I am terrified to be writing this because I am officially being bad. I am talking with other "sinners". I do not want to be a witness. I am leading a seriously double life though. My dad is a po and has no idea i should be disfellowshipped. All of my whole extended family are in the truth. Many are pioneers. All of my "friends" are witnesses.
My religion however is more of a new age religion but I cannot fight what I have had drilled in my brain for 18 years. I live with my boyfriend. Most of the reason I stay with him is because he accepts me for me. I celebrate all the holidays. I listen to bad music. I dd not think there will be armageddon.
But I still love my family. I love to see them but whenever I come home from visiting I just want to kill myself. My older 2 siblings are not in the truth which is a huge relief. But I still have 2 siblings who love me to death and want me to come back. I do not know what to do.I do not know if I should tell my parents so I do not have to pretend. Should I go back to the 'truth' and know I am not being true to myself but still have lots of family and love.I have serious issues and need help!!!! Thank you. Thank you