Posts by Check_Your

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Hey all. Any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.

It is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing I can do untill I really understand the problem. I am currently reading Steven Hassan's, Releasing the Bonds. I encourage all who have loved ones in the watchtower cult to do the same.

Furthermore I would like to hear from you so we can discuss strategies and ideas for freeing the people we love from this terrible scourge.

"Give me a ping Vasili, one ping only please"

I hope to hear from you soon.

58

Does the WTS's past matter?

by M.J. in

i know, i'd jump into this topic by saying, "heck yeah.

they're the ones saying they've been appointed by god based on what they were doing back around 1914-1919.

" but i'm trying to help someone out who has reached a roadblock with his wife.

Check_Your_Premises

MJ,

Yes it does matter, and here is why. They claim that Jesus chose them in 1919. For that to happen, he would have to have picked them based on what they were teaching THEN. Also, for the "new light" verse to kick in, wouldn't he have to choose them first before they started getting all this new light?

I recommend a book for you called Captives of a Concept. It is by a guy named Don Cameron. He has a website by the same name. His arguments really do get to the heart of the question, "is this God's chosen organization?"

Of course the question of what your wife believes is much more complicated. I would recommend Steven Hassan's, "Releasing the Bonds". If you have that one already, I hope we, and other unbeleiving husbands can discuss this book further, and how to employ the strategies it outlines.

Regards.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

Losing a child is the worst thing, I think.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

Removed previous comment.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

At least then I could have kissed my grandparents goodbye before they died.

"you will know them by the fruit they bear"

Indeed.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

Hondo,

Yeah, my discussions with you really threw me for a loop yesterday. I had been told all along on the other thread, how she would change how she felt about me. But as I talked to more people I realized that there was definitely a component where the unbelieving mate is hurt and changes how they feel about the believing mate.

How do you live your life where someone is your first priority, but you are at best their second. One thing I have always told my kids is never be in a relationship where you are trying harder than the other person. How do you maintain any dignity when you are trying harder than the other person. How are you not hurt by that. How do you not have moments of weakness, get angry, and lose control as I did the night I asked my wife to at least put off her baptism... which only serves to push her further away.

It won't be just her who feels different about me, I am going to start feeling different about her. This has no happy ending. I am a Christian, so I don't believe I can divorce her. But I don't want to die alone. I guess I could claim she has engaged in a form of adultery, she clearly has stepped outside our marriage.

I am just going to try to understand as best I can. She has found a way to have a relationship with God that feels right for her. For the first time in her life she feels that she is doing everything the right way. Even if I presented her with an alternative, why would she take it. Even if I showed her proof, why would it matter. She doesn't want to lose, what she feels she has found.

I can't avoid putting her second, if she puts me second. I am not built that way. I am still a man! On the other hand I have to try to not take it personal, and try to encourage her to do the same. I can only offer to return that priority, no questions asked, should she ever choose to leave them. And I think the only way she will leave is if she has a bad experience. Fortunately they claim absolute power, and absolute power always corrupts. From the many bitter people here, it is clear that you can always count on the jws to treat people like garbage.

I hope your life is much happier from now on.

Semper Fi - you don't know how hard it is for me to confide in a ex-squid! :^) Take care brother!

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

Good stuff hamster, that is exactly what I am looking for.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

Well, sorry again SK. Just work your options, and lets save the tears for another time. We have our children to protect. Take care and keep your chin up!

I just said a prayer for you.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

That is so awful SK. I am so sorry. I wish they had some respect for the "unbelieving" mothers. Well at least the courts will show you some respect. I hope you get custody. Even if it is joint custody, you will have time alone to tell them it is ok to not believe what they say. Did you marry him before he became a jw? Did he join after you were married? Usually it is the woman who joins. Usually if the guy is in, it is because he married while da or df, and then he goes back?

So sorry. Clearly another example of family happiness, jw style.

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

Check_Your_Premises

I told her this morning before I left for work that I was sorry I lost my temper. I told her I was afraid to speak because I was afraid my temper would again get the best of me. But I did want her to understand why I was so upset. I think I have found a good description of what this is for a non-jw husband to have his wife join. I thought I would share it with you, in the hopes that it helps others in my situation understand their pain.
"I feel like you are leaving me to marry another man. I didn't have all the answers for you, and I never pretended I did. I know I don't so I never could pretend such a thing. I guess that is what you wanted, a man with all the answers. Sometimes it is best to act like you have all the answers because it makes everyone feel better that someone knows what is going on. So I think you feel you have found that. Well they don't have all the answers, they just say they do. No man does. Someday you will find out that they don't. "
"So will someone be giving you away?"

Hondo, this is what I posted on the previous thread titled, "how do I keep her from leaving me". It was what I told her in reference to her upcoming baptism. All I can say is that I know exactly how you feel. Your sentiments matched mine exactly. I can't stop her, I can't worry about that so much anymore. I will keep trying, but right now my primary concern is to make sure the kids are not indoctrinated as well, and we have an intact home. So actually you aren't raining on my parade. You are encouraging me that your children didn't join. Unfortunately I also concede, that If she is still apart of this when they graduate from highschool, I doubt there will be much left of us. But then it won't matter anymore, will it?

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises