky arguments on blood, disfellowshipping, the 1914 theory and repeated failed predictions, he is still full steam ahead. So what is it? What does it take to get to where you have arrived?

Pensive

49

Attracted to a Jehovah Witness

by AJNG99 in

jw
friends

i am new to this board.

i am not sure where to post this, so i'll give this place a try.

don't ask how i stumbled across this board.

Pensive

You sound like me! I was once in your very situation and I took the wrong road. I married the man. I made a very messy bed and I am so lying in it. If only I could turn back the clock! Girl, please retain your sanity, and save time on regret. It is not worth it.

.

11

Caught in a Trap...

by Pensive in

i have not been a member of this forum long, but i am so glad to have stumbled upon it.

i have read a lot of your experiences and some have made me laugh, and some have made me cry, but for each and everyone i read, it spurs me on to put forward my own.

sorry if it is a bit long.

Pensive

I have been overwhelmed by the chorus of responses that all seem to sing the same melody: walk away and cut your losses. How I often dream of doing so! I am in the process of summoning up strength and will to be able to "pack my bags and be on my way". I am confident I can do far, far better than him - and feel boosted by your positive judgements of my character (Carmel and Dragonlady76). And just in response to Gill and AK - Jeff, I have familiarised myself with Raymond Franz' books amongst many others and have them hidden deep in a closet waiting for the day when Pete sees the light(!!) On occasions I make references to them in order to 'plant seeds of doubt'.....

11

Caught in a Trap...

by Pensive in

i have not been a member of this forum long, but i am so glad to have stumbled upon it.

i have read a lot of your experiences and some have made me laugh, and some have made me cry, but for each and everyone i read, it spurs me on to put forward my own.

sorry if it is a bit long.

Pensive

Hi All!

I have not been a member of this forum long, but I am so glad to have stumbled upon it. I have read a lot of your experiences and some have made me laugh, and some have made me cry, but for each and everyone I read, it spurs me on to put forward my own. Sorry if it is a bit long. Please be patient!

I'll start by telling you where I am at with this Jehovah Witnesses thing.

I was not - thank God - raised a Jehovah Witness but I was raised an Orthodox Christian (but they are a pretty messed up bunch as well). The Orthodox Church is heavily steped in tradition and my childhood was pretty miserable because I was inhibited b y traditions, customs and superficiality. My stepdad was and still is - an angry man and would beat up me and my brothers at the slight hint of bad behaviour. We feared him and absolutely hated going to church. I left home in london as soon as I could at aged seventeen, and went to 57 miles away to University in Oxford. This was the start of life for me. I did almost everything I could not while at home. I was so lacking in self confidence and self-esteem and craved acceptance I entered into a lifestyle of unprotected sex with different men of different ages at diiferent walks in life. My relationships were short-lived, wild , and often overlapped - before I ended them, I already started up new ones. Most of the guys I dated I never saw a future with, I was only attracted to their wallets, looks, or physique. To them I appeared intelligent, witty and outgoing while I knew deep inside I was an emotional wreck, and lonely. This lifestyle went on for about two yeas until I met someone I thought I loved and wanted to settle with him, only to then discover he was married with a child and was simply using me for sex. I paid him back by sleeping with most of his friends, but this gave me no satisfaction and I simply felt cheap and worthless. I was so burnt out by my experiences, I could not concentrate on my degree, so I dropped out but could not tell my mum until a year later. While I was deciding which way to turn in life, in the year 2001 and aged 22, I met someone online. In the first instance, nothing was unusual because I had met a few people online and nothing became of the friendships. His name was Pete and to all appearances, he was simply just a 'nice guy'. He was not even that good looking, (and I have a weakness for good looks), although he did have a 'butt' to die for! Obviously, we did meet up a few times and we spoke on the phone for hours at a time . He listened to me and although we were the same age, he was just so wise! I didn't know I was falling in love.

What seem to 'clinch' the deal for me, w as the fact that at no point during our dates did he once ever make a move on me. Sure, we kissed and we held hands, but he did not 'try it on'. I was so baffled by this behaviour that I began to wonder whether I had lost my touch - I mean, how could he resist my eyes, or my shapely legs, and did he never wonder what I looked like naked? I started to question. He told me that he was a Christian and did not want to displease God etc. etc. I was not turned off by his religious side and actually found his spirituality very endearing - so deep, profound and honest. I never met a Christian who actually practised what they preached and felt that maybe there is a God reaching out to me, his lost child, through this wonderful man. Three months after meeting me, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes. I followed him back to his home town to meet his family and we got married in a registry office in Summer of 2001 two days after my 22nd birthday.

