Posts by Nellie

22

This really sucksLiving a double life for the sake of family...

by tooktheredpill in

jw
friends

guys: i just need to vent a little.

as you may know, ive been working for a couple of months, trying to make my wife think by herself.

she started to do it, and i noticed it when she started arguing with her parents about some wt policies some weeks ago.

Nellie

RedPill & Scotts -

I was once that wife with the fading husband. Other than saying to me, over and over, it's only an organization; my husband also couldn't bring himself to trashing the organization to me. I was worried about him (and honestly about us) as I watched him move further and further away from the "truth." Although I always knew he loved me, I worried that w/o the rules of the organization, he might think about cheating or leaving me. I can honestly say that that's what my worst fear was. Everyone's road is different. My advice to you is simple - YOU MUST MAKE SURE SHE IS SECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! She'll fight you tooth and nail to stay in if she thinks she's losing you!!! She'll run to the elders for help as she sees you pulling away. Now is the time to reassure her! If she's secure, she'll be able to hear you . . . eventually. Even if she doesn't agree, she'll be able to hear you.

34

Hello, Newbie here

by disillusionedandscared in

jw
friends

goodevening all.

i am new here and thought i would introduce myself.

this is my official first post on this board.

Nellie

Welcome Honey! Great to hear you and your husband are on the same page. Me and mine went through this together also - although for different reasons. I'm happy to report that you can have a happy marriage on the other side!

Anyway... a couple of notes: Take some time and read a few posts (even older ones) especially about topics that interest you. I'd make sure to include a few on the UN situation and the blood issue. Then ask your own. Then when you're ready, go buy Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. Yes, the Governing Body member who was disfellowshipped. His book really gives you an inside look at all that is the Governing Body - truly eye opening!

Oh yeah, one more thing . . . be prepared for the amount of time you'll spend here. There's a wealth of information! Welcome again!

15

My jw brother wants to be my facebook friend lol

by free2think in

jw
friends

ok so im starting to think that maybe, just maybe facebook and i arent meant to be friends.

since ive joined i keep having old jw friends finding me on there.

which is fine because i just deny their friendship, we weren't that good friends anyway.. anywho i just logged on to find that my brother has now sent me a friend request.

Nellie

I take it that you're not officially out. If you and your df'd friends don't regularly trash the org - it may be an opportunity for him to see them as regular people. But then again, if you think he'll just go tattling, he probably will.

28

How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?

by Nellie in

i just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.

we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.

she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.

Nellie

Drew, I agree. After you truly decide to move on, it's kind of scary. You have to start making your own choices about what you will or won't do! The safety net is gone. I remember the first October I considered letting my kids go out on Halloween. Before I made the decision I did research on it - What really is Halloween all about? I asked neighbors and friends who were Christians (of various faiths) how they thought about it and why. Then I decided that I wanted to do it. I decided that the image and "truth" about what I had been taught, wasn't in fact factual.

I now make a conscience effort to examine every decision to make sure that I'm not super-imposing what I "thought I knew" with the reality. It takes a while, but it's nice being able to explore who I really am and who I want to be.

28

How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?

by Nellie in

i just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.

we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.

she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.

Nellie

TIME TO EMBRACE THE WORLD AGAIN WITH ALL ITS TROUBLES AND TRY TO CONTRIBUTE AND HELP IT IN SOME WAY. THIS IS OUR DUTY AND COMMISSION AS CARING HUMANS.

Now THAT is a powerful statement and one that I wholeheartedly agree with! I have 2 goals in life . . . 1 - to raise my children to be kind, loving, spiritual, upstanding members of society and 2 - to try to make my world a better place. I'm not trying to save the world . . . just make my little portion of it a little bit better. I wasn't being true to those goals as a witness. I absolutely did not want to pass on the hangups and prejudices I saw other witness parents instilling in their children! And I didn't believe that the future new system negated our responsibility to be proactive in helping our current world. After all - none of us were guaranteed survival or resurrection, right? Why not do your best now, while hoping for the future.

Anyway that's all behind me now. I've left. And I grieve for those others who've left and yet haven't really. There's an old saying: "Shit or get off the bowl" . . . well if you've gotten off the bowl, why are you still squatting? You owe it to yourself to stand up and walk away!

28

How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?

by Nellie in

i just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.

we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.

she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.

Nellie

She disassociated herself because she felt she couldn't live up to the requirements and didn't want to be a hypocrite. But today she says, she STILL has to decide between living the life she wants (which doesn't conform to the requirements of the organization) and being obedient to the "truth."

48

what have jws got against beards ?

by looloo in

and it really used to annoy me that jesus and john the baptist both had such neat and well trimmed beards in the watchtower literature , how unlikley would that be in reality ?

also they never wore a suit so why do "true christians "have to wear one , is all about appearences by any chance and giving a false impression ?

Nellie

Terry said it all!

28

How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?

by Nellie in

i just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.

we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.

she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.

Nellie

I just got off the phone with my sister-in-law. We don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs. She's DA'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses. I left because I no longer believe - I have no guilt. It made me start thinking about this. How many others are like her out there? Do you have guilt? Has this forum helped you deal with it?

20

Being known on JWD - unable to discuss VERY personal matters.

by kwintestal in

for some time now, my wife and i have met various people on jwd and we've developped close friendships with many of them over the years.

we have family members who post on here as well.

believe me, i wouldn't lose these relationships for the world.

Nellie

How about just creating an "alter ego"?

54

How many of you Ex Jehovah's Witnesses married early and it was a disaster?

by isnrblog in

jw
friends

what a common tale.

you marry early becasue you can't have sex.. i was married at 19 and divorced at 50. the only thing that held it together was our involvement in the jw's.

otherwise it would have been over in less than 5 years.. my kids are not witnesses and have a terrible relationship with their mother, as she is always trying to shove it down their throats.. this is still happening.

Nellie

Married 2 months shy of my 19th birthday and will celebrate our 26th in a few months!

Through the years I attributed our ability to weather the storm to the fact that we were both faithful witnesses. Now that we've both left the organization, I realize that it is more a testiment to our characters and less due to fear of disfellowshiping.

I'm happy to report that we're happy and OUT.