Posts by EvilForce

4

Need advice

by tsunami_rid3r in

jw
friends

17, getting ready to go to college, and i want out of this religion.

i'm also going to prom with a girl who just wants to be friends or something.

but i'd really like a relationship b/c i never really had one.

Well if you just have fun and it goes a little too far, and then she feels guilty... you will be away at college getting sucked back to deal with that.

At college you will be free to indulge your sexual drive and or relationship desire to your hearts content. Hang in there.

But each one must make his own way. I am only giving you advice from my own experience at your age :)

Some life lessons can't be taught. And some no- no's turn out to be the best decisions you ever made.

35

control

by John Doe in

jw
friends

firt of all, a bit of background.

i'm 26 years old, am a math major/english minor senior on a full scholarhip in college, was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, babtized when i was 18, left at ~ 22/23, am now agnostic/deist/confused.

i was raised on a farm in a witness family.

EvilForce

Well keep working on the Spanish...but a word of warning... the meds you may be taking may take a little time to get used to with your short term memory. This may make Spanish a little more difficult...so don't think you are "going crazy" if that happens. It's a small ratio of side effects so you may not notice...but just in case :)

4

Need advice

by tsunami_rid3r in

jw
friends

17, getting ready to go to college, and i want out of this religion.

i'm also going to prom with a girl who just wants to be friends or something.

but i'd really like a relationship b/c i never really had one.

EvilForce

Wow tsunami.... you like playing with fire!!!

If you get wrapped up with these JW's you will only create more drama for yourself. If you are trying to just get away...go to college and live your life...do not get involved with any witnesses, it will only bring you grief. By going to school you can do the slow fade so you don't get DF'd and continue to have a relationship with your family. Besides you need their financial support no?. But I have a feeling you will not take my advice :)

35

control

by John Doe in

jw
friends

firt of all, a bit of background.

i'm 26 years old, am a math major/english minor senior on a full scholarhip in college, was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, babtized when i was 18, left at ~ 22/23, am now agnostic/deist/confused.

i was raised on a farm in a witness family.

EvilForce

John,

We all must find our own way. If you find this site to be negative or unhealthy for you in any way you should limit or eliminate you contact. But you seem to think that people here are more judgemental than the Witnesses themselves. In my posts above I asked you to consider other points of view.

If someone called you lazy...taking 18 credits and working 3 jobs....they need to be smacked. I worked my way thru med school and 18 credits + any job at all is overwhelming....how you can work at all taking 18 hours is amazing. For anyone who hasn't been to college the ratio of homework to hours is usually 2 to 3 hours per 1 hour of class. So if you are taking 15 hours that is 30 to 45 hours of study on top of the 15 hours of class. Plus work. It's alot. You have my respect John.

29

No more TM school review?

by toreador in

.

thats what i heard, is it true that there is no more theocratic ministry school review?

.

EvilForce

That was one of the fun activities we actually had. Making fun, snide remarks and answers in the "tests".

35

control

by John Doe in

jw
friends

firt of all, a bit of background.

i'm 26 years old, am a math major/english minor senior on a full scholarhip in college, was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, babtized when i was 18, left at ~ 22/23, am now agnostic/deist/confused.

i was raised on a farm in a witness family.

EvilForce

John,

I know when I first started my doubting of the religion it was a difficult thing. It is like you can't believe anything anyone tells you and any organized religion is bunk because of your bad experience of your youth.

I am a doctor and can tell you from my own experience "YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH FIRST AND FOREMOST". It sounds like you have taken an important first step with getting some medication and seeing a doctor. Good for you. I neglected my mental health for many years by working 100 hour weeks...taking on the world....and just "pushing" thru my depression.

Because of my sexuality I tried so hard for God to fix me. I remember when I was 12, 13 and 14 having an interest in boys and feeling ashamed and dirty because of it. I got baptized at 16 and swore off any sexual contact of any sort. I went almost 18 months without masterbating. I prayed EVERY morning when I woke up...when i went to bed...and many times in between. I went to high school and auxillary pioneered. I went to every meeting. I got lots of responsibilites in the Congo. I just wanted my "gay" feelings to go away. I was told over and over that praying would help. I did everything in my power to make these feelings go away. I was an early bloomer and had full sexual development by about 13.... so not having sex or masterbating at 16 was a huge burden. I HATED myself. Apparently God hated me too cause he didn't fix me. I did everything he asked me to and everything the WTS said to do. I went 4 years from baptism before I gave in and had sex with another boy. I got tired of feeling worthless and alone.

