my precious chelsea,.
this friday you will be twenty years old.
this thursday we will be moving you from the home in queen creek to your dorm in phoenix.
Confession-
You're a good man. Thanks for giving someone a positive start in this world. I can only imagine how wonderful your daughter must feel to have love and suppourt from a strong person like you.
This strikes such an opposite to the letter I recieved from my mother not long ago. It's amazing to contrast true love with the absence of it.
Thanks for sharing.
> an atheist in the woods .
> an atheist was walking through the woods.
> "what majestic trees"!
My 44 has been dethroned. I can barely squeeze off 50 rounds with my 44. I can't imagine this beast...
That 500 sure is a hoss, and there's an "Alaskan Guide" Model with a 2 inch bbl. It's a million times worse than the long barrel version.
The 460 XVR is built on the same frame as the 500, but it is a little less recoil than the 500, and the velocity is about 40%better.
I've shot both, and let just say- shooting gloves are your best friend.
my original myspace was used for my family, and adult still-jw kids.
but now i started a private account under the name untroubledmind ,it should come up private , but allow you to send a friends request .
i would love to have another avenue for talking to my friends here .
Misanthropic and Troubled mind, there's some handsome fat guy who wants to be your friend.
my original myspace was used for my family, and adult still-jw kids.
but now i started a private account under the name untroubledmind ,it should come up private , but allow you to send a friends request .
i would love to have another avenue for talking to my friends here .
I'd be glad to have you as a friend.
i must say its terribly hard to dredge up any enthusiasm for today or even this week at work, but i dont feel depressed.
the weather has been so undecided these last few weeks, a little sun, but mostly pregnant clouds breaking water over our heads several times a day.
its also quite warm and clammy as if we are in a limbo land between seasons and there is little in terms of beauty to redeem it.
Crumpet, my recent life events have led me to re-evaluate my life views- including those of my mortality.
You know I'm a sucker for cheesy Latin phrases, and I've got two for you that I happen to be a big fan of.
Carpe Diem: Seize the day. We've all heard it, but what does it mean? It's not about living each day as your last, but it's about making each day worth the 24 hours it encompasses. For me, I realized that idly letting time go by is not the way I want to live my life. I want to make sure that every night, when my head hits the pillow, that day has my name tattooed on it's ass, and the next day is shaking in fear as it knows it will soon be dealt with similarly. By making the most of things, I think the future won't hold nearly as many surprises, and the surprises it does hold will be easily dealt with as you conquer another day.
De inimico non loquaris sed cogites : Don't wish ill for your enemy; plan it. Not necessarily encouraging vengeful thinking- but part of conquering each day is also showing people who's boss. Don't worry with wishful thinking- make plans. A drop of determination is worth more than a handful of hope. Set goals, and then knock them over as you run past. There's no need to worry about things. Do things. Leave a long list of accomplishments behind you. That can be your legacy.
If I remember correctly, we're both Atheists. That means that instead of looking to God, we have to look in a mirror. Be who you want to be. Love yourself. Narcissism isn't a crime. Have faith in you, because in the end, you're all you've got.
I have more to say, but I'll say it via a more private method. Just know that you mean a lot to a lot of people, and that's about as much as you can ask for.
Avishai and Crumpet, thank you.
Nvr- I'll get you back for that, lol!
I'm inspired by everyone here. The fact that you sit down at your computer and type out whatever you do makes me happy. It takes everyone to keep this board running, and I like to see it getting stronger.
damn!!!.
i hit enter way too soon.. i've got a long post coming, so hold your applause for a moment, ok?
?.
A Few Words on Jail Life:
Food- You are given just about 2500 calories a day. Meals are at 06:30, 11:30, and 16:30. You are awake however, until 23:45- making you SUPER hungry at somewhere around 21:00. The Jail does have a comissary service, which you can order from on Mondays. A variety of overpriced snack foods are offered. Emphasis on overpriced, not variety. Usually at least 3 or for meals a week are completely detestable to the majority of the inmates ( tuna salad, bologna sandwiches, etc.) and so this is one a few of the inmates rack up. They are able to choke the stuff down, and they get as much of it as they want.
