Check_Your_Premises

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Posts by Check_Your_Premises

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  10

  A question for former jw: Should renewed zealotry be feared?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was able to ring some pretty loud bells in the mind of a witness by asking difficult, thought provoking questions.

  the person obviously was troubled and was having a hard time rationalizing the items discussed.. now i see a renewed effort and zealotry.

  it is obviously the "pendulum" swing i hear so much about.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  The good news is that renewed zeal quickly loses steam.

  I hope you are right JGnat. I have learned, however, to never again underestimate the power of mind control.

  CYP
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  10

  A question for former jw: Should renewed zealotry be feared?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was able to ring some pretty loud bells in the mind of a witness by asking difficult, thought provoking questions.

  the person obviously was troubled and was having a hard time rationalizing the items discussed.. now i see a renewed effort and zealotry.

  it is obviously the "pendulum" swing i hear so much about.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Thanks all for your comments and grammar check. I try to use good grammar and correct spelling. I think it is important, but I also figure at some point, if people know what I meant, then who the hell cares. Glad to find out I used a real word. (all preceding bad grammar was intentional. I was testing you. )

  For the other comments; I appreciate them all. I do understand I am probably the best suited to make this call. I am however so grateful to have other perspectives and experiences to draw from.

  I suppose it is difficult to know. Many times two opposing problems will cause the same effect. Pushing to hard can look just like not pushing enough. So I guess if I push and I get more, then the answer is to pull back. If I pull back and I still get more, then the answer is to push.

  Yikes!

  I guess the key, as any good comedian will tell you, is timing.

  Thanks all!

  CYP
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  10

  A question for former jw: Should renewed zealotry be feared?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was able to ring some pretty loud bells in the mind of a witness by asking difficult, thought provoking questions.

  the person obviously was troubled and was having a hard time rationalizing the items discussed.. now i see a renewed effort and zealotry.

  it is obviously the "pendulum" swing i hear so much about.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  I was able to ring some pretty loud bells in the mind of a witness by asking difficult, thought provoking questions. The person obviously was troubled and was having a hard time rationalizing the items discussed.

  Now I see a renewed effort and zealotry. It is obviously the "pendulum" swing I hear so much about. How should I take this pendulum swing though? Is new zealotry sustainable? Should I fear it? What is the best way to react to the pendulum? Do I try to slow it down by continuing to ask thought provoking questions? Or should I get out of the way and wait for it to lose steam? Any ideas what sort of things I should look for?

  I know it is a difficult question since you all don't know the person or the situation. But give me your thoughts, I am sure they will be helpful regardless.

  Thanks so much!!!

  CYP
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  32

  I need some help/advice :-(

  by rr8483 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear friends,.

  i'm sorry for barging in like this, but i really need some advice.

  i am not jw, but my boyfriend is.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Hey Carla,

  If he is being secretive now is that a red flag?

  Just trying to clarify.

  I hate it when the post fails so I repost only to double post.

  CYP
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  32

  I need some help/advice :-(

  by rr8483 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear friends,.

  i'm sorry for barging in like this, but i really need some advice.

  i am not jw, but my boyfriend is.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Good stuff JGnat!

  Another thought is to try to determine his level of commitment to the idea that jw are one true religion.

  Ask him "...on a scale from 1 to 10, how sure are you that the jw are the one true religion?"

  Depending on his answer, you might next ask "Have you ever considered that it might not be the right one?".

  And maybe the most important one, "If it wasn't, would you want to know?"

  Or even "Have you ever looked at information that might suggest jw aren't the right religion?"

  "If I found some information that seemed to prove that they were not, would you want me to show it to you?"

  Here is a great one, "Have you ever talked to any former witnesses?" "Would you want to?"
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  27

  JW Husband and Apostate Wife

  by twinflame in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ah, where to start.

  i have been married for 30 years and was a jw with my husband for 20+.

  we raised 6 children in the borg; none of which, thankfully, stuck with it.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Sorry....I've been rambling

  No worries. I find some of the best things that come from my time here, are not in the things that people tell me, but in the things I come to realize by articulating my own experiences. Writing stuff out like this is a great way to clarify your thoughts.

  So keep rambling. We all understand.