I couldn't tell my parents or witness friends what I was going thru because they'd turn me in and I'd get booted out. I saw this happen to a good friend of mine going thru the same thing. This was the start of the end for my believing. Why would God make me with these feelings? I wasn't abused as a boy....I wasn't sexualized at an early age... it was who I was to the very core.

So, if you need someone to talk to drop me a line and I'll give you my phone #....

Hang in there things will get better I promise :)

25

Cell phones.....

by lavendar in

jw
friends

i was talking with my jw relative, and the topic of cell phones briefly came up.

i got the impression she thought they were "evil" or something.

are jws taught that cell phones, pagers, etc.

EvilForce

There was an elder meeting with the CO's about this matter about 18 years ago when cordless phones were kind of a new thing and were not very secure. But as the post above about aluminium above...these things never die. Tell a Jo Ho once not to do something and for crying out loud it becomes the 11th commandment. The aluminium was from the 1920's and people are still holding to that?!?

35

control

by John Doe in

jw
friends

firt of all, a bit of background.

i'm 26 years old, am a math major/english minor senior on a full scholarhip in college, was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, babtized when i was 18, left at ~ 22/23, am now agnostic/deist/confused.

i was raised on a farm in a witness family.

EvilForce

John Doe,

Welcome and thanks for your personal story. I think for a long while I felt as you do. I think everyone on here will agree that there are some really awesome, loving Witnesses and not all Witnesses are mindless drones.

I left 15 years ago without much drama...did the slow fade and moved across the country to get away from it all. I thought for lots of years people writing books, being on this board and such shoud "just move on with life". I thought haven't the Witnesses caused enough damage in your life why waste any more time / effort relating to this???

If you read some of the stories on here you will see that most were not treated in the same, loving manner you were...according to your story. Most were tossed aside and stomped on. As an elder's son, and being around the "truth" growing up I did see quite a bit of unloving activity.....or at least can identify it now that I'm older.

I only started reading this site and whatnot when after 15 years of not being to a meeting on a regular basis a couple of things happened. An elder called me out of the blue for some "wrongdoing" I did 17 years prior. This wasn't the first time I was called. I got called a few times before that about some "wrongdoing" I supposedly knew something about. It was about 6 years after not being to a meeting an elder found out I was in town visiting my parents and called me and the first thing he said is "What do you know about So and So's sexual activity from 1992?" Not how are you. Not any niceties.

I only wanted to be left alone. I don't belief what the Witnesses preach. Just let me be. I don't care about ANYTHING going on...why are you bothering me about something I supposedly did when I was 20 ?!? My parents from time to time would tell me smugly that so and so's son / daughter were getting divorced, being DF"d, got pregnant, and I'd have to keep telling them I couldn't care less much less barely remember some of these people.

But the final straw was when last fall my parents wanted to quote scripture at me about my lifestyle. I am gay. They had laid in wait and ambushed me with scripture. Now I had reconciled my lifestyle with biblical teachings many, many years ago. My parents treated my boyfriends and what not like pink elephants in the room. If we don't talk about them it doesn't exist. I always bit my tongue around them and never, ever said what I thought of their beliefs because I always thought "Hey it ain't for me why shake someone else's belief system." During this ambush they asked me how I couldn't believe it was the "troof". I told them I thought the blood issue was bunk, 1914 was idiotic, and the flip flopping of the end of the system from the WTS was unbelievable. They of course gave me the "God hasn't changed his time frame etc..., etc" Some of the things they told me too just blew me away. I had been away for so long they have "whitewashed" their old teachings yet again. Well I remember what they used to preach, and brought these points up to them. They didn't remember these teachings somehow....

So now my elder brother in law is trying also to prohibit my brother from seeing my nieces. His crime? He lived with his girlfriend for a few months 2 years ago. They aren't seeing each other anymore and he is single. Keep in mind that he has not set foot in a KH in 6 1/2 years! So the WTS just won't let me be. Ok, FINE, BRING IT ON! I have begun my research for my book I'm writing.

But I digress.... So John some people need to vent on here to feel like they aren't the only crazy ones who got sucked in. To have people understand what it's like being on the outside. Also, I would say that a fair bit of the posts on here were written tongue in cheek, and the people who wrote them not really that bitter in real life. Everyone deals with leaving "high control" groups differently. So while it may not be for you, please respect the outlet for others. Also, you may be like me.... At some point you may circle around to this and need a site / people like this.

But good for you in your life search and your confidence in your life plan. It sounds like you have had a very tough life and have become a "diamond" in the rough from the tribulations you have suffered. May you find every happiness your heart desires :)