People- The majority of the inmates were Black, and the rest, with the exception of a handful of whites, were Hispanic. Most everyone was in for something petty- no one was looking at any more than 5 years. Interaction was awkward for me at first, since I had aversions to them due to them being criminals, and they had aversions to me since I'm a big bald white guy who's heavily tattooed. I started playing cards and found it to be a quick way to pass the time. The game was usually Spades, and occasionally Rummy, and they were always action packed and enjoyable. I had a regular Spades partner, JP, an older black gentleman in for receiving stolen property. He knew how to stack a deck of cards, and taught me quickly, and we became a 2 headed Spades playing machine. It was fun and gave me a vehicle to interact with a lot of other inmates and get to know them. Other pasttimes included chess and hair braiding. (I played a bit more chess and not so much hair braiding.
Sleeping- Lockdown was at 23:45, and you were expected to be in your cell by then. You weren't required to go to sleep, just to stay in there, so most people did calisthenics and then read until early in the AM. A few inmates would whisper funny litte things through the vent system, and so there was usually something keeping most people chuckling for a few minutes. After breakfast at 06:30, most people returned to bed until lunch. Those who chose to stay awake remained quiet out of respect (and fear of upsetting the majority populace.).
Cells- Each person is given their very own deluxe 11 foot by 8 foot cell. It consisted of metal bedframe with a drawer under it, and a shelf with 2 hooks for hanging things. Each cell has a 24" x 36" window with thick metal bars over it. It was nice to be able to look out, even though I could only see dumpsters. For your bed, you're given 2 sheets and 2 wool blankets. The blankets were itchy, so I put the 2 blankets under my mattress (if you can call it that) to create a pillow, and slept between the 2 sheets. The Cell has very bright lights in it, and at night time, a 100w lightbulb (called a "nightlight:) comes on. It's significantly darker than the regular lights, but once your eyes adjust, it seems just as bright. I slept with a shirt wrapped around my head to block out the light.
Clothes- Each inmate gets 2 complete outfits per week. You can alternate them every other day, or wear one for half a week and then switch to the other- it was your choice. They come in 2 sizes, too damn big and too damn small, and lucky me, I usually got too damn big. The couple of times I got an outfit that was too damn small, I was able to trade with someone else so I didn't have to waddle around in a pair of pants that fit like a tattoo.
Crime and Punishment- A lot of things most people don't worry about in the free world are big issues for inmates. You aren't allowed to keep any plastic in your room, and you aren't allowed to disagree with the officers. I got in a disagreement with a black female officer, and she found it necessary to make a comment about my appearance, and thus I made a comment about hers (she had dreadlocks- I told her loudly she looked like the Predator). That bought me a 24 hour vacation by my lonesome in isolation. It was rather peaceful, I read and slept to pass the time. The next day, I came out, and it was all ok.
Love and Lust- Most of the inmates were just as homophobic as anyone else. Contact wasn't really encouraged- even handshakes were few and far between. No one was gay, and there was no sodomy to say the least.
Showers- No communal showers. What a relief. Instead, there were individual shower stalls where you could catch athelete's foot in complete solitude. Unfortunately, the shower's weren't hot unless ALL the showers were occupied, so you had to literally ask a few other people to shower "with" you so you could all enjoy the warm water. The shower was a good place for me to be- it allowed me some private reflection time and a chance to feel clean.
Body art and Inmates- There were several inmates with several tattoos, but I was the most heavily modified. Also, my large stretched lobes were topics of conversation, and I often put spoons in them, or ran my fingers through them and stretched them out. For those of you who know me well, you know that I have rather large comical concept pieces of tattoo work, and this was a subject of discussion for many inmates and the guards. Everytime I had to be hand cuffed, the guard would say "hey. is that an ice cream cone?" and then they'd lead me around and show me off to the other guards. A couple of times, I was asked to hang handcuffs from my earlobes, and I did, much to the guards' satisfaction.
Well- that's about all I have to say about that.
damn!!!.
i hit enter way too soon.. i've got a long post coming, so hold your applause for a moment, ok?
?.
DARN IT I KEEP HITTING ENTER TOO SOON!!! ONE SECOND!
damn!!!.
i hit enter way too soon.. i've got a long post coming, so hold your applause for a moment, ok?
