my hub is disfellowshipped, we have a 4 year old child , i make it very clear that im annoyed with local elders who never reported the min servant that abused children in the local cong to the police leaving him free to abuse my child , i am not a jw and have never been one , i would have thought that my hubs family ie his mother , brothers and sister would see my point of view regarding this matter, and not take it out on my innocent 4 year old by not coming to visit her , or inviting her to thier home since last july , when it was the court case so i asked mum inlaw to look after her grandchild as i had no choice .
they can think im an apostate bitch if they like because i really do no care but it must upset them not seeing my husband and child , when some of you were dubs did it upset you not having contact with grandchildren/neices /nephews, i know that as a child my hubs sister cried her self to sleep at night worrying about her non jw father dying at armagedon, poor kid i think thats child abuse putting that in her head .
what should i do to encourage a relationship with my child, they only live a 15 min walk away .
insanity
indeed it is a kind of insanity...
but that doesn't mean they don't feel the pain too..
i know my family did
and when i was eventually reinstated one of the elders in my hall told me how painful it was to come to the kh and not be able to speak to me.
the problem is that the priority is obeying the org rather than doing the humane loving thing.
even when they know mistakes have been made allegiance is still first and foremost to the org.
which is fact insane.
here is an interesting challenge for the folks.
this thread revolves around one subject, and that is thomas paine's brilliant critique of the bible written in about 1795. he did most of this from memory, while in prison in france.. http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/thomas_paine/age_of_reason/.
the challenge is this: critique his essays.
suggesting
playing a bit fast and loose with the english language eh
this is probably prompted by the fact that i had a dream about someone last night who we used to be pretty good friends with prior to us leaving the org.
also another couple we used to be friends with gave birth to their first child last month and we'd love to see them.
here's the obvious: .
go...with the knowledge you are going on your terms..that nothing anyone will say or do will affect you..
say hi to whoever you need to..and invite them to come see you whenever they want.. ignore any attempts by elders to involve you in 'procedures' by just laughing them off (in a jovial not sneering way)
veiw it as a kind of reunion..
be unembarassable.
enjoy.
so tomorrow is my 9th yr anniversary and my hubby (semi-active jw) has never bought me anything for our anniversary.
he may have gotten me a card once or twice.
last year i gave him cufflinks and told him i was getting him something 3 days before our anni.
JWs are mess-up with so many social issues. Gift-giving is just one of them.
rubbish sweeping generalization there..
jws don't have a problem with gift-giving
some people do - whether jw or not..
sorry your husband is one of them.
im fairly new to this site & just wanted to make my presence known.
ive been away from the borg for nearly a year now (whoo hoo) without anyone noticing (so much for that brotherly luuuuuuurrvvve) been reading some of the posts & wow.
some stuff i already knew about, but a lot i did not.. was wondering how many of you are from the uk?
...aw poor old superman
surely poor invisible man...and ouch
tell me the story behind the picture.... why is mr flipper mr flipper?
how much do you look like zappa, jk666?
and gopher - are you really a little old man?
my avatar is a logo done for my band by merrymagdelene
the band is called the irony...which comes from my moniker tijkmo explained below....
my favourite band for a long time now is called Marillion...not big in usa...bigger in uk and bigger still in europe...i'm sure that the songwriter had been through something similar to myself as many of the songs reflect the exact same feelings and frustrations as me..and many a night i would put on a cd and cry myself to sleep....one of my all time favourite lines in a song..which i wish id written is- When you list all the qualities that you despise..and you realise..you're describing yourself...
Anyway on an album called-Holidays in Eden-(sic)..there is a song called-100 nights- and one verse reads this way:-
They invite me to their gatherings
In the finer parts or town
They seem attracted to my indifference
The Irony Just Knocks Me Out........which = T.I.J.K.M.O
My bestest friend and i used to say this to each other all the time whenever something ironic happened..he was a younger version of me and we were both fascinated by the eccentricities of the english language...aswell as having so many other things in common..music sport meeting parts quick builds etc etc.....and this is especially poignant as someone spread a horrible rumour that we had engaged in homosexual activity (sorry you alternative lifestylers....but it just wasnt true and is therefore slanderous)..and the elders chose to believe not the rumour because they knew that wasnt true but that i had started it in an attempt to distract from my own misdemeanours...how sad is that...well not as sad as my friend choosing to believe it too......god i miss him
So there you have it...bit of an anti-climax eh
How many anti-climaxes does it take to change a light bulb.............................................one
anyway a classic example of tijkmo is this conversation i had with my mother when she said i was on the road to becoming a victim of the devil because i couldnt get over the way i had been treated...i said-think about this....the devil told me he was out to get me..he didnt try to hide that..he was going to keep tempting me until i succombed.....j. told me i wouldnt be tempted beyond what i could bear but i would be shown a way out..and even if i made a mistake i would be forgiven on the basis of repentance and i would never be abandoned but i would be helped by a loving organization with kind merciful princes ruling for justice itself.....so i asked...who told the truth
Her response...well you cant have been truly repentant
tijkmo
i guess it's about time i write my story.
i've put this off for a long time... primarily becuase, while i thought my story was bad, i've read so many worse and heart-rending stories here.
