Yes, it hurt my mom to shun her three children. She was in constant conflict over this and suffered a great deal. When she was dying, she kept crying and apologizing for not being a good mother. Even though she remained a faithful dub unto death, she had a major sense that what she had done had caused major damage to our family. So very sad for all of us.
Posts by evita
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33
Did anyone just get tired?
by woodmonkey induring my days as a witness, which was only about 10 years ending circa 1981, most of my memories revolve around how totally exhausted i always felt.
toward the last, i was dragging my family out to the five meetings a week and working fulltime and getting my quota of publisher hours on the little sheet every month, even doing the temporary pioneering bit now and again.
when i had the ministry school, i even worked a four day week to be able to give every talk on the program in case someone did not show up, which frequently happened in our little congregation west of fort worth, tx.
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evita
During my senior year in High School I was trying to be a good little dub by auxiliary pioneering. Since I had arranged a shortened school schedule, my mom and her pioneer partner would pick me up around noon to do return visits. Five days a week I would climb into the car and promptly fall asleep in the back seat! I was so bored and exhausted....from being a teen, homework, meetings, and field service. Plus the stress of trying to figure out what I was going to do after I graduated. I think I just couldn't face my life.
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50
My life as a Jehovahs Witness
by iamfreenow ini have been writing my story today, before i joined the forum, and my friends linda and trev have encouraged me to post it.
actually, i found it very therapeutic to write it al down.
i hope it doeasn't bore you too much, as it is rather long.
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evita
Hi Marion
Your story is amazing and brought tears to my eyes. After so many years as a faithful JW you had the courage to leave it all behind. I would have given anything if my mom had realized the truth about the "truth".
I hope you're enjoying your freedom and the new possiblities open to you. I look forward to reading your posts as I know we will benefit from your wisdom and experience.
Love and Best Wishes,
Eva -
50
My life as a Jehovahs Witness
by iamfreenow ini have been writing my story today, before i joined the forum, and my friends linda and trev have encouraged me to post it.
actually, i found it very therapeutic to write it al down.
i hope it doeasn't bore you too much, as it is rather long.
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evita
No fair leaving us hanging! I am more than curious to find out why and how you left after being a pioneer for over 25 years. Thank you for sharing your story and a big WELCOME.
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63
What Kinds of Weird Things were you banned from or not allowed as a child?
by mama1119 ini could not have a big new kids on the block pin, or wear any new kids on the block pins in puplic becuase it was considered idolatry.
i also could not wear my shoes without laces (it was cool back then) because it looked wordly.
what other strange theings besides the usual holiday/birthday stuff weren't you allowed to do?
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evita
I could listen to the radiio but could not buy music or celeb magazines as that was "idolatry".
Absolutely no R movies and PG was suspect also.
Could not associate with "weak ones" at the hall.
No extra-curricular activities except working in the library and the superintendent's office - because those were "jobs".
I could not go on school field trips.
I was not allowed to go in FS with who I chose. Either the FS conductor assigned groups or my mom chose for me. I prayed to be in a group that stopped for a break at 11 and then did return visits. -
24
Brother pain in the ass wants to come and visit
by buffalosrfree inmy wife told me she had been asked by a bother (elder type) in the congregation wanted to come by and visit me.
i told her thats fine as long as he doesn't bring anyone else with him and its not just right after he is out in service as i don't want to be used to garner time.
if he is really interested in being nice then come on by, but if not, not to waste his or my time by bringing someone else with him, if i don't know them they aren't welcome in my home, end of discussion.
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evita
After I left and moved to a nearby town, one of the elders called to say he would like to stop by with another elder to "talk". The elder on the phone had been a close friend of the family and I was on a first name basis with him. I said they were welcome to stop by as friends in their casual clothes but not the "suits". They never showed up.
