Posts by adelmaal

10

thanx for the welcome

by tijkmo in

thanx for all your welcoming comments..im really quite nervous about this..some of you spoke about spiritual abuse and i understand this but im also aware that victims of abuse can rationalise that it will be the last time and at least its attention which i guess is why im still struggling to make a clean break..aswell as my family all being jw and i dont have friends elsewhere..to let you know a bit bout me...unlike many here i loved it..nothing about being a witness was ever a problem for me..i pioneered straight from school because id always wanted to,not a sacrafice although i was good at everything academically musically sportily(im sorry its just a fact) loved the pioneer school..hated window cleaning but it was good money and i only worked a couple of days..i loved being ms..mags lit mikes hall cleaning..loved being an elder..i was not a bully i genuinely liked helping people..loved my group which was never boring liked training newer ones in the ministry helping with their talks loved sheperding..gave great talks and a rivetting wt study was on circuit and district assemblies and elders schools etc..esp got on well with young ones..i was a baptizer i did weddings and funerals cooked at quick builds and helped out on bethel constuction..i wasnt proud of myself i just took great pride in using all my time effort and abilities in serving j......and then i made a mistake....and what they did to me was neither scriptural organizational or humane...as a result of which i had one nervous breakdown after another along with several bouts of suicidal tendancies for which i was hospitalized my marraige failed my relationship with my family strained to say the least and even though ive been reinstated about 18 months now none of my former friends want anything to do with me...im picking up the pieces slowly and doing a music course at college(oh no i said the c word) there are still days when i think that stoning was less cruel than what they did to me....if i still prayed i would ask j to hurry up with armageddon already to put me out of my misery....thanx for listening..still got plenty more to say..tijkmo

adelmaal

Welcome and I hear you!

It can be difficult getting disfellowshipped and then reinstated only to find you no longer fit in, you feel constantly judged and you receive little to no support. I too enjoyed being a witness until my life started going downhill. Then it got really tough. I ended up with a failed marriage, an ulcer, disfellowshipped and alone as a single mom. It was not fun.

I have received so much more unconditional love and support from my worldly family and friends than I ever did in that religion. Now that I have been away long enough I have also been able to establish a relationship with God based on what is in my heart and not what is said from a platform. It's quite liberating and he is so much more loving, merciful and forgiving (just as Jesus was) than I ever imagined.

It's amazing. It's almost like John 15:19 applies to them in every sense of the word, "If you were a part of the ~~world~~ [organization], the ~~world~~ [organization] would be fond of what is its own. Now because you are no part of the ~~world~~ [organization], but I have chosen you out of the ~~world~~ [organization], on this account the ~~world~~ [organization] hates you." Mercy is not in their make-up and unconditional love is a foreign concept. They love you so long as you are exactly like them. And don't you dare mess up!

It's those of us that served for the right reasons and treated people kindly that eventually see the injustice in it all. We cannot change it though because it is to ingrained and it's almost like a mob mentality.

Hang in there and again welcome.

18

Analyize this

by IP_SEC in

jw
friends

analyze this:.

i had a dream last night, that i was being tried by the congregation.

it was outside, in the woods, elders standing around me in a circle.

adelmaal

Maybe you realize that they can hurt you but not permanently. You will be ok. You will get past it. You will survive. No matter what they do you can rise above it and you will be ok with yourself and with God.

Basically, they have no real hold on you and eventually they will tire of causing you drama and move onto some other poor soul.

Just my wild hunch not knowing your circumstances

15

counsel from elders

by bonnzo in

jw
friends

how many have had elder give u this counsel(or if /were an elder given this counsel):

"its come to our attention that u were(fill in space with anything that is up to your own conscience that is ok in wt world such as pg-13 movie, certain music, or choice of entertainmen).

this has offended the conscience of others" then proceeds to counsel u to cease and desist so as to appease the other persons conscience.. isn't this a case of the sensitive conscience forcing me to abide their concience even more so than they claim im offending theirs?

adelmaal

My ex-husband had this happen one time and he asked whose conscience it was he had offended and then proceed to inquire as to why the individual did not approach him personally about it. That pretty much shut the elder up. The brother who had been offended did eventually speak to him and it was such a trivial matter. He was basically just sticking his nose in where it didn't belong. The individual just so happened to be the elder's son - LOL.

51

Were you invited to the Memorial?

by JH in

jw
friends

has anybody invited you to go to the memorial this year?

do you expect to be invited?.

usually elders come over a few days before to invite me, but they didn't come yet....

adelmaal

Pole:

That's priceless. It's like they think we are obligated to attend. How silly is that?

