i am a long time lurker who has come out of the closet.
i have read many fine posts here and feel for all of you who have been hurt by the witnesses.
they are a lying, unaccountable organization - with an emphasis on the word unaccountable!
I was never a good witness and was always on the fringes because I work full time and because of being outspoken
I too found that not to be a good combination when one is a Jehovah's Witness. You needed to add the fact that you are an outspoken woman who works full time to really sum it up Join the club! It's so liberating to be free to be who you are.
Welcome to the world... We are glad to have you here. I love this board and I have only started posting recently. Good peoples here.
my ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
Patients, on an almost geologic time scale, and an eye for oportunity, are what will serve you best
Very well put!
my ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
Girlfriend! You have responded to my posts as well and we are in such similar circumstances. I am so sorry you have to deal with an asshole of an ex also! Much of what you are going through I have also experienced with my ex and I always feel so bad for my kids when things get heated or ugly. I feel bad for them too when their dads don't see how the things they do affect our kids.
When I get him back from a visit with his dad he's full of anger and he has taken to screaming & hitting when he has to do something he doesn't want to do.
The above statements definitely tell me that you are right in your assumption that your son is not comfortable expressing his feelings and true emotions with his dad. He is comfortable doing so with you because he knows you will love him no matter what. That's a good thing. I know transition times are hard. They have gotten easier over the years with my kids. When they come back now it's pretty much life as usual but it used to be high drama! The confrontations are fewer and things have gotten somewhat better. Definitely not perfect though!
It sounds to me like your son is like my son. He needs to be in one home with more stability in his life. My daughter has handled going back and forth quite well over the years but my son (who is now 6) cannot handle it. He is not happy when he is going back and forth. My daughter is with her dad 1/2 time while my son, who requires more routine, a more frequent and constant caregiver and less change in his life is with me most of the time. He was getting sick way too much with two different schedules and his dad was unwilling to work with me on trying to make things more consistent. Now my son only goes to his dad's every other weekend, 1 weeknight a week and 1/2 the vacations. It has made a world of difference. He has done much better since I had this enforced. I think boys need the consistency more and they also need their moms more when they are younger.
I would have freaked too if my ex took my child to have his or her back adjusted! You do have joint legal custody right? If so, he has definitely broken the rules there... I am not even allowed to take my daughter to a therapist without my ex's signature because we have joint legal custody. Medical guidelines are not spelled out in our decree but it is the law in California. A reputable therapist will not see a child without the signature of both parents if you have joint legal custody. I don't see why a accupuncturist would be any different. I would give that accupuncturist a call and ask why he/she treated your child without legal consent.
Personally, I have to deal with two ex's. The one where I have our child full-time is much easier. He does better in school, he is healthier and his father and I get along much better (because I am willing to communicate for my son's benefit). The one where we have joint custody is much rockier. Communication is strained, it is a constant power struggle, she is having a harder time in school, etc. If you can afford to get full custody I would go for it! It sounds like your son needs it. If you take him to court they will definitely see that you are considering your child's interests and he is not. By not communicating with you he is hurting your child.
In my situation with my daughter, I choose the less aggressive path with my ex. I pick my battles carefully. I cannot afford to take him to court and I want to keep the lines of communication open. It helps to a point.
In the meantime, breath and keep the communication to a minimum. No sense in fighting over things that are out of your control at the moment. Save it for your attorney. That's what I would do if I were taking my ex to court. Document it all and take some peace in the fact that you are doing what is best for your child and that is all you are capable of.
lawsuit: his lawyers say philip morris inc. knew its product was dangerous and addictive.
11:32 pm pst on monday, march 7, 2005
by john welsh / the press-enterprise
Isn't that the exact company the WTBTS has stock in?
the other day i was on a site....looking for a certian news clip i had seen where an older news guy get's mad at the news anchor that replaced him on air...anyway a hit came up reading old news anchor and i downloaded it.
after it was done downloading i started playing it.
this guy's handing out things to certain people he calls by name at a press conference.
FMZ: I see your point that to get the full reality of something some people may feel they need to witness it. At the same time I do not and did not need to witness a beheading sound clip to know what we are fighting for. I believe in freedom from oppression and I support the war effort. My convictions did not change as a result of hearing that sound clip. All it accomplished for me was to make me sad that that man was tortured so brutally. I was already sickened by hearing about it in the first place. I believe to be informed is one thing but to seek out violence is another. I do not believe any of the guys here at work were watching these videos to see what we are fighting for. They were getting a thrill from it and making jokes about it. In my opinion that is completely disrespectful of life and the value it holds. Not to mention it made for and uncomfortable work environment for me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID I END UP POSTED SO MANY TIMES!!! I so did not do that intentionally...
the other day i was on a site....looking for a certian news clip i had seen where an older news guy get's mad at the news anchor that replaced him on air...anyway a hit came up reading old news anchor and i downloaded it.
after it was done downloading i started playing it.
this guy's handing out things to certain people he calls by name at a press conference.
under74: I'm with you! The guys here at work think it's entertaining to watch the beheading videos of those poor people who have been killed by terrorists. I guess there's a website dedicated to making those videos available. I was listening to talk radio one day and they played the sound clip of the first beheading right after it had happened and I was so sickened by it. I was not prepared for it and I was taken completely off guard. I had a good cry and I felt so bad having listened to it. I thought about my own child or husband going through such a horrific death and others gaining some sort of sick entertainment from watching or listening to it and I was truly hurt by the whole experience. I think it's awful!!!
