There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. (Leonard Cohen)
crazycate
JoinedPosts by crazycate
-
21
You never get a second chance to make a first impression....
by Mr. Falcon in...so here it goes.... my story is of no consequence.
i've been reading a long time here and just wanted to say that you guys are all nuts.
and i mean that in the highest form of complement.
-
-
-
43
Is it just human nature to gossip or are JW's worse? Feelings are hurt....
by mamalove init is so strange how once you distance yourself from your kingdom hall and friends, that they find it necesary to discuss and contemplate your departure and put out all kinds of statements that simply are not true.. i am licking my wounds today because some kind of nasty things were said about me to a friend of mine who is df, from her ubber righteous sister.
it was via text, so it was there to read.
the thing i can't figure out is i have nothing to do with this woman.
-
-
crazycate
I'm so sorry you were hurt.
Witnesses are taught that there is no "right" reason for someone to leave. Therefore, when someone leaves, they need to label them--figure out the reason.
Were they stumbled? Do they know it's right, but they don't have the will power to live the life they know they should? Are they apostate and thus dangerous? People who leave are supposed to be miserable and their lives are supposed to go down the toilet. They either are already involved in wrongdoing or soon will be.
I think a lot of the gossip is about trying to figure it out. But even though I understand some of the reasons people have said the things they have about me, it still hurts. And, again, I'm so sorry it happened to you.
-
16
What so bad about having a "clergy"?
by Mr. Falcon innote: again, i apologize if this topic has been already discussed previously.. among the many practices and professed beliefs that i have been indoctrinated into believing my entire life, there is a few in particular that have really made me scratch my head.
and this would be the claim that jehovah's witnesses do not have a clergy.
if i'm correct i think this is printed outright in a recent public edition of the watchtower regarding the beliefs of witnesses.
-
-
crazycate
Lost Generation - Exactly, they hold the cards and act almost like a parole officer, reporting back to "the branch" any recommendations that you be DF'd, reproved, removed, etc. Their lack of counselor-training is one of my biggest complaints. When confronted they will almost always admit that they are not "qualified mental health experts" but in reality, they never miss an oppurtunity to psychoanalyze you, render a judgement and then proscribe the same one-size-fits all "cure" that you mentioned, that being meetings/service/prayer.
Very interesting topic. I've been thinking about this myself lately. If God "gave some as prophets, some as evangelizers, some as shepherds and teachers" (I give you the gist) why would it be wrong to have someone whose sole job was to shepherd a particular congregation? And wouldn't it be great if said person was trained to deal with mental health issues and other problems, rather than having someone without a clue judging and disciplining?
And you can't say there isn't a paid clergy when COs and DOs do no secular work and are supported by the congregations. What on earth is the difference between that and the pastor of some church?
-
21
The struggle to avoid being bitter
by crazycate ini dont want to be bitter.
but i now understand why some or many ex-jws are bitter.
i remember when i was an active zealous jw thinking, if someone wants to leave, go ahead and leave.
-
-
crazycate
Thank you everyone for all your insightful comments and good advice.
I feel that I am doing better and then something happens that brings all the bitterness back. Well, we struggle on, right?
-
131
so oompa got df'd this week...
by oompa inno call to invite me to a committee meeting...no notification of deciding i should be df'd....no telling my jw wife of the announcement...not a chance to appeal what i did not even know what was going on...my mini-serve son is devasted....he even researched it....told me to go to page 153-154 of the od book...never heard of it but it is a green hardback given to all who are to be baptized.
wow...the elders broke every rule in this book as to my case.... i have no respect for these men that can take away your jw family without even telling you they are going to.
my jw son has now begged me to meet with my committee...even though there is prob zero chance they can reverse the decision...that chance is from when they let you know...and you have to appeal by letter within 7 days (i cant make this stuff up!!
-
-
crazycate
I am so sorry. Physical healing is made much more difficult by emotional trauma. I wish you the best.
-
21
The struggle to avoid being bitter
by crazycate ini dont want to be bitter.
but i now understand why some or many ex-jws are bitter.
i remember when i was an active zealous jw thinking, if someone wants to leave, go ahead and leave.