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SITTING ON THE BACK ROW..............NO, NOT AT THE MOVIES, AT THE KH
by vitty ini know we've heard a lot of horror stories about jcs and getting disfellowshipped.........................but what is your experiences of continuing going to the meetings to be reinstated.............what did it really feel like?.
did you mind being ignored or did you understand it and take it on the chin?.................................what were your familys treatment of you during the period of having to sit on the back row????.
when i saw ppl comming in late and leaving early .....................i just knew it was wrong, wrong , wrong to treat ppl that way.. in fact i got told off for smiling at a sister who i knew genuinly wanted to come back,( the pos wife told me ) i did it out of human feelings and was then blasted.. after she got reinstated, i was the first person she came upto and introduced herself.
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evita
When my JW mom remarried she invited my sister and me to the wedding. We accepted the invitation. Although we had left the religion years earlier, neither one of us had been DF or DA'd.
When we got there we were surprised to find that no family seats in front had been saved for us. The attendants seated us towards the back. I was very hurt. I think my mom felt bad when she realized how hurtful this was for us. She gave us a flower out of her bouquet as she walked back down the aisle. I guess "disciplining" us wasn't as satisfying as she thought it would be and just made us all sad. -
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i want to thank a lot of you
by isthisit ini want to thanks those of you who replied to my threads, and pm'd me.
anyway, the announcement was made.
we arrived at the meeting a little after 2015 and went away again just after the announcements and went for some drinks with some friends of my from uni, we told them that we had left, their reaction?
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evita
I just want to wish you the best in your new life. I read your DA letter and was very moved by how rational, calm and caring you seem to be. I was much more scared, angry, and irrational when I left :) You're fortunate that your dad is being so reasonable. I hope your parents continue to support your relationship.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and wishing you both a happy life out of the org!
Eva -
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Getting to college
by LtCmd.Lore infor all you people who were raised witnesses, and yet got to college without parental help, i want your story.. i'm in just that situation and i need ideas.
plus it will probably be interesting too.
so, please, commence with the stories...
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evita
Left home at 22. Worked full-time to support myself. At 24 I applied to the local state university and was accepted. Began working part-time and college full time. Applied for financial aid but didn't qualify because the previous year I had made too much money. I also had to prove that I was financially independent from my parents. Struggled to pay rent, food, gas, tuition, and books. An 85 year old guy totalled my car but it was old so insurance only gave me 1,000 dollars to replace it. I emptied my 401K to buy a used car. Finally got some financial aid in my Sophomore year that barely covered tuitiion but not books.
It took me 6 years to get my degree because I refused to take out loans. Also, I worked in retail and had to constantly beg for a school-friendly schedule. I was very poor and lived on brown rice and Progresso lentil soup. When I ran out of money, I would take some lower division units at the local Junior College.
In retrospect, I should have taken some loans out and completed my lower division at the Jr. college. Also, should have had a roommate to ease expenses. But my previous roommate had been a dub and that ended badly. I was still afraid of "worldly people" so I kept to myself and made not one friend during my whole college experience.
In my senior year I finally came out my self-imposed shell and began to shed some of my dub fears. I wish I been able to experience college as someone different but it's hard to shake years of indoctrination, fear, and emotional suppression. College really helped me do that. I graduated with a degree in English Lit. Not a really useful degree but I did it!
My advice is to just jump in. Use it as a time for exploration and accept that it will be difficult financially. Learn to cook basic, healthy food. Get involved in campus life rather than being just a "commuter student".
Also, try not to abuse caffeine, alcohol or junk food. I did not take care of myself physically and came to regret that. Take advantage of counselling services. I actually began seeing an inexpensive therapist at this time and that helped tremendously.
Good luck to you!
Eva -
49
panda's husband died...
by Country Girl inour dear friend, panda's, husband died of a heart attack a night ago.
she is a sweetheart, and she didn't want to tell us because she was thinking that it would make people feel bad.
she is feeling very bad, that's forsure.
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evita
So sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts will be with you during this sad time.
Much love,
Eva