?.
As you all may have noticed- I've been missing for about a month.
Naturally, I have an explanation. Naturally, it's dramatic and full of ups and downs.
Here goes nothing.
I got into some very minor legal trouble in the middle of last November. I was in the right, but it was work related, and the local police were worried about their reputations as individual officers, and not condoning certain behaviors inside of my line of work. Basically, I'm supposed to keep a certain amount of area secure, and I did so- by meeting violent action with violent action. I came out on top, but of course it wouldn't look good if I escaped scot-free.
I was given a lawyer by the business I worked for. He got everything handled in so many words, and got the court date continued to June of this year. We went to court in June. Everything was handled, and life continued on.
Until July 9th. It was a hot, sticky North Carolina summer Monday, and I was working. Two Police officers showed up and asked for me by name. Having nothing to hide, I approached them, and they informed me that they had a warrant out for my arrest for failing to appear in court. But I went to court!
Not wanting to fight two men who looked like they wouldn't mind it, I surrendered to their custody. I was taken "downtown", and from the holding cell I started making phonecalls. My lawyer said he would figure out what the error was, and come handle it and get me out. I called my father, and told him what had happened.
6 hours later, I was still sitting in the holding cell. The lawyer couldn't be reached. I called Dad again. He said he would see what he could do to arrange getting me out. A few minutes later, I was removed from the holding cell to begin the "dressing out" procedure, which is where you are put in classy orange and white attire, and then placed in the county jail population.
I went into the general population, and found a place to sleep, and got to it. The next morning, I awoke to go to my first appearance before the court. My bail remained at $100,000. My father was sitting in the courtroom, and so I assumed he was there to work on getting me out. The rest of that day passed.
The next day I woke to hear my name being called by a guard, telling me I had a visit. I went to the visiting room, and there on the computer monitor was my father. I picked up the phone and began to talk to him. He didn't see it as necessary to pay to bond me out when my lawyer was working to get me out. Good point.
Another day passed. Then I got transferred to the Wake County Detention Center Annex, a really classy joint that is like summer camp compared to the old county jail. Days turned into a week. I made "friends" with a diverse group of ethnicities, and didn't experience anything like you might see on TV. Granted, it wasn't a fun place to be, but I wasn't suffering.
A week turned into 2. I got a letter from my father and my mother. Yeah, I know, I was surprised to read what she had to write. Here's a couple of excerpts:
Dear Richie, I am so sorry that you have deteriorated to this point.... There has never been a question of my love for you- you know that...I hope all of your real friends are there for you now. You certainly need all the support you can get... I would be willing to correspond with you in the future if you will allow me to be your mother. Part of that is having some say in your actions...
That letter was rediculous, but it was accompanied my a kind letter from my father, reminding me to stay strong as things were getting handled.
Two weeks turned into 3. On the 27th day of my incarceration, I was told that I had an appearance in court. I was taken to court, and my new lawyer straightened things out with the judge and DA, and I was released immediately. All charges were dropped, I was given a "jail credit for time served", and the Judge pulled me aside and encouraged me to file a civil suit against the lawyer who's negligence landed me in jail.
Coming out was nice, but it had its own share of troubles- people had been looking for me. Lines had been crossed and recrossed and become tangled. My voicemail box was full. I had almost a thousand emails from over 200 people inquiring as to where I was.
But somehow- through all this, I learned a lesson. What I lack in family is made up for in a family of friendships. People really cared, and quite a few little worlds stopped turning because ole Richie had disappeared off the globe.
Anyway- all is officially well. I'm safe, life continues, and I move forward. Everyone who tried to contact me will be contacted back, I promise. Things have just been overwhelming, and I've been handling face to face relationships first.
Thank you for everyone's concern.
Now, before everyone starts asking questions, I will post a second portion talking about the day to day life of an average inmate, and a few of my particularly amusing experiences in the big house.
For now, this jail bird must fly.
damn!!!.
i hit enter way too soon.. i've got a long post coming, so hold your applause for a moment, ok?
?.
DAMN!!!
I hit enter WAY too soon.
I've got a long post coming, so hold your applause for a moment, ok??