  CYP
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  69

  "What will I do with all my suits?"

  by jgnat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there's a very exciting development in our little jw family.

  i've kept the news close to my chest, as i wouldn't want to jinx it.

  it's a great story full of drama, intrigue, a mild sunday school teacher, the internet, and a bunch freaked-out elders.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Any word from "Jack"?
• 
  32

  I need some help/advice :-(

  by rr8483 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear friends,.

  i'm sorry for barging in like this, but i really need some advice.

  i am not jw, but my boyfriend is.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Whether or not he is baptized is irrelevant. If he believes that the jw are GOd's one true religion, he is a jw.

  Now you need to be very careful of something. You are in danger of getting into a very difficult and painful situation. It is extremely common for a person to be raised a witness, they leave, hook up with someone, and then have a child. Having a child is a life changing experience. It causes you to want to be the person you always wanted to be but were to lazy. Now you want to do things right for your child. To someone who was or believes in the witnesses, that means going back to the KH.

  If you have a child with him, he will very likely go back. In that case you can either decide to be a witness or an unbelieving spouse. Neither is very fun. As a witness you become a slave to a publishing company. Your entire life, destiny, and mind are turned over to them. Your jw husband, who will expect complete authority in your home, will try to make this your child's fate regardless of what you decide. As an unbelieving wife, your husband will have another wife, the wt. He will have another life outside his one with you. In that world you will always be inadequate because you will not to submit to God's will. Keeping the house, and your very active sex life will be all the use he has for you. All other needs will be taken care of by the wt.

  Be very careful!!! Your life is in danger of taking a very tragic turn.

  It is possible for him to stop beleiving in the jw as God's organization. He might even swear to you that is the case. The big acheivement is if he has no fear of not being a jw. Unless he is at that point, he is still a jw. If you can't get him to that point, I would not advise continuing any type of relationship with him.

  Please be careful.

  CYP
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  11

  Legalism and JW's: Arguing putting faith in grace rather than jw works

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  many christians who have had to deal with a jw on any kind of regular basis will come around to discussions on how salvation is accepted.

  now the jw will say that salvation is through faith alone, but then they will insist that we must obey.

  furthermore they have a great deal of faith in their spiritual regimen to keep them on the straight and narrow.. this is how i explained it to one recently.. so often when we are trying to understand god's relationship with man, it is useful to consider the analogy of a father to his child.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  You are really bringing up some great points! I guess you are having a lot of the same conversations. I am starting to want to put them together in a comprehensive form. I really like your comparison of children and slaves!
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  27

  JW Husband and Apostate Wife

  by twinflame in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ah, where to start.

  i have been married for 30 years and was a jw with my husband for 20+.

  we raised 6 children in the borg; none of which, thankfully, stuck with it.

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  2. 
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  Check_Your_Premises

  Welcome aboard, and congratualtions on taking the blue pill. Great job on raising free children with free minds. What more could a parent hope for!

  I am an unbelieving mate of some accomplishments, although my wife is still in. You will find many friends here, and many who will give you great advice. Our most recent success story is Ithinkisee. He was a former bethelite who spent a year slowly building the groundwork for his wife's exit. Now they are planning their life together in a new location free from jw slavery. There are so many more. So have courage.

  The checklist.... usually a fine ubm named JGnat takes care of this. She will probably add to whatever I forget. I know alot of this is a little late since you left 7 years ago and are an open apostate. I would agree with another poster that you probably have some obligation to try to free your husband's mind. He wants to be free. There is just another personality superimposed on his that says all that other silly stuff.

  1. Never criticize the org. Your job is to ask questions, that lead to thoughts, that allow THEM to question the legitimacy of the org. Eventually you need to ask him questions that will help him to develop a new, non-cult perspective.

  2. All efforts to free his mind must be based in trust. He must trust you. He must have things that he can relate to you with spiritually. Without trust all other efforts are a waste of time. I know you are an open apostate. I know you have been through alot. But you are the bait. He can't pass up an opportunity to save you. By being less hostile, and actually curious, it will open the conversation that you need to have with him.

  3. Get Releasing the Bonds by Steven Hassan. It is a how to get your loved one out of a cult book. It would probably do you some good, since you were in as well. This is the book I and others are using to open our loved ones mind, and deal with all the phobias.

  I sense that you are at the end of your rope with your marriage? I can't tell you what to do there. I hope whatever you do, you won't have any regrets. I personally am not at a point where I could live with myself if I left my wife behind. That is the question that haunts us all I suppose.

  Hope some of that helps. Sorry if it is obvious, or stuff you already knew. Sorry for all you have been through. We are legion!

  CYP