Posts by Check_Your

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Thanks Hondo. If someone had told us when we were 19, that we would be crying in our beer someday with a squid/sea-going-bell-hop, we never would have believed it.

I watched her get dunked with your words ringing in my head. One of them, who knew how I felt about it, had the audacity to ask me what I "thought about the whole thing". I was totally unprepared for the question. I just rolled my eyes and said, "I don't think it really matters (to anybody here) what I think about it". Clearly he had no idea how close he was to death.

Then another one said, "you know, you are going to have to make up your mind too, if you are puffed up with pride like a peacock, then you eventually end up a feather duster"

Classic jw humor. Those guys are really a riot. Again someone who was clearly oblivious to his brush with death. All it would have taken was for a few of my synapsis to fire at the wrong time, and he would have been twitching and pissing himself.

I just looked at him and said, "oh so that is how it works." My wife and all the other jws were horrified. They assured me that attitude isn't typical.

Right.

I have decided one thing I will absolutely not put up with, and that is people acting like I don't love God or something is wrong with me because I don't want to join their little club.

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

JGnat,

I think we just made the case for unbiased critical analysis in a free exchange of ideas free from human dogma.

"...but we only believe what the Bible says!!!"

Honest criticism is good, because it causes you to refine your thoughts. The jw's shouldn't fear it if they have the truth. They should embrace it. But they don't. They don't seem very confident, do they.

It is so unfortunate that so many struggled so hard and so long to escape men presuming to speak for God. Now here we are, free to think and worship as we choose. And people refuse to look at the history of where such human presumptions lead, and refuse to take advantage of the hard won freedoms we enjoy.

MDP

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Yeah, I know it is going to be very difficult. But I also don't think it does me any good to think it isn't going to happen. I have to think it will, or for sure, it won't. Dwelling on the difficulties does me know good. I know you just don't want me to think it will be easy, and therefore become easily discouraged. I survived MCRD, and one of the toughest engineering programs in the country... I can survive this. And I also take comfort in Hebrews 13:6, (or is it 6:13) "...what do I have to fear from any man"

They have been at this a lot longer than I have. That is true. The nice thing is, as you pointed out, is that we have so many expienced former witnesses to warn us.

So your wife doesn't trust you. That is a rapport issue, as Hassan pointed out. Have you tried to build rapport with her cult self? For me, I have no chance of freeing her mind, unless I offer an alternative. It is giving me an extra motivation to study the bible, and build my relationship with the Lord. I am trying harder to stay close with my children and wife. So, in a way, the witnesses are making be be a better Christian, a better husband, and a better father.

The Lord works in mysterious ways indeed.

Last night we had a very interesting but informal discussion about many verses. She read a few randomly, I asked her what they meant, and when she gave standard jw propaganda, I would say, "well I also see how it could be read this way..." She was not defensive at all. And it planted the seeds of critical thinking. She knows I have a genuine interest in the word and how it should be applied. It helped me to build rapport with her cult identity.

That is intersting to me that she was sure she would not go back, but then she did? Why did she leave? Why did she return? People mostly make their decisions on their desires, and then use logic to support the decision. What were the underlying desires? What logic did she use before, and after?

Take care, and stay healthy... it is your child's only chance at being able to think for him/her self!

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Yeah, I hear you, I am just no good at sneaking around.

I had my brother order it, I put it in the dustcover of a political book (just pinkie-to-corner-of-mouth eveeeel enough to keep her from opening it, but not apostate). I only read it on days she is at work, or when I am on my lunch break.

I go out of town tomorrow, and she goes out of town next week. I intend to have the book darn near memorized by the time she gets back.

She busted me buying "The Finished Mystery" on ebay. Not apostate, but it might as well be. That book is the spiritual food that Jesus thought was so proper and timely that He chose the JW to be in charge of his magazine publishing company... or something like that.

I have been trying to build trust and rapport ever since!

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Listener, have you read Hassan's book?

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

I haven't read Steven Hassan's book yet.

Um, jgnat.... I looked at a bunch of my old messages, and you were one of the people that told me to get this book.

You are obviously an apostate or an opposer ;^)

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Sully,

Thanks for the advice. That is probably the most concise summary of the best advice I have gotten so far.

Are you married to a jw? Have you read Hassan's book?

MDP

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Good stuff Just Curious.

Unfortunately my wife is not even open to the idea that this might not be Gods organization.

They all say, "where else can we go". I guess you could say that is not exactly a ringing endorsement from the rank and file. What it also shows is part of the mind control. They instill irrational fears, phobias, in the individual. This is the barrier that has to be overcome.

The book talks about how to do that. I also would like to find other u-spouses so we could talk about how to deal with all aspects of the mind control.

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

I'm going to make a confession: I haven't read Steven Hassan's book yet.

Well if you are really interested in getting your husband out, I recommend it. I have consulted this forum very studiously, but I have also made alot of mistakes as well. I don't think the book is perfect, it is frankly to general, but it is probably the best resource on the subject.

Some may even think that it isn't so bad for their spouse to be a jw. I disagree. I think we all have a right to think for ourselves, and we should be as free as possible from people who are manipulating us so they have control, and not ourselves.

Really I am just looking for a list of names, of people in my situatuion, and who feel the way I do about it.

27

Calling all "unbelieving mates", AKA husbands and wives of cult members

by Check_Your_Premises in

hey all.

any who have been reading my recent posts, know that they chronicle my unsuccesful attempts to prevent my wife's baptism.. it is unfortunate and clear to me that there is nothing i can do untill i really understand the problem.

i am currently reading steven hassan's, releasing the bonds.

Check_Your_Premises

Great idea with the closet thing. SOunds like it would work great on someone experiencing doubts. My wife is hardcore. The thing we all have to resist when trying to help someone is not to go for the "knock out".

Slow, steady, deliberate, and relentless does it every time.

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises