i am no longer a witness.
i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.
i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.
JamesT -
Thank you. I think I have self-trust - that's what allowed me to use the filing cabinet. But this is self-trust at another level - after being instructed on the proper way to worship for a lifetime, it's a little scary to accept the responsibility for yourself. While I feel up to the challenge, it's nice having the JWD family to share the journey with!
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what do most ex jws become, christian, athiest/agnostic or some other religion?
and since we all need to be labelled, what do i call myself now?
Those whose intellect compelled them out are generally very cautious about being fooled again and develope an affinity for the self correcting scientific approach to life.
That's me .... "very cautious about being fooled again"
I've posed this same question to the board - I still don't have an answer - I'm leaning towards the "why do I feel it so necessary to have a label" position. But I realizing it's hard to let go of the need ....
after reading the responses to amazing1914's recent post, i decided this would be a great thread to start.
please share some of your memories!.
when my mother first became a jw, i was very sporatic with meeting attendance.
I guess I was a rule follower. Since my mother wasn't a witness, I wasn't pressured into service and meeting attendance - I went when I wanted to. I wasn't really into service - but I went to all the meetings.
As for birthdays, halloween, etc. - I knew they were wrong, so I didn't participate. I was always afraid of displeasing God by joining in - so even though I could have, I didn't.
I had friends in the congregation and we hung out and had fun. I started dating my husband when I was 14 - he was 18. My mother (remember, not a witness) fell in love with him immediately and trusted us not to do anything wrong since we were witnesses! And of course, we were perfectly obedient. For two years. Then it became interesting .... (that's for another thread!)
Anyway, I guess the difference is whether you are choosing your way of life or if you are being forced into it! I have no one to blame for the years I spend following the GB's direction, but me. Now, I choose not to!
i am ex pioneer, ex ministerial serpent not been near a kh in 6 years, smoke, drink had a live in gf until recently, but not dfd, so much for keeping the cong clean!
still, none of my "brothers" with a couple of exceptions, speaks to me now, their way of trying to win me back perhaps?
not that it'd work - i am happy now after 10 years of bs from people who ought to know better but don't
none of my "brothers" with a couple of exceptions, speaks to me now
..... and your complaint is?
No, seriously - are they treating you like you're disfellowshipped - meaning they look you in your face and don't speak, or are they not calling you on the phone and hanging out like they used to?
If it's the first, you have a right to be angry - and I'd say "hey, hi - cat got your tongue?" everytime I saw one of them. If it's the second, then what really do you want to hang out with them and talk about? Consider it a blessing - you're free!
a few days ago i had the privilege of being invited to a regular pioneer's birthday party.
i met her a couple of weeks ago, and even though she knows i am inactive and have serious doubts, we hit it off on a social level.
so that's why i was invited... .
I started studying with the witnesses when I was 8 - my parents were divorced and neither was a witness. I lived with my mother who stopped celebrating anything because I was studying and then baptized (at 13). My dad continued celebrating with his new family, but never pressured me to join them.
When I was 14, I went over my bestfriend's house (who's family was witnesses - Dad a MS) and saw on the kitchen table a birthday card. I was shocked! Actually, I was scandalized! They tried to blow it off like it wasn't really anything, but I can still remember how I was blown away by it. Her mother told me they weren't "celebrating" the kids birthdays, but they were just acknowledging it! I remember thinking - Huh???
But the biggest shock was a story my husband told me about. At a district convention about 10 years ago, he was behind the stage when an elder in our congregation gave another elder in our congregation (who was the convention overseer) a birthday card! They laughed and showed it around and continued on with the program like it happenned all the time! I remember thinking THESE are the ones setting the example for the flock! Yikes!
many of the people on this site say that they are apostates.
but that is not the way i feel about myself.. i am not angry with the "witnesses" or the organisation, i don't feel that i wasted my life.
i just think that i was stupid to believe it for 30 years (well sort of believe it, i did have severe doubts on and off).
JeanieBeans -
I think it's more than just the matter of the dictionary definition, because dictionary definitions (and secular meanings) change from year to year. Easy examples are the words: gay, mouse, phat (fat), dope, bitching, and even the "n" word. I remember as a child looking that up and it said "ignorant". That definition could have applied to anyone of any color. Today, the dictionary says, "a taboo term for a black person." Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
The WBTS says an apostate is someone who tries to turn others away from their former beliefs. Since I don't make it a practice to actively pursue others and show them the error of their ways, I don't consider myself an apostate by their standards. But by dictionary standards, I am.
i am no longer a witness.
i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.
i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.
It's not that I have a problem letting go of the dogma or the oppression, it's this: Fundamentally, I've always believed that if God does want us to worship him, then it is reasonable to think that he would let us know how he wanted to be worshiped. That said, it would then be our responsibility to find the way and follow it.
Over the years we all develop our own little cliches and one of mine was that I wanted to worship God the right way and that to date, no one had ever shown me that what I was doing was wrong, and until such time as I found out it was wrong, then I would do it. Well, the day came that I found out that it was wrong, but my fundamental desire to do what God wants of me hasn't changed. The real problem is that now I no longer have an organization telling me HOW to worship and it's really scarry taking the chance that I may not get it right on my own!
many of the people on this site say that they are apostates.
but that is not the way i feel about myself.. i am not angry with the "witnesses" or the organisation, i don't feel that i wasted my life.
i just think that i was stupid to believe it for 30 years (well sort of believe it, i did have severe doubts on and off).
I started a thread once entitled "non-practicing JW" - I guess in reality I'm just as easily a "non-practicing apostate"
I've always believed that as free moral agents, we have not only the ability but the right to choose for ourselves what we want to do with our lives - and if someone chose NOT to be a JW, then we should respect that choice. That's the choice I've made - I no longer wish to practice the religion of the WBTS. My choice - my free will. Does that make me an apostate? Some practicing JWs may think so, but I don't. I'm not interested in convincing any of them to change their minds any more than I was really interested in going door-to-door trying to convince the world that they should jump onboard.
Ultimately, it's their label - and since I don't feel the need to live up to their standards anymore, they can put it on me if they want - it really doesn't matter to me.
i am no longer a witness.
i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.
i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.
Daystar - I must tell you that I find that whole Secular Humanism thing very interesting. Without giving it a name or knowing it existed, I've always felt that it was possible to BE a good person and lead a moral life WITHOUT being a JW. I never bought the whole "the rest of the world is bad" syndrome.
But the idea of setting limits based on authority is my obstacle. By what authority do we decide what is right or wrong once we leave the org? Obviously, the bible is the ultimate guide - or is it? Talk about questioning everything! After abandoning the witness dogma of the 144,000 and the new system, what then is our purpose in life? Now honestly, I don't really need a purpose beyond my life - being the mother of 4 rapidly mobile children is purposeful enough! But 20 years from now, when my youngest is 26 and "hopefully" no longer needs me, and I'm sitting here contemplating "the meaning of life" will I be satisfied?
this made me sick when i read it!
it's from the awake july 8/05, the second response.. "my husband and i have tried to have children since shortly after our wedding.
now, years later, we are faced with the issues described in this series.
The last counsel I remember hearing about IVF is that as long as it's the husband's sperm and the wife's egg, it's okay. No surrogacy though!