Also, I have witnessed violence in real life. I have seen my neighbor take a flying leap head first off the 2nd floor onto the concrete below (in front of his entire family) and I have seen a dead man on the freeway in more than one piece. I have also seen one man bash another man's head into the bleachers multiple times over a softball game. It still pisses me off that people get a thrill from watching these types of things happen for pure entertainment and curiosity.
my parents went to the assembly this weekend.
they were telling me about disciplining children... the speaker was saying how all babies are born selfish and demanding for their own needs and not anyone elses.
the jist of the talk being about discipline, and training children ...ie taking them out for a good beating.. well, i don't know if any of you have ever 'just seen red!
Brooke:
I laid my son down as he slept and I grabbed her hand from another hit and I told her one more time she did it I would do the same to her but 10 fold! She was so stunned. I said she is 2 what do you want from her she is 2. I told her to clean up her kid and calm her down go back in the hall and I said if I ever see you touch her like that again or your other kid I will beat you but I will not lead you in here I will do it infront of everyone.
Hurray for you! Now that I am older I have the strength to stand up to abusive parents and I have done so. It just kills me to think of the times I could have done something as a JW and did not. That woman beating her little boy would not want to do so in front of me now...
a lady caller (catholic) today who married a df'd jw.
she called dr. laura because the grandparents put their beliefs in the little 3 year old's head...not going to heaven because she isn't a jw, etc.
dr. laura, in true fashion, said that the lady who called was irresponsible because she 1) should not leave a young child alone, unsupervised, with people who are filling her head full of "stuff" that they don't agree with; and 2) because they are hostile to her husband, the df'd jw.. she blasted the lady who called about leaving her kid with these grandparents.
IMHO - Dr. Laura has some good opinions but she is a royal bi#c! who speaks before getting the full story. How could this lady who is not a JW know what JWs are like and how could she know that these people would treat her child this way. Obviously, this is bothering her and that is why she is seeking advice. It is not this mom's fault the child's grandparents are deluded it's the grandparents' fault. The mom is right to be concerned and why would Dr. Laura not blame the grandparents for their actions?
Dr. Laura bugs me because she always cuts people off and goes on her little tyrade. She speaks without full understanding and she hurts many people's feelings unnecessarily IMHO. Granted, she is great at sizing some people up right away but at other times I think she misses the point entirely!
my parents went to the assembly this weekend.
they were telling me about disciplining children... the speaker was saying how all babies are born selfish and demanding for their own needs and not anyone elses.
the jist of the talk being about discipline, and training children ...ie taking them out for a good beating.. well, i don't know if any of you have ever 'just seen red!
I was not raised in the "troof" and I was not physically abused either. I have taken the same approach with my children. I do not "beat" my kids and I am not even a proponent of pulling the ear or hair or even slapping the hand. I have found other ways to discipline and woudn't you know it my kids are well behaved! Imagine that...
I remember brothers and sisters holding their hands over their babies mouths to keep them quiet at meetings. Not just touching the mouth but physically covering it for a minute or two straight. I thought what if that child has a stuffy nose; he/she must be panicked or unable to breath! Yet I said nothing. I also remember a sister with her son bent over her lap in the restroom at an assembly and she was hitting her little son with closed fists on his back over and over again. He was actually trying to fight back to make her stop. I was a teenager and I wanted to jump on her to make her stop. The bathroom was full of sisters that did and said nothing! I thought in any other situation someone would have done something, right?
I don't know but I have made an effort to report anything I see that is out of line from that time on. I once saw a woman beating her two toddlers in the back seat of a car with a wooden cooking spoon. She was hurling it at their heads and faces with full force over and over again. The dad was just driving along as though nothing was happening. The little ones were holding their hands up to protect themselves. I called 911 and reported the license plate number and the location of the vehicle.
I felt so bad for not helping that little boy in the bathroom and for not saying anything to the witness parents who beat their kids bare butts with spoons, belts and sticks in the back room during meetings. I have reported abuse ever since. It's all I can do to redeem myself...
i've been on this site now for a little while and think its brilliant and its been a tonic in getting things straight and for gathering research.
(thanks simon & ang).
in fact its difficult to get work done during the day because of reading posts on here.. a couple of months ago if someone wouldve asked me whether i was apostate i would have flatly refused partly because the indoctrination still has its effect even after a decade and the negative connotation attached to the word 'apostate' is still at the back of my mind.
cindykp:
Why view yourself as a "former" anything? You're you and you're da bomb!
