My ex....is an idiot. I have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son. We have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him. Last nite he informed me that he wasn't going to take our son back to daycare (as written) because he decided that since he's been sniffling (due to cold) he's got allergies and took him to an accupuncturist/accupressure "doctor" who determined these said allergies and said it's best to keep him away from cats for 24 hours. Not only that, he went ahead and had the acupuncturist/accupressure "doctor" manipulate our sons spine & give him a massage (he's 4). Tried to tell me that it was ok to do that, and that he has his other son's back done as well. The baby is 2 1/2 months old. I'm not sure of the ramificiations of "manipulating" a child that young's back.
Needless to say my head came off my shoulders for various reasons....most of all because he didn't see fit to tell me any of this until I called him and because he doesn't feel it's "any of my business" to call me & discuss what he does with our son. He does not have an open line of communication with me and when I try he tells me that it's none of my business. I spent the best part of our converstion trying to explain to him why it IS in fact my business and that he needs to include me and work WITH me. He doesn't see that as an issue. He and his wife like to pretend I don't exist when they have my son. What I say doesn't matter I'm a nobody.
Am I wrong to feel a little upset?? My problem with my ex is he's very passive aggressive and I'm very passionate when it comes to my kid and so I totally react to him, including tears. He never talks to me about our son (until I bring up problems then it's all out war) he tells me that major life changes in our sons life that involve him (marriage/baby) doesn't mean he has to tell me. I must preface that our son has been acting out BIG TIME since the baby was born and I told him (the ex) that it would have been nice to have a heads up so I would know why. He also says that our son NEVER does anything bad when he's with his dad. I can tell you that when it comes time for him to visit his dad, he freaks out. His dad sees that as me being too soft on him and doesn't allow our son to have "feelings" if you will...tells him to knock it off and then continues to tell him he's a baby and we "don't teach you to be like this" and how he "has to set an example" to the baby. Again, my son is 4. He sees the lips moving but all he hears is "blah blah blah". He just knows that he doesn't want to go and dad doesn't care. When I get him back from a visit with his dad he's full of anger and he has taken to screaming & hitting when he has to do something he doesn't want to do.
My ex takes everything to a personal level whenever I try to talk to him. He's wonderful at telling me that I've done this or I've done that and the discussion always veers off the subject (our son). I'm at my wits end and am currently waiting for my attorney to call. In the meantime...how do you handle such a person? I end up losing my mind he makes me crazy! Not taking him back to daycare because "I made this decision and that's the way it is" is pretty much going to get him in more trouble than he realizes, but how do I handle him in the meantime?? It's not so easy to "just ignore" him.
I want to pop his head off his shoulders but since murder is still a felony I need help!! I have to face him tonite and have pretty much bitten off my tounge in the past. How the hell do I deal with this until I get to court?? Let him get away with it?? Go with the flow?? Any suggestions??
SK.....thanks for letting me rant.....