Posts by butalbee

19

JW & NON-JW RELATIONSHIP

by TheRecordCollector in

hello folk's;.

i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.

a woman that i love very dearly.

In my situation, to tell you the truth, I backed off, I left him alone, I was hurt by his demon brother's comments and it made me second guess even my feeling for him to the point where I would rather loose him in my life, than face up to it. He came back to me, I didn't come to him. But unlike you and your angel, we were very close friends to begin with. TO BEGIN WITH.

If you really care for this lady, do yourself a favor--give yourself and her some time. Dig deep inside yourself to figure out if she is really this incredible love in your life or just an obsession. Sometimes an obsession can mask itself as true love...

After giving it some time, and if in your heart you figure things out...STOP CHASING HER(that's how she feels, like she's being chased, and that is not appealing).

How much do you really know about her? Do you and her have anything in common? Do you really know what makes her tick? Or are you just attracted to her exterior? My friend and me have a lot in common, and he once told me, quite a while ago, that he felt like he knew me all his life.

I wish you hadn't been so open with your feelings to her, Witnesses can't date outside their religion, so unless that person already cares for you a great deal, it will never be. She's right that a man and a woman can't have a platonic relationship, but as a woman, myself, her saying that is a sign that somehow, someway she is in fact feeling something for you--she wouldn't say that unless she thought about it.

Jw's can send mix signal, be forewarned.

Do you know of any place where she goes, where you could just wind up? Like does she go shopping at a certain time at a certain place? Someplace, where you could casually "notice" her and go over to her and say hello? Look into her eyes, really look into her eyes, and tell me what you see. You can tell a lot about a person by looking into their eyes, you can communicate with someone by eye contact, saying a million words at a glance.

You've been so overwhelming with her, now you need to be subtle.

I am not telling you to let her go, I'm telling you to back off. You definitely need to think about your feelings for her. You need to build a friendship with her, something concrete, something that can develop into something much more, unfortunately it might be too late!

You need to do some soul searching...

Butalbee

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

Oh, and his brother asked me if We had any kind of sexual relations yet!! I practically choked on my dessert! Does kissing count as sex these days???????????? That's about it. I told him no. He thinks I'm lying, ofcourse.

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

Yep, dinner tonight at the brother's house was a nightmare! The big topic of this evening was why my friend has not been attending the meeting and what my intentions with him are. The brother commented while my friend and his sister in law were doing dishes that he thinks it's my influence that has prevented him from going to the meetings. I told him that Matt hardly went to begin with, and that I had nothing to do with it, actually I didn't even know he wasn't going tuesday anymore, since I work that night. The brother also asked if I plan on attending and that his wife has offered to do the bible study crap with me. Is he totally out of his mind??????????? His brother also said that if I plan to keep pursuing Matt that I need to think about this. And then he gave me a book called Isiah's prophecies. Okay, so now I am confused--I am the wicked witch in his brother's eyes, but now he's trying to convert me??????/

I showed the book to Matt, he made me laugh--he said, "oh yeah, that's supposed to be a really deep book, I haven't read it yet though!"

I am concerned why he hasn't been going to those meetings. He should go, it is who he is, and what he believes! I hope it has nothing to do with me. Or maybe his brother is trying to play mind games with us again.

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

Just thought I'd keep ya updated:
Since my last post things between us are excellent!!! It seems somehow that what his brother was trying to do{keep us apart} really brought us closer together. Closer than ever before, because this tested our relationship, it made us face our feeling for one another as not just a platonic relationship, but something much more. He knows me so well, and I love that about him, it's like he knows exactly what is on my mind, what I am thinking, before I say anything at all.

A couple weeks ago he asked me out on a real date. We went to dinner and a movie and it was wonderful. But it made me nervous because for the first time "us" was more than just friends, and their was tension between us...especially when he brought me home, walking me to my door. He kissed me, and I swear I turned to jello...That was the best night of my life. And so far, so good.

But the demon brother still hates me, and the thought of us. I made the mistake of agreeing to going over to their house for dinner tonight. I know it's gonna become a night of hell, I just have a feeling...but I guess if somehow we are to make this work for the long run, that I have to get along with the brother, and he's gonna have to accept it...

19

JW & NON-JW RELATIONSHIP

by TheRecordCollector in

hello folk's;.

i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.

a woman that i love very dearly.

butalbee

Believe me, I know what you are going through!!!! I posted a topic about my relationship with a witness called "relatives and relationships" around the beginning of this month. All I can say it is hard...Very hard.

My best advice to you would've been not to get totally obsessed with her, yes of course you love her, but if you ever want that love returned you have to back off, I'm not saying give her space, (which would drive you even crazier), but just try to build some kind of friendship--A BOND--that will open her eyes to you.

Telling anyone related to her congretation was a big misktake--now the elders are on to her, and watching her very closely.
Witness's have a very hard shell, almost impossible to crack, but if you do happen to somehow break through, I will tell you that they will show you the deepest, most incredible love that you could ever know! I know this, I experience this now. And it is amazing.

But I can't stress this enough--We were friends--best friends. Witnesses aren't supposed to date worldly people, that's another dogma in their religion. And if you press her too hard, you will loose her. Asking her to marry you was a very big mistake. I'm sorry to say.

