Posts by Check_Your

Butters, do what you must but don't get caught. Don't waste too much money on this either. Keep your $5 and your Hallmark card. The point was not to let them think a prankster put it there, the point was that they don't know who put it there, maybe it's decorations that the BOE approved of for Autumn. Maybe those pumpkins are just waiting to become pies. They are just pumkins, not demon symbols.

That would be funny, only add a video camera. It would be fun to watch all the discussion, confusion, and tittering that would come from them. After alot of discussion between the elderes they would remove them.

CYP

54

Vegetables on Front Porch Cause Uproar of Scandal and Intrigue for Local KH

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

apupi - illinois.

local jw, susan estrogen, recalls her horror when she first saw the large, orange vegetables on the porch.

"there i was between breaks while out on field service when i saw it!

Check_Your_Premises

APUPI - Illinois

Local JW, Susan Estrogen, recalls her horror when she first saw the large, orange vegetables on the porch. "There I was between breaks while out on field service when I saw it! I saw it way down the street, and the horror grew as I slowly approached the house of Sister Duffy. I just couldn't believe my eyes."

Five minutes later the entire congregation had been notified. A special meeting of the local body of elders was called while they were on break from their jobs at the carwash to assess the situation and decide just what must be done. "We knew that Sister Duffy had an unbelieving husband, so we weren't sure if he put them there or if she did." Elder Looksatporn shook his head in sad disbelief as he recounted the harrowing tale. "We decided it must be her husband who did it, which dissappointed us greatly. We like Sister Duffy's husband, although he does work far to hard at his job. He wasted all sorts of time in college and on his career. We hope there isn't a problem with his wife because we really like driving around in her vehicle for service. It has leather seats and a dvd player."

Fortunately, their worst fears were found to be unfounded. The entire body of elders called in late to work at the carwash. They waited in their car for Sister Duffy's husband to leave for work so they could go over and visit with her. There was a great deal of difficulty in figuring out how to best approach the door without getting to close to the demonized vegetables. The method decided upon was to hold up several copies of the Watchtower to shield themselves as they passed the horrific spectacle. After asking Sister Duffy several hundred questions regarding the offending autumnal legumes, it was determined that her husband had in fact placed the dastardly, decorative foodstuffs. To their relief she was also horrified and had been forced to jump out a window to leave for the meeting. She was relieved when they gave her permission to use the Watchtower-Bodyshield method when leaving the house. "Between those and the cast on her leg, she should be fine", said the PO Brother Ogleschildren.

Some in her cargroup were not so sure. Sister Thinkshesanelder shook her head sadly, "I just think I have to consider Sister Duffy a bad association now. Sure she can hold up Watchtowers when she walks by on crutches, but with those demonic, spherical offerings to pagan harvest gods so close, how can we be sure. Evil must be radiating through the very walls of the house!" Sisters Valiumhag and Xanax nodded their heads in somber agreement.

After several more hours of discussion while on afternoon break at the carwash, it was decided that nothing directly could be done to force Sister Duffy's husband to remove the despicable satanic gourds since he was not baptized. It was decided that everyone would continue to be extra nice and only talk about him behind his back. When they see him they are to say, "oh, I see you have your holiday decorations up". A special meeting was held to communicate the proper course of action to the congregation.

Although it was a dark day for the local KH, they were able to overcome with the help of Jehovah and the Watchtower. Sister Duffy also is overcoming the trauma. She is hoping the extra $100 in gas and additional 500 miles on his vehicle while out in service will help him to see her dedication to Jehovah. Only by setting this example can she hope to make him see the folly of placing decorative, themed food offerings to Satan. Her dream is that someday he will quit clinging to all these salient and irrefutable points regarding the flawed blood doctrine and simply submit to Jehovah's arrangement.

4

A pretty good article on the Yahweh Bin Yahweh cult

by Check_Your_Premises in

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/classics/yahweh_cult/.

they must be the truth, they use god's name!!!.

just kidding.

Check_Your_Premises

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/classics/yahweh_cult/

They must be the truth, they use God's name!!!

Just kidding.

This is a good case study on cults. Obviously all cults are not created equal. I have had my eye on these guys for a while. They have a show on local access cable every Sunday morning. The hosts are beyond creepy in terms of their mechanical, robotic delivery.

This shows that all cults are not created equal. The beliefs and practices of this group far exceeds the WT in terms of evil, controlling practices, and bizarre beliefs.

(On the other hand I don't think anyone can match the WT for body count as a result of their blood doctrine)

So even if you have been badly hurt by the WT, it could have been worse. You or your loved ones could have been in the Yahweh Bin Yahweh cult!

10

Service Year Comparison 2004/5 - 2005/6

by TheListener in

jw
friends

i apologize but i posted this on another thread and then decided it really deserved its own thread.

yes, i know that is only my opinion but what else have i to go on?.

thanks to a pm someone sent me we can now compare 10 months of the current service year to last year's service report.

Check_Your_Premises

has anyone done any comparisons of number publishers and number baptized side by side.

I figure the number baptized would lag the number of publishers by a year or so.

CYP

10

Service Year Comparison 2004/5 - 2005/6

by TheListener in

jw
friends

i apologize but i posted this on another thread and then decided it really deserved its own thread.

yes, i know that is only my opinion but what else have i to go on?.

thanks to a pm someone sent me we can now compare 10 months of the current service year to last year's service report.

Check_Your_Premises

by the same reckoning the number of pubs will increase by about 1%...

10

Service Year Comparison 2004/5 - 2005/6

by TheListener in

jw
friends

i apologize but i posted this on another thread and then decided it really deserved its own thread.

yes, i know that is only my opinion but what else have i to go on?.

thanks to a pm someone sent me we can now compare 10 months of the current service year to last year's service report.

Check_Your_Premises

Listener,

Sept 04 to June 05 shows 20,930 baptized.

Sept 05 to June 06 shows 20,265 baptized.

100% - (20265/20930)*100 = -3.18% growth in baptized

(did I do that right?)

CYP

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises