Posts by LongHairGal

30

What made you walk out on the "Truth"?

by Overrated in

jw
friends

i had a legal divorce from my ex wife( law of the land).

i was told not to expect to get remarried because my divorce was not legal to watchtower.. my divorce and situation seem to be a talk of gossip and even a many local needs talks.

i wanted to take some more schooling to get a better job, there was a local needs talk on higher education and it's dangers.

LongHairGal

PHIZZY:

The proverbial ‘straw’ for me was that 1995 article on Generation. I knew it was over and I could No longer continue in the JW religion.

The decision was instantaneous as I heard it. I planned my ‘Fade’. For somebody like myself who was soft shunned because I worked full time and refused to be targeted to do favors, Fading was relatively easy.. I only had a few friends there. I was also damn glad I held onto my job and resisted the criticism of hypocrites and Users.

In the time leading up to my Fade I heard a few excuses and rationalizations for the teaching. But, I was on my way Out. I couldn’t stand the hypocrisy and BS another minute.

I think many JWs privately did some hard thinking after this and either exited in the several years after that OR if they had any sense..made sure they got a career and started saving for their retirement. They woke up out of their stupor...They kept it to themselves but knew in their hearts they had to think differently.

There is a last straw for everybody and this was mine.

49

What Were You or Someone You Knew Counseled For That Was Ridiculous?

by minimus in

jw
friends

back in the day, tons of witnesses were brought in the “back room “ to be counseled by elders because of their dress and grooming.

some elders frowned on mustaches or hair that went past a certain point on a male.

women were regularly harassed because their skirt was too long or too short or had a slit on the side.

LongHairGal

MEAN MR MUSTARD:

Oh, I’m sure in this instance the ‘Karen’ type was a homely woman (although the name Karen makes me think of somebody attractive). I’m not saying I approve or disapprove of waxing, but this is the problem in Witness world where everybody can’t keep their mouth shut and blab their business all over the place!

Very good posts and stories here. I was counseled over clothing (typical if you look good). Also, my language 🙄. I also had other remarks said over the years I was there: don’t get a 2 door car (to which I told the busybody sister..if they are paying my car payments I’ll get any car they want); and that I should quit my full time job and do housecleaning and pioneer. Glad I never did this 😊.

Even though I’m Out, I know of some people who had a problem over remarks somebody made when they were seen on Zoom. I honestly don’t understand how anybody even stays in this religion. It is oppressive to the nth degree.

30

My Update

by James Jack in

i just turned 62 and celebrated my first birthday at a local restaurant.

nothing exotic, just draft beer and a burger.

i've been using my spare time to make my community a better place to visit.

LongHairGal

GREAT TEACHER:

Yes, they thought they would ‘punish’ me by not inviting me to these gatherings. They thought they would ‘isolate’ me. If this was supposed to ‘teach me a lesson’, it failed.🤣. I wasn’t raised a JW and wasn’t quitting my job for anybody.

Getting back to the OP and the thread topic: men were also damaged by this anti-career, anti-planning pressure. As far as shunning me: I remember an incident with an extended family of an elder. I said nothing and carried on as usual. Shunning doesn’t work without an audience. By not ‘noticing’, I deprived them of their audience. It eventually stopped but I was past the point of caring..I was done with Witness games and charades.

As far as any of the so-called ‘spiritual’ giants back in the day who never wanted to work, I’m glad I’m no longer in the religion to hear sob stories..Anybody coming up to me with an envelope a$king for money for these people would get a rude refusal and I have no desire to be unpleasant so it’s just as well I’m Out.

30

My Update

by James Jack in

i just turned 62 and celebrated my first birthday at a local restaurant.

nothing exotic, just draft beer and a burger.

i've been using my spare time to make my community a better place to visit.

LongHairGal

GREAT TEACHER:

Yes, it certainly was ‘pursuing poverty’ but the poverty being pushed by some was certainly not for them..just some other fool.

Interesting that you say you didn’t know any elders that pioneered, but they had families and ‘FULL TIME JOBS’! But yet I was knocked for having a full time job!!! So, I can honestly say this was total hypocrisy that I experienced. They thought young women were going to be targeted to pursue poverty and do favors for affluent old ladies and other assorted Users in the congregation..Meanwhile, ALL the older people I saw were either collecting their pensions or on their way.

I’m GLAD I never listened to any of the foolishness there because it would have ruined my life.

So what if Witnesses didn’t like me back then? So what if I missed out on invitations to dinners and gatherings? Older JWs with cushy lives (now passed away) would tell gullible younger pioneers pursuing poverty how ‘blessed’ they were. This would mean absolutely zero today and I’m glad I missed out on it.

30

My Update

by James Jack in

i just turned 62 and celebrated my first birthday at a local restaurant.

nothing exotic, just draft beer and a burger.

i've been using my spare time to make my community a better place to visit.

LongHairGal

JAMES JACK:

Happy Birthday and I wish you good health to be able to work to support yourself.👍🏻 I’m sure some ex-JWs aren’t meaning to ‘rub it in’ when they say they are successful. Some have done well for themselves and I’m sure their intention isn’t to make certain other people feel badly.

MICKBOBCAT:

I don’t blame you one bit for making sure these people don’t get any of your money. I would feel the same way since I was criticized and shunned back then because I worked full time. I wouldn’t be Retired today if I listened.. The sickest irony is I would be the last person to get help from these hypocrites and envious people. They better GO track down their ‘spiritual’ friends 🙄 for money (you know) the ones who invited them to all those ‘special gatherings’ I was excluded from!

I read two posts on Reddit the other day saying the religion is STILL encouraging people to turn down well-paying jobs! Hopefully with the internet there is enough warning so that young people there today do not repeat what happened to the generation before them who are struggling now as we speak!

36

DISFELLOWSHIPPING, How bad is it really?

by pistolpete in

i found this experience on reddit today.

disfellowshipping never really bothered me.

i always thought it was just another way of getting rid of members that weren't welcome anymore.. but i've changed my mind.

LongHairGal

JHINE:

The bad impression you got from this elder probably saved you from making a mistake.

On the topic of disfellowshipping: if a couple in the JW religion commits ‘immorality’ ..the woman is more likely to be disfellowshipped than the man. Doesn’t matter if she’s ‘repentant’.

As for me: I was never reproved for immorality but was scrutinized like crazy. I was viewed negatively because these people could never get anywhere with me. I wouldn’t quit my full time job and do housecleaning and favors for all the Users in the congregation. This was the ‘role’ they wanted single women to follow. I wasn’t having it..Any single woman who did (if she never got married)..usually ended up impoverished and/or on disability.. This seemed to be a pattern with maybe an exception here and there.

Yes, this is what is held out for women there. (You don’t see this mentioned too much on the forum and I think I am one of few women who comment on this.)

I credit luck and my non-JW upbringing for helping me not to succumb to pressure there and keep my anchor to Reality!

40

Will You Still Wear A Mask Even If You Don’t Have To?

by minimus in

jw
friends

it seems that some people just aren’t ready to put those masks aside even if they are fully vaccinated!

some can’t help but think their brains aren’t ready for “normal”..

LongHairGal

HOSER & PISTOLPETE:

Even though masks have been shown to have some limited value, I also agree they are more of a political statement, sad to say. I will continue to wear one in stores until I see nobody else wearing them. I’ll stash a few in my car just in case.

I agree that there’s nothing stupider than somebody wearing one outside in the open air with nobody else around. I know somebody who is vaccinated and does this 🙄!

I also think the selling of masks is now a business for some and they don’t want to lose that. So, naturally, they want people to keep wearing masks until Doomsday.

20

So telling that there are no little children

by eyeslice in

watching in on my wife's zoom meeting last night, there was an item about discipline is love.

they played a 'caleb' animated cartoon and then the instructions were 'if possible, ask selected young children' several questions.. it seems however, that there are no children in my wife's current congregation so the questions were all answered by retired brothers and sisters.

the congregation mainly consists of elderly people (like us) and the few of childbearing age seem not interested in having children.

LongHairGal

PETE ZAHUT:

I just realized the word ‘immortality’ was typed out somehow instead of ‘immorality’ which of course I meant. Sorry!..I agree with you that it was always cringe-worthy to me whenever a child raised their hand to answer and elaborate on something so inappropriate! And, yes, what would visitors think? JWs are notoriously ignorant on many things, but they can tell you all about circumcision 🙄.

ZACHIAS:

The last time I entered a hall was for somebody’s funeral talk. I saw one underage child there who looked about 8 or 9.. I guess when JW children become teenagers it is harder to keep them captive and force them to sit through this. I remember an older sister back in the day in the hall who paid her adult son $ if he would attend a meeting once in a while! But, even that didn’t work because after once or twice I never saw him again there. The phrase “you couldn’t pay me” comes to mind.

36

DISFELLOWSHIPPING, How bad is it really?

by pistolpete in

i found this experience on reddit today.

disfellowshipping never really bothered me.

i always thought it was just another way of getting rid of members that weren't welcome anymore.. but i've changed my mind.

LongHairGal

JHINE:

Yes I did..I stayed there far longer than I should have and I put up with a lot of bullsh#t. Got grief because I wouldn’t quit my full time job and was criticized over my figure. I was labeled as ‘not spiritual’ and they made sure I was hardly invited anywhere. Of course, this means nothing now.

It was the 1995 changed teaching on Generation that made me leave.

I can’t stress enough that single women back then were really targeted to pursue poverty more than anybody else in my opinion! ..This is unforgivable as far as I am concerned and not being raised a JW might have saved me..I stayed in the workforce until I Retired and I never forgot my father’s sensible advice!

I might have been in a very bad predicament now and needing help from Christendom. I would certainly be Out Of Luck if I expected the JWs to help me!

36

DISFELLOWSHIPPING, How bad is it really?

by pistolpete in

i found this experience on reddit today.

disfellowshipping never really bothered me.

i always thought it was just another way of getting rid of members that weren't welcome anymore.. but i've changed my mind.

LongHairGal

JHINE:

Yes, I can certainly believe many disfellowshipped or needy JWs have gotten help from the churches of Christendom. Thank heaven for these churches!..Also, its interesting about your interest in the JW religion as you have revealed you never were one. I was raised Roman Catholic.

It is truly most tragic the fallacies floating around in JWs heads. This idea that they are ‘going to be taken care of’ is probably the worst. I remember this being said to me when I was a young twenty-something. Thankfully, I let this go in one ear and out the other. I noticed all these older people had pensions and were in the workforce when younger! So, Why would I NOT be?

In all fairness though, it is also true that some JWs sleepwalk through their experience with no problems. My observation was that everybody is not ‘damaged’ and some have a great life.

I suspect the reason is because these JWs kept their business to themselves and sensibly did what they had to - and above all were not gullible enough to ever believe they ‘didn’t need a decent job or to plan for their future’!