BugEye

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Posts by BugEye

• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The
  first boy said, ''My dad can blow smoke rings.'' The second boy said,
  ''My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose.'' The third boy said,
  ''Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt.'' The first and
  second boys where amazed. The second boy said, ''Have you seen him
  do it?'' ''No,'' said the third boy, ''but I've seen the tobacco stains on his
  underwear.''
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  A woman went camping and while she was out she got herself infested
  with fleas... While the fleas were on her they decided they were going
  to explore. The head flea said, 'alright if we're ever going to get
  anywhere we've got to split-up.' So the first flea said, 'I'll go explore
  the peaks up north.' The second one said, 'I'll go explore the other
  cave around back.' The head flea said, 'I should stay back at base camp
  in the bush.' The first flea got to the mountains and there was an
  earthquake, so he headed back to camp. The same thing happened to
  the second flea. They arrived back at camp at the same time. The head
  flea was nowhwere to be found. They finally found him, huddled in the
  corner with a shotgun, shivering with fear. When the other fleas asked
  what happened he said, 'I not sure but some big bald guy just came in,
  slammed me up against the wall and threw up all over the place!'
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  A young priest was visting a convent. One day he was taking shower,
  when he realized that he didn't have any soap. He wrapped a towel
  around himself and ran to his room, hoping no one saw him. He got to
  his room, grabbed the soap and was running back to his shower. On his
  way, his towel came off, but he heard two nuns coming down the
  hallway. He was forced to leave the towel, and stand like a statue.
  When the nuns came to him, one said, ''Look! A new soap dispenser!''
  Another said, ''How you get the soap?'' So one pulled on his dick, and a
  bar of soap fell from his hand. ''Look! I got a bar of soap!'' said the
  nun. The second nun pulled on his dick.

  ''Look! I got liquid soap!''
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  A man walking his son in the park one day came upon two dogs
  humpin' The son turns to his dad and asks, “Dad what are those dogs
  doing?” The dad says, “Son I'm about to teach you a very important
  thing about life, what them dogs are doing is…”
  The father can't do it. He thinks of all the questions his son will have.
  He tries again, “Son them two dogs are…” He stops again and decides
  to wait until the boy is older.
  “Son, you see that dog on top, well his two front paws are hurt and
  that dog on the bottom is helping him home.” The son turns to his
  father and says, “You're right dad, that is a very important thing in life
  to learn.” The dad asks, “Do you know why that is, son?”
  The son replies, “Because every time you try to help someone out you
  always get screwed.”
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?
  Kermit's undivided attention.
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the
  neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy
  panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he
  takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath,
  blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the
  neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes. A few
  days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, 'Did you hear that
  Fluffy died?' The guy stammers and says, 'Um...no...um...what
  happened?'. The neighbor replies, 'We just found him dead in his cage
  one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went
  outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back
  into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!'
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  A tourist has been visiting Cuba for a week. He is leaving the next day
  and he still hasn't tried the food.

  He goes to a restaurant and sits down to order and then sees what the
  man next to him has. It looks very tasty.

  The waiter comes to take his order and the tourist tells him he wants
  what the other man beside him is having. The waiter says there is no
  more left.

  The tourist then asks him what the meal is and the waiter replies that
  it is the testicles from the bull that lost the bullfight earlier that
  morning. He tells the tourist that if he comes back tomorrow he'll save
  this meal for him.

  The tourist thinks, “What the heck, it'll be my last day here,” so he
  comes back the next day and the waiter has his food prepared for him
  when he comes.

  The man eats the meal and thinks it is delicious. But he is confused
  about one thing. He calls the waiter over and asks him why his meal
  looked smaller than the meal the other man had the day before.

  The waiter replies, “Oh, sorry sir, sometimes the bull wins.”
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  Jeremy and Kris are walking down the street and see a dog licking
  himself. Jeremy says, 'Man, I wish I could do that!' Kris replied, 'I
  think you'd have to pet him first.'
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.