stillaexjwelder - I must say your posts are the most distracting. Everytime I try to read one, all I can do is look at that fabulous set of cans on your avatar. Someone you know I hope?
Whoever she is... well just bless her heart!
Check_Your_Premises
JoinedPosts by Check_Your_Premises
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184
Who didn't get picked in any of the "most hot" lists?
by MsMcDucket in.
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i will tell you why i think that you didn't get picked later.
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Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
OH yeah, sorry if I sounded as if I was besmirching my beloved Corps?!
It was without a doubt one of the greatest and most formative experiences of my life. I wouldn't be a fraction of the man I am today were it not for those bastard drill instructors. God Bless the USMC!!!
I saw it as more of a funny parallel... you know like jw's with their service bags storming the heights of Mount Suribachi to destroy the apostate menace.
CYP
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Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
I take it you are talking about the USMC
Theocratic Jarheads...
That is funny to think about. I will noodle on that. Parallels between the JW and the USMC.
Regular Meetings Attendance - Daily Muster
Field Service - Recruiting duty
Book Study - Drill Instructor
Kingdom Hall - Barracks
Disfellowshipped - Dishonorable Discharge
All for now.. I have to get some work done!
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
You guys keep mentioning a vacation. Now that I think about it, she brought that up recently.
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
What she didn't mention is what her heart is divided toward that is opposing The Truth
Could you clarify what you meant here? I didn't follow you.
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
probe your own thoughts on whether or not you had ever felt like not being "active" in that group anymore
I take it you are talking about the USMC?
That is really interesting. I never thought of that. They didn't shun me when I left...
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
I don't know that this is any great breakthrough in her exit... rather it is at best a moment of clarity and willingness to admit that she is not happy. The challenge is to get her to deal with that fact, instead of running back to get her fix, only to put off the inevitable repeat of this conversation.
Her faith lies in the ritual to provide her with discipline and structure. Her bouts of exhaustion with the jw regimen always coincide with bouts of self loathing and re-activation of her bulimic behavior. When she is doing everything right "spiritually", that is when she feels good. She is in control. She is on top of things. She is working out, eating right, keeping the house orderly, going out in service. It all goes together.
The reality is my wife's problem is not that she is a jw. Her problem is that she is psychologically unbalanced... she has unresolved issues and experiences. She has experiences that she has not put in proper perspective. She has experiences that she has not rationalized. She has behavior resulting from those experiences that she has not recognized and understood, and therefore cannot control.
My problem is she has no desire to deal with those things. She isn't comfortable digging around upstairs. She sees such things as weaknesses. She only wants to make the symptoms go away. She only wants to feel in control. She doesn't want to deal with the ultimate causes of her problems. That has always been, and remains my challenge.
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
If you take this opportunity then be gentle, don't dive in though if i heard my mum say that i'd be tempted to. Listen as much as you speak and show yourself to care about individual as much as them not being witness, that way your not views as a bitter person but genuine and that can only be good right?
Yeah, when she said that to me, I really felt the pressure. I saw that such an admission would allow for a coup de grace for the masterful amatuer exit counselor. ON the other hand, I also recognized that any ham-handed attempt to force this opening to a sudden and ill-timed acceptance of the falsehood of TFDS doctrine would result in a total destruction of trust.
Mostly I tried to listen, and my questions were mostly diagnostic. I broached the subject of believing if it is the truth, mostly to sense her openess to that idea. I don't think she is open to it. We weren't able to finish the discussion because it was time for her to go the meeting. I was extra attentive in helping her to get ready. I also re-iterated that although I have practical objections to the behavior that results from her religion, I ultimately want her to do what she thinks is right, and will always support that. I reiterated that I would never want her to leave if she thought it was the truth, and I would always support her in that.
I think what I need to do now, is take the conversation outside of religion. This isn't really ultimately about the religion. The religion is simply an attempt to acquire control and happiness that has thus far eluded her. I doubt she will want to continue the conversation, since she went to her meeting and got her fix. Nevertheless, I will remind her that this is a conversation we have had before, and we will have again. Maybe that will open her up a bit. WHat made this conversation unique from past ones is that she admitted she felt like chucking it, and she wasn't happy. Those things have never been admitted.
Thanks all for your input. And any additional insights or advice on how to take advantage of this opportunity to help her regain some control over her life would be greatly appreciated.
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
diehard lifer would never admit that to an ex-jw.
Just for the record Tet, I have never been a jw. As far as I ever got was to be impressed with their dedication to their faith, and to consider that it might be remotely possible, no matter how ridiculous it sounded, that they might be God's organization.
Other than that, thanks for the input.
CYP
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34
Ok, so how big of a deal is it when a jw tells you this:
by Check_Your_Premises in"i just don't feel like being a witness anymore".
naturally i was intrigued.. she assured me she still believes it is the truth.
she just isn't happy.
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Check_Your_Premises
it's just that they're tired and looking for support to keep going in the religion
Yeah, I think you are probably right. On the other hand, if it were carefully, and skillfully manipulated I figure it could be something cultivated into doubt.
CYP