Just before we got married everything seemed so perfect and normal up until he started to 'coach' me on things to say to his parents. You see, I never understood that I was marrying a 'JEHOVAH'S WITNESS' to me, I was just marrying a 'Christian'. I was not a church goer, I knew virtually nothing about the Bible, I mean I couldn't even tell you where to find the Lords Prayer. I believed in the Trinity, but this was because I was brought up to believe in it, but I never understood it. Just before I met Pete's parents, I remember being told to rehearse the answers to questions like 'how long have you been in the truth?' (I was to answer 'only a few months) 'Are you baptised'? (answer = "not yet, but I am studying"), 'Which congregation do you attend and how many publishers are there (can't remember the answer I was told to give here, but probably something like 'Oxford' and '150') there were other questions we prepared for, but for those we couldn't, Pete said he will help me along with a series of prompts, suggestions or may just answer for me. I slowly began to realise that this Jehovah Witness thing was not your average Christian group and were a pretty inclusive group with their own language and interpretations (please note that Pete's father was an elder and his whole life revolved around his beliefs). Anyway, we pulled off our plan quite well and left Pete's parents convinced I was a decent Witness girl and therefore suitable for his son. We returned to the UK as man and wife and very happy.

Then came the shock. I was married. And not only was I married, I was married to a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS. I had not taken the time to 'really' get to know him and I slowly began to dislike what he was about. He was completely chauvinistic and controlling. He started to force me to attend meetings, Memorials, Conventions and Assemblies. One year into our marriage, a Bible Study was arranged and soon Sandy and Chris were knocking on my door every Saturday afternoon with the 'Knowledge that Leads to Eternal Life' book at the ready. The study was orchestrated entirely by them without room for spontaneity. I enjoyed their company, but I quickly realised there were attempting to 'indoctrinate' me. I found the people of the Kingdon Hall very plastic and smiley faced. Everyone seemed to be a happy to be part of Jehovah's exclusive Kingdom and will bounce around the Kingdom Hall having polite conversations about Sister This and Brother That . When I first started to attend the meetings, I would be surrounded at the end of the meetings and invited to all sorts of events and dinners. everyone seemed to know my name and wanted to know everything about me. I was never really comfortable and never felt easy about the 'package' of being a Jehovah Witness, I dunno, something just wasn't right. I somehow sensed a falsehood amongst the people and their doctrines just didn't make sense and was force me to rethink all that I believed about being a Christian. How could so many 'Christians' be deceived and this small group have 'the truth'?? Then I began my research: I spent hours on the internet, I ordered books through Amazon.co.uk and spoke to Church leaders (I was very friendly with a pastor who lived nearby). Through all this searching and praying for God to reveal his truth to me, I then concluded THE TRUTH DOES NOT LIE WITH THE WATCHTOWER.

I have never ever doubted the existence of God, and if I am thankful for anything at all, I am thankful that through the Watchtower organisation, I have attained a deeper and truer understanding of Who and What He is and this experience has brought me closer to my Maker. I am a Christian (the born-again kind that every JW despises) but I do not attend any particular Church or belong to a specific group.

Where are WE at now? Well, we have come dangerously close to divorce more than twice and I have left the maritial home once for a period of 5 days. This was following physical abuse (him on me) and or long periods of silence where he would pretend I did not exist and basically shun me. This was normally over very petty and silly things which he would drag over days and simply won't brush over. He has serious anger control problems which he is still working on.

I am gonna wrap this up now, because, I am pushed for time. The deal is, Pete and I are still together. We still have problems and he is still a Witness. Sometimes I hate him, and sometimes I love him to bits. Right now, I am torn either way. I would see a future with him, but not the Watchtower involved. I can see it tearing us apart. I do not want to have a child for him because I am scared the Watchtower was screw up their brains. I sometimes wish there was a simple answer to this all.

Any advice would be appreciated

I will write more soon

**NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THEIR IDENTITIES**