-
-
crazycate
I don’t want to be bitter. Being bitter doesn’t hurt the object of my bitterness, only me. But I now understand why some or many ex-JWs are bitter. I remember when I was an active zealous JW thinking, “If someone wants to leave, go ahead and leave. But why make all the fuss? Why be bitter? This is your choice.”
The mistake I was making was not seeing that choosing to leave is not the same as choosing the consequences. Knowing what the consequences will be is not the same as choosing those consequences. It also doesn’t mean that those consequences are deserved.
When we leave the organization, we can be pretty sure what the consequences will be. Whether we are DFd, DAd, or merely inactive, we will be ostracized by everyone still in. And the longer we were part of the organization, the more likely it is that when we leave, we will lose every friend we ever had and the only family we have ever known.
We are expected to “know” that we are doing wrong in leaving and that, therefore, we are only getting what we deserve. If we want to change it, then we can go back “like we should.” But it is very difficult to respect rules, and the consequence of breaking rules, when we no longer believe they are true and just.
-
103
Jan. 15th WT- Go to Meetings to Fight the Blues- Eliminate other Activities
by flipper inour jw contact sent us the " witness only " wt's again and i just had to make a thread on this mind numbing article.
starting on pg.22 in the jan.15th it deals with " coping with discouragement ".
it seems lots of jw's are under intense stress these days ( can you blame them ?
-
-
crazycate
Flipper: "slowly insane." Exactly! That's what I felt like. What kind of monster would I be if I put my dog's favorite treat right in front of her and then tied her up so she couldn't get to it. It's coming, it's going to be here, it imminent, we're at the pencil point...how long until she goes berserk? And then I blame her for getting wigged out? It's not possible to stay worked up into a frenzy because of the imminence of something (running around yelling the sky is falling, the sky is falling) but at the same time be cool and collected about continuing on doing the same thing over and over when nothing ever happens.
By the way, great thread. I've enjoyed the comments.
-
103
Jan. 15th WT- Go to Meetings to Fight the Blues- Eliminate other Activities
by flipper inour jw contact sent us the " witness only " wt's again and i just had to make a thread on this mind numbing article.
starting on pg.22 in the jan.15th it deals with " coping with discouragement ".
it seems lots of jw's are under intense stress these days ( can you blame them ?
-
-
crazycate
If a one-legged blind diabetic moron can pioneer, why can't you? Oh the guilt, the guilt.
Guilt is exhausting. And a very powerful tool. I can remember feeling "good" that I made it to the meeting despite being exhausted and having a crashing headache. But why? Because then I didn't have to feel guilty.
Everyone at the meetings will talk about how refreshing the meetings are...how wonderful they make them feel (you are refreshed because I SAY you are refreshed), but for a reality check, see how they react to the news that a meeting has been canceled due to weather. Everyone is THRILLED. They get to stay home in their jammies, in front of the fire, relaxing. Oh the joy, all that and NO guilt.
My favorite new expression from this thread, "Don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining." Right on!
-
3
Personal Background Part 2: the basics of being a JW
by JeffT ini posted this thread about my novels.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/204976/1/some-info-on-my-novels-and-a-question-for-the-board.
in response to some questions from my writer's circle (non jw's) i am trying to explain witnesses to them.
part one considered how i became a jw, this is about the basics, if you think of stuff i need to add, let me know.
-
-
crazycate
I've enjoyed reading both parts. It is difficult to explain to someone who has never been a Witness the extent of the control. Fear played a huge role in our lives--fear of being "invited" into the back room, fear of being reproved (aka publicly humiliated), fear of being disfellowshipped.
You are doing a good job. Looking forward to your next installment.
-
3
Personal Background Part 2: the basics of being a JW
by JeffT ini posted this thread about my novels.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/204976/1/some-info-on-my-novels-and-a-question-for-the-board.
in response to some questions from my writer's circle (non jw's) i am trying to explain witnesses to them.
part one considered how i became a jw, this is about the basics, if you think of stuff i need to add, let me know.
-
-
crazycate
Freudian slip? "...a good gripe on the reality" LOL
Now I'll read the rest.