I think I am going to write a response to your thread about writing a description.
Check_Your_Premises
JoinedPosts by Check_Your_Premises
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25
Describing the meetings
by slimboyfat inhas anyone ever written a thick description of a witness meeting?.
i think i am going to give it a go.
slim.
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When a jw has a major fall out within the congregation...
by Check_Your_Premises in.... how often does it lead to an eventual exit?.
i know some real nice, joined as adult jw's who have had a major fallout with their cong.. they are model, idealistic jw's.
but politics between these folks and an elder led to him being summarily stripped of his "privileges".
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Check_Your_Premises
The problems are not unique to a given congregation or a few "bad elders." The problems are systemic.
I think that is probably one of the biggest thresholds a jw can cross; when they realize that all these examples of bad behaviour are not anomolies but rather representative of fundamental flaws in the system of thought. The most critical flaw I think is to presume to much authority to some people to interfere and control the lives of other ADULTS.
It can be difficult for a parent living in the home with a child who they have known their whole lives to make proper decisions and judgements. How can an adult make such decisions for another adult in situations they really could only practically know very little about.
So back to this poor misguided couple. Any ideas, devious or otherwise (ala RR) that might help to worsen their plight (and therefore actually help them to gain some control over their lives).
I was just going to try to catch one of them alone and ask a few open ended questions. If they jump through, then I will know they are ready.
CYP
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16
When a jw has a major fall out within the congregation...
by Check_Your_Premises in.... how often does it lead to an eventual exit?.
i know some real nice, joined as adult jw's who have had a major fallout with their cong.. they are model, idealistic jw's.
but politics between these folks and an elder led to him being summarily stripped of his "privileges".
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Check_Your_Premises
I know most leave cults because they have a bad experience. I am sure many are to timid and brainwashed to allow it to free their mind, but many do.
I will look for opportunities to nudge them through the door of independant thought. Not so easy. I am a former "difficult study" on the verge of outright "opposing ubm" status... a suspicious character indeed.
Thanks for the thoughts.
CYP
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When a jw has a major fall out within the congregation...
by Check_Your_Premises in.... how often does it lead to an eventual exit?.
i know some real nice, joined as adult jw's who have had a major fallout with their cong.. they are model, idealistic jw's.
but politics between these folks and an elder led to him being summarily stripped of his "privileges".
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Check_Your_Premises
.... how often does it lead to an eventual exit?
I know some real nice, joined as adult jw's who have had a major fallout with their cong.
They are model, idealistic jw's. But politics between these folks and an elder led to him being summarily stripped of his "privileges". They are really upset, and they are concerned that others view them negatively since they all know he was stripped, but they don't know why. They feel a very large sense of injustice. (Boy you can always count on your local boe to act like creeps can't you?) They have been in about 10 to 15 years. They are both real smart folks.
I know, everybody is different, so it is just speculation. But in your professional, ex-jw opinions, how likely is it that one or both of these two will start asking all those dangerous questions? How likely is it that they will stay in the org?
CYP
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As long as their is new light, there is no false religion
by JH in.
if the jw's can receive new light, why can't the catholics or any other religion also receive new light, that would bring them a little bit closer to the truth.. so, if jw's can have new light, why do they call the other religions false?
aren't they also entitled to receive new light somewhere down the line and maybe become even closer to the truth than the jw's are.. as long as a religion can constantly recieve new light, so can others, which means there is no false religion, just religions changing slowly from one belief to another either very slowly, or a little faster..
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Check_Your_Premises
Really every stupid argument they use to defend their faith can be used by someone at the door to defend orthodox Christianity if they wanted to be dishonest or annoying.
"But the churches use pagan symbols and have false teachings!!!"
"They are only imperfect men"
"Wait on Jehovah to clean his organization, we don't abandon it"
"Where else can we go?"
"It sounds like you just want to attack God's organization. I shouldn't listen to you or read your material. You sound like an apostate!"
"My beliefs are just what the Bible says, if you go against them you are going against the Bible"
and of course "The Bible says the light gets brighter for the righteous one"
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Need marital advice
by lost_light06 ini need some serious advice.
i just found out my wife has been emailing some guy she met at her work.
she gave him her cell # and said she wanted to get together and connect.
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Check_Your_Premises
Again Anewme... I think it depends on the situation. In your situation, I think it would have been completely appropriate.
I have gone the jealous/possessive route (with a girlfriend) and I came off as this controlling, psycho, smothering, jag-off (which I was).
Once I wised up and made it clear that I didn't give a damn what she did, that is when I got all sorts of attempts by her at reconciliation.
If he is a good husband, and she still needs to play these kind of games to feel desireable and wanted then she really isn't worth the effort.
Well LL you have heard from a couple of schools of thought. I would say both have there points and merits. You need to decide which best applies to your situation.