You need to become her best friend, without the stress of romantic intentions by you to her. You need to connect with her on a deeper level--when you look into her eyes--do you know what she is thinking? You need that "cosmic connection" with JW if you are ever able to break through to their hearts.

This is a crazy religion, and I will also tell you not to ever speak disrepectful about it to her--this cult is all she knows--all that's been hammered in her head for so long--and if you were to ever bad mouth their belief's you can kiss your dreams of being with her goodbye.

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

I MISS HIM TERRIBLY THOUGH.

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

Today, my friend came up to me and said that we needed to talk. He told me that he thinks that there is more to this story than he's been told by me and his brother. He also said that he knows that I haven't been seeing anyone else, that he knows me better than that. He said he's had a lot of time to think about us(I haven't been taking the advice of anyone's post's, I haven't told him the truth about his brother), and that he doesn't want to lose me in his life, and that he misses the time we spend together. He asked me if I still felt the same way. Of course, I do, but I didn't tell him that, simply because I have had just as much time to think about us and maybe we don't belong together, maybe his brother is right to try to break us up. I am not a JW, and I really don't belong in his world. I mean could it really work anyway????? My sister tells me to follow my heart and stop thinking too much into this, but I don't know...We've been "friends" for what over 7 months and we are still technically "just friends", I haven't even kissed him--Is there something wrong with that? Okay, we do hug each other, but that's as close as we come physically. I guess, I'm just really bummed out about this whole mess, and I'm second guessing everything...Anyone got some words of wisdom for me?

P.S. I did tell him brother off, I was sick of the harassment from him while I was trying to work...He told me I was a bad influence on his brother, and that it's better this way...I told him to get the f**k out my life, and leave me alone, and that he was the bad influence in his brothers life, and that if he cared half as much as he claims to that he would more concerned in my friends happiness than who he finds happiness with. Of course I added more curse words than the above!!!!!

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

If I tell him the truth about his demonic brother, I'll loose him anyway. They are so close. This is like some kind of hellish nightmare and I can't wake up.

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

Today has been a horrible day. My friends' brother came back in to talk to me, telling me that I should have backed off and left them alone, like he said to do, and that now he had to take things into his own hands. At the time I had no clue as to what he meant by his words. But I soon found out when my friend came into work early because he needed to talk to me. The brother told him that I had been seeing another man and that he saw us kissing in a car, and that was the reason why I had been acting so strange lately. My heart fell to the floor. I guess he had been asking his brother for advice on my recent change in attitude towards us. He said that he couldn't believe that I would really do something like that to him and that he trusted me more than any other person that he knew, and that he should've listened to his brother to begin with not to get involved with anyone outside their faith. He wanted to know why, I would hurt him like that--I could not reply. I just stood there with my mouth open in total disbelief. I HAVE NOT BEEN SEEING ANYONE ELSE, I couldn't, I wouldn't, he means everything to me. Just seeing him walk in the room, puts a smile on my face, hearing his voice on the phone, makes me smile. Since I met him, there has been no other man in my life. We never went to the next level in our relationship, I haven't even kissed HIM yet. What we had between us was not a physical thing, it was more than any other relationship I ever had, emotionally we saw into each other's hearts. But why would his brother lie like this? My friend thinks so highly of him, looks up to him for guidance and encouragement. This is a horrible situation and I don't foresee any remedy. I spoke to my sister about this and she thinks that his brother is afraid of loosing him to me. I had to leave work early today, I was in tears...

25

relationships and relatives

by butalbee in

for the last 7 months i have been involved in a "friendship" with a jw.

he really was my best friend, who i felt i could confide in and trust with my life.

i have to admit that i have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what i was thinking, and feeling.

butalbee

For the last 7 months I have been involved in a "friendship" with a JW. He really was my best friend, who I felt I could confide in and trust with my life. I have to admit that I have never felt as close to another person before in my life, it was as though we were on the same level--he would finish my sentences, know what I was thinking, and feeling. We were very close as friends, but it never went beyond that even though we knew that we were exclusive in each other's life. A couple weeks ago, his brother came to my place of employment and threatened me to stay away from my friend, that I didn't belong with him, that I had no place in his life, he said alot of mean and hurtful things to me, making me feel totally worthless and inferior. But my friend had no clue that his brother came to see me, he's only been told bits and pieces of it from my co-workers who seen me in tears after that conversation. My friend keeps asking what happened, what's wrong, why am I so distant, why can't I look into his eyes like I used to, do I have someone else in my life, etc...I just can't tell him that his brother who he idolizes said such things to me, I know it would hurt him, and that is the one thing that I never want to do. I am not a witness(although, I have gone to meetings with my friend). And this isn't a teenie-bopper crush--I'm 25, he is 27(just to clarify). I have tried to be distant from him, since his brother's remarks, but it's hard--since we do work together. He calls me and I cut it short, and I won't go to lunch with him anymore. I am afraid to be truthful, for his brother's comments were very much to the point, but I miss my friend so much that I think it is driving me crazy. I don't know what to do, I need advice. Does anyone have any advice for me on this situation. I have never been anything but nice to his family, especially his brother. Now, though, I feel totally lost, and I feel this ache in my heart being away from him, and I know he feels the same. What do I do?