I pretty much handled the elders the same way the last time they came to see me. They wanted to talk about my boyfriend, the holidays, etc. I told them I was not interested in attending meetings, going out in service or discussing my personal matters with them. They haven't been back since.

Boo hoo... No Memorial ~~invite~~ guilt trip for me this year.

17

Timing or Karma?

by hillbilly in

jw
friends

i guess some things are meant to be.

"it's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along"....why are we always outta sync with what our heart really wants.

why is it so hard to do the right thing sometimes?.

adelmaal

Temtation would be my answer.

Are you sure you're not already with the right one and just going through a rough patch? I cannot even begin to know because I'm not in your relationship or your circumstances but I've come to appreciate the phrase, "The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence unless you are neglecting your own lawn."

I have been in the situation where I thought the right one came along and I thought I was with the wrong one. I ended up turning my life upside down for someone who ended up not being the right one (he left me 7 months pregnant for another woman; guess he thought she was the right one - LOL). Now my children are in split homes.

My husband and I have both been through divorce and we believe we are now with the right person. The thing I try to remember about our relationship is that there will be times when we feel like we no longer love eachother or we are not even liking eachother (those will probably be the times when someone else looks better) but if we work through those times our relationship will be that much stronger for it.

Hang in there... I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

Personally though, I think leaving one relationship for another seldom works. Not that you shouldn't leave a relationship that does not make you happy. I just think it's better to leave because you are unhappy rather than to leave because you think someone else will make you happy.

61

Robert Blake Found Not Guilty!

by Sunspot in

.

he was just found not guilty on two counts, and the jury was deadlocked 11-1 on the third count.

annie

adelmaal

Sunspot:

I think we pretty much agree on the subject. I don't know whether or not he's innocent; I didn't follow the case. I wasn't on the jury. I just stated that no matter how much drama Bakley caused for him financially it would not justify him murdering her if he did. That is all. Just my opinion.

Don't forget---the jury MUST feel that there is NO doubt about the person's guilt, not even a shred that he may be innocent of the charges, in order to return a verdict of guilty.

You left out a key word above though... It should read no "reasonable" doubt. Any good attorney can punch holes in a case and can cast some doubt. It happens quite often in high profile cases where the defendant can afford a high priced attorney while the DA operates on a limited budget. OJ, Blake, Jackson, Bryant all got off not because we know for a fact they were innocent but because they had great attorneys. Even the jurors on the news today admitted they could not say for a certainty that Blake was innocent. They could only say he was not proven guilty. There's a difference between being innocent and being not guilty.

In my opinion, the key thing juries need to keep in mind is what constitutes reasonable doubt. Does common sense based on the facts of the case convince you that the person did it. If not, then you have reasonable doubt.

32

Crisis of Conscience

by Thinking in

my copy came in and i picked it up today.

i have a friend that i met online.....about 5 years ago.

at the time he was an elder and i was a struggling sister.

adelmaal

Enjoy! I too am reading the book and loving it. I can't believe how stupid I was when I was a JW though... It's quite eye opening.

It's almost like that feeling you get when you find out your spouse was cheating on you and you were the last to know about it. You feel not only betrayed but pretty ignorant.

61

Robert Blake Found Not Guilty!

by Sunspot in

.

he was just found not guilty on two counts, and the jury was deadlocked 11-1 on the third count.

annie

adelmaal

sunspot:

i was not speaking regarding the merits of the case (i have not followed it closely except to hear there were various people who claimed he asked them to kill her for him). i was responding to the comment i quoted in my post.

Who could blame him for whacking out that gold digging human garbage that tried to rip him off? Justice served.

the above made it sound as though he would have been justified in killing her as a result of her being a gold digger. there are more important things than money and no amount of attempting to rip you off could justify murdering the mother of your own child.

61

Robert Blake Found Not Guilty!

by Sunspot in

.

he was just found not guilty on two counts, and the jury was deadlocked 11-1 on the third count.

annie

adelmaal

Who could blame him for whacking out that gold digging human garbage that tried to rip him off? Justice served.

He killed his child's mother over money. That is far from justice.

61

Robert Blake Found Not Guilty!

by Sunspot in

.

he was just found not guilty on two counts, and the jury was deadlocked 11-1 on the third count.

annie

adelmaal

Yet another OJ drama... It's amazing how Scott Peterson (I totally believe he is guilty) can get the death penalty and yet famous figures Robert Blake and OJ Simpson (both also guilty as sin in my opinion) can walk. Go figure!