Regardless of what you choose, Anewme is right, that little jag-off needs to have his face kicked in.
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Need marital advice
by lost_light06 ini need some serious advice.
i just found out my wife has been emailing some guy she met at her work.
she gave him her cell # and said she wanted to get together and connect.
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Check_Your_Premises
Lets hear from some other ladies! Lets hear their take on this situation. I say sometimes a man needs to take drastic action to show his wife he loves her and does not want to lose her.
I guess it depends on the situation then Anewme. If his wife is suffering from neglect, and that is why she is looking elsewhere, then your approach is probably the correct one.
If his wife is certain of his undying love, then it is likely she is looking around because she doesn't respect him. Given that she is in her 20's and hasn't dated alot, she is probably naive enough to be impressed and turned on by some "bad-boy".
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Need marital advice
by lost_light06 ini need some serious advice.
i just found out my wife has been emailing some guy she met at her work.
she gave him her cell # and said she wanted to get together and connect.
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Check_Your_Premises
Another thought LL,
How sure are you that she hasn't already been with this guy? Where there is smoke there is fire my friend. I would invoke the cock-roach rule here. For every cockroack you see there are a thousand you don't. For every phone call and email there are a buttload of other things you don't know about.
How well can you account for her time?
Sorry, I just got you all paranoid probably. I just don't want you wasting alot of time with denial.
CYP
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Need marital advice
by lost_light06 ini need some serious advice.
i just found out my wife has been emailing some guy she met at her work.
she gave him her cell # and said she wanted to get together and connect.
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Check_Your_Premises
We are both young, mid 20's. She was really upset with me 8 mo's ago when i told her I didn't believe the "truth" anymore. We have 2 young kids together and I truly love her so, Yes, saving my marriage is very important to me. WC, while I appreciate your advice and would do it if I knew she was cheating the fact is I don't know whats going on. She only first emailed this guy 2 days ago but she has twice asked to connect with him and I think she has called him or text messaged him.
Lost Light... tough spot. Especially having children with her. I can personally attest that there is NOTHING good about growing up in a broken home.
You need to really be honest here, and understand that this is a situation largely outside of your control. You have to be ready to face some hard truths and all that they imply. I know you want to save your marriage. Does your wife? If she doesn't, all your wanting won't mean a thing.
Does it really matter if she were fully intending to head out the door to bang some guy, and you stopped her right before she left. Ok, besides the practical matters of possible disease and pregnancy (which most judges will put you on the hook for since you are married to her!!!), it still doesn't really matter does it?
She is either already gone or she is not. One thing my father the divorce attorney told me is most divorces are one person wanting to leave and the other person who doesn't. The person who doesn't gets majorly screwed because they are still holding out for some hope of reconciliation, while the other person has already left and only looking out shrewdly for their own best interests.
I know you are in ALOT of pain right now. You need to look past that and really focus on the best interest of you and your children. Apparantly your wife isn't!
So the question is, "has she left". I think you need to confront her with what you know. If she is ONLY mad at you for snooping, I would say that is a good "she has left" sign. Watch out for the "we're just friends" bit. Guys just aren't friends with women. If she is remorseful and sorry then perhaps she has not left. You will still have alot to work through, and you will still have to watch her like a hawk, but at least you will have a starting point.
If she has left you can either end the marriage or not. This is a very difficult decision since you have children. I am always of the opinion that barring an openly abusive environment, it is always better to have children raised in an intact home. Would you consider an open marriage? A marriage in name only? It really is up to you. You obviously would have to protect yourself from her getting knocked up or diseased.
Hope things go ok. WC has one thing dead on, do not be a pussy! Your instincts might be to grovel and beg in the hopes that she will appreciate your deep desire to keep your marriage intact. In my experience nothing would make her lose respect for you faster, and lead to an deeper desire to leave you. Your persona no matter how you feel inside is that you could really give a damn what she does. The only reason you are even bothering to mention it is because of the practical considerations. If you are ready to walk, no worries, that will ironically make you more desireable in her eyes.
And if things don't work out, just remember it will get easier every day. Tomorrow will be easier than today. Next week will be easier than this week. Next year? This woman will become "who?". So try to cheer yourself up with the the fact that you won't have to put up with any of her crap anymore. And think about all the women you have wanted to chase, and all the new opportunities. Forget about her.
And just help your kids to heal from it all as best you can!
CYP
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HOW MANY ARE LEAVING?
by zev ini see lots of names here that i don't know, and with the wt on a campain to keep its followers from looking at "unaproved sites" .
i've got to wonder.....what are the stats?
how many are leaving ?
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Check_Your_Premises
Yeah, the Spanish speaking communities are probably the easiest pickin's.
I don't know how many times my wife tells me about some new "interested one" who quickly becomes disinterested.... you know there is a google search in there somewhere.
Wish I would have thought to do a google!
CYP