i think, though, there is some therapeutic value in 'letting it all out' with others who know what 'it' was like.
yup nina...that is sooo me too
im fairly new to this site & just wanted to make my presence known.
ive been away from the borg for nearly a year now (whoo hoo) without anyone noticing (so much for that brotherly luuuuuuurrvvve) been reading some of the posts & wow.
some stuff i already knew about, but a lot i did not.. was wondering how many of you are from the uk?
hi i'm from glasgow
and i know a naughty joke about wonderwoman, superman, and the invisible man
so welcome
i guess it's about time i write my story.
i've put this off for a long time... primarily becuase, while i thought my story was bad, i've read so many worse and heart-rending stories here.
i think, though, there is some therapeutic value in 'letting it all out' with others who know what 'it' was like.
man this is getting harder and harder to read...not that i'm saying you should stop...
I don't think I've ever been so crushed...
this especially struck a chord..
i remember when i was df-ed and after several attempts to get reinstated i moved to another hall. the elders there were much kinder and spoke to me whenever they could. after one meeting as i was leaving the p.o came and told me that they had been discussing having a kh book study - for my benefit - since they were a small hall they only had 2 groups and both were held in homes which i couldnt attend. as it was by this time my parents had aquiesced and i used to go to their's for supper and attend their foreign language group at their kh. (this was a round trip of about 100 miles)
anyway i was pleased by the fact that the cong i was now attending would even consider this for me but it was the pos next comment that was more pleasing..he said they had got in touch with the chairman of my jc in my old congregation to see what they had to say about me and he had said it was unnecessary to rearrange the groups as they anticipated that my incarceration would shortly be ending.
i can't remember ever feeling such relief...the next day i spent wandering around edinburgh (festival) on cloud nine and i remember really laughing at the comedy show i went to see that evening - i had not laughed in so long.
a few weeks later i reapplied for reinstatement (to the elders of my old cong)...you would think that on the basis of what i had been told they would have been pleased to receive that request..weeks passed and i heard nothing. eventually the elders of my new hall had to find out what the delay was but by this time i was so crushed i no longer cared. it was obvious thay didn't want me reinstated - and even tho they eventually did (under pressure from my new kh) they never spoke to me again.
at any point in my df-ing if i had ever got the idea they were anxious to have me back rather than using anything true or false to keep me out then things would have turned out so very differently. as it was the damage they did turned me against not just them but god himself. i still believe in god but mainly cos someday i think he will demand an explanation from them.
when i eventually stopped going to kh etc..i was asked why and i adapted an illustration from an assembly item given ironically by my jc chairman....
he had an item that was about the necessity of disciplining children. he had a scene depicted where a child had done something wrong and altho the child said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again it was vital for the parents to instill this into the child by some form of punishment.
so far so ok.
i continued....that if you took a child's playstation away from him for a week that would seem like a life time to the child...but at the end of the week when you gave him it back he would give you a big hug and learn from the discpline without being scarred by it.
and even if you took away all his toys. all his friends, his schooling, his family and locked him in a room for the week then gave him it all back then he would still recover from that .
but if you punished him to that extent over a prolonged period of time then it would have an irreversible negative effect..if as evidence of the effect it was having he became angry, started hitting the walls and kicking the door in sheer frustration and further punishment was meted out each time then eventually you would completely break the child to the extent that he couldn't function as a normal human being. sure he would be subservient he would stop shouting and kicking etc etc...but when you let him out of the room and said come and gave me a hug..his response would be 'you must be joking'
he may be obedient from that point on but he would not be that way out of love.
my illustration continued by saying that in an 'ungodly imperfect' world there are measures taken to ensure that no child would be treated that way without the parents being taken to task...but we are supposed to believe that a loving god would direct his org to treat genuine repentant imperfect people that way...what a joke.
sadly i did not know your story then and i am truly truly sorry for your treatment (and for the length of this post)
as i said before i hope this has a happy ending for your sake.
i thought i had been going really well in my life until my mothers recent attempt at shunning me.
now im feeling like i don't want to connect with anyone.
i'm kind of disconnecting myself from my friends even, withdrawing.
HINTERLAND
WELL I GAVE UP ON DIGNITY
I LET IT GO IT WASN’T ME
AND I GAVE IN AND THAT WAS WRONG
I DIDNT FIGHT I WASN’T STRONG
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH
AND TO THE RIGHT THERE IS A VOICE
AND TO THE LEFT AS GOOD A CHOICE
AND EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE SELDOM SEEN
THEY STILL EXIST THOSE INBETWEEN
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH
AND WHEN YOU’RE HUNGRY AND YOU’RE THIRSTY
AND YOU’VE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE
IN A WORLD OF JUSTICE WITHOUT MERCY
WELL THAT’S NO PLACE TO LIVE
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH
AND PRISON
SELDOM WORKS
FOR THE INNOCENT
AND HEAVEN
SELDOM WAITS
FOR THE RETICENT
YOU CAN BE KIND
YOU CAN BE CRUEL
SO TAKE A STAND
SO MAKE YOUR CHOICE
AND WELCOME TO
MY HINTERLAND
the irony - hinterland 2007
