Posts by Nellie

81

Do you think of yourself as an apostate

by barbar in

many of the people on this site say that they are apostates.

but that is not the way i feel about myself.. i am not angry with the "witnesses" or the organisation, i don't feel that i wasted my life.

i just think that i was stupid to believe it for 30 years (well sort of believe it, i did have severe doubts on and off).

Nellie

JeanieBeans -

I think it's more than just the matter of the dictionary definition, because dictionary definitions (and secular meanings) change from year to year. Easy examples are the words: gay, mouse, phat (fat), dope, bitching, and even the "n" word. I remember as a child looking that up and it said "ignorant". That definition could have applied to anyone of any color. Today, the dictionary says, "a taboo term for a black person." Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

The WBTS says an apostate is someone who tries to turn others away from their former beliefs. Since I don't make it a practice to actively pursue others and show them the error of their ways, I don't consider myself an apostate by their standards. But by dictionary standards, I am.

49

Ok we've left the Org - Now what?

by Nellie in

i am no longer a witness.

i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.

i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.

Nellie

It's not that I have a problem letting go of the dogma or the oppression, it's this: Fundamentally, I've always believed that if God does want us to worship him, then it is reasonable to think that he would let us know how he wanted to be worshiped. That said, it would then be our responsibility to find the way and follow it.

Over the years we all develop our own little cliches and one of mine was that I wanted to worship God the right way and that to date, no one had ever shown me that what I was doing was wrong, and until such time as I found out it was wrong, then I would do it. Well, the day came that I found out that it was wrong, but my fundamental desire to do what God wants of me hasn't changed. The real problem is that now I no longer have an organization telling me HOW to worship and it's really scarry taking the chance that I may not get it right on my own!

81

Do you think of yourself as an apostate

by barbar in

many of the people on this site say that they are apostates.

but that is not the way i feel about myself.. i am not angry with the "witnesses" or the organisation, i don't feel that i wasted my life.

i just think that i was stupid to believe it for 30 years (well sort of believe it, i did have severe doubts on and off).

Nellie

I started a thread once entitled "non-practicing JW" - I guess in reality I'm just as easily a "non-practicing apostate"

I've always believed that as free moral agents, we have not only the ability but the right to choose for ourselves what we want to do with our lives - and if someone chose NOT to be a JW, then we should respect that choice. That's the choice I've made - I no longer wish to practice the religion of the WBTS. My choice - my free will. Does that make me an apostate? Some practicing JWs may think so, but I don't. I'm not interested in convincing any of them to change their minds any more than I was really interested in going door-to-door trying to convince the world that they should jump onboard.

Ultimately, it's their label - and since I don't feel the need to live up to their standards anymore, they can put it on me if they want - it really doesn't matter to me.

49

Ok we've left the Org - Now what?

by Nellie in

i am no longer a witness.

i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.

i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.

Nellie

Daystar - I must tell you that I find that whole Secular Humanism thing very interesting. Without giving it a name or knowing it existed, I've always felt that it was possible to BE a good person and lead a moral life WITHOUT being a JW. I never bought the whole "the rest of the world is bad" syndrome.

But the idea of setting limits based on authority is my obstacle. By what authority do we decide what is right or wrong once we leave the org? Obviously, the bible is the ultimate guide - or is it? Talk about questioning everything! After abandoning the witness dogma of the 144,000 and the new system, what then is our purpose in life? Now honestly, I don't really need a purpose beyond my life - being the mother of 4 rapidly mobile children is purposeful enough! But 20 years from now, when my youngest is 26 and "hopefully" no longer needs me, and I'm sitting here contemplating "the meaning of life" will I be satisfied?

10

From our Readers - re Infertility

by Bumble Bee in

this made me sick when i read it!

it's from the awake july 8/05, the second response.. "my husband and i have tried to have children since shortly after our wedding.

now, years later, we are faced with the issues described in this series.

Nellie

The last counsel I remember hearing about IVF is that as long as it's the husband's sperm and the wife's egg, it's okay. No surrogacy though!

55

An End To Shunning

by Sunspot in

well, in my case anyway.

for those of you that may recall my posts about my family and that after i left the wts, how i wrote long (and painful) letters to my nonjw children among others.

i had tried to explain why i had shunned them and how very sorry i was, and for all the mistakes i had made throughout their childhoods as a jw mother.

Nellie

For years, one of my favorite sayings is "where there's life, there's hope."

Thank God your son found the strength to forgive before it was too late. Thank God you lived long enough to be on the receiving end of his love again!

Enjoy!

49

Ok we've left the Org - Now what?

by Nellie in

i am no longer a witness.

i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.

i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.

Nellie

Wow! Thanks everybody for your insightful comments - I knew they would be!

To answer Defd's question regarding why I left - I have used the analogy of a filing cabinet in my mind & heart. For years (and I mean many years) as I sat at meetings listening to either direction or comments, there were many that I did not accept as correct. I would open the filing cabinet and put it away and not address it. As I started getting older, it became increasingly difficult to close the file draw. As it sat there ajar, I began thinking about the issues inside and questioned why I was associated with a religion called the "Truth" when I clearly identified many issues in my heart as "not true." This site is full of examples of those untruths - some of which I wasn't even aware of until I started exploring here! Eventually, my conscience could no longer allow my God-given sensibilities to allow me to continue.

Unlike many, my experience in the cong is probably better than most here. It wasn't the people or an experience that drove me away - it was my own inner meter of right and wrong. My ultimate goal is to pass this meter onto my children.

37

Inactive ones - new light.

by unique1 in

i didn't go to the district convention this year.

my mom however did and she sends out a daily text email every day.

she asked all members of the email group to share their favorite part of the convention.

Nellie

No one's called me!

49

Ok we've left the Org - Now what?

by Nellie in

i am no longer a witness.

i've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends.

i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but i'm not dad or dfd.

Nellie

I am no longer a witness. I've told all my worldly friends and my immediate family - my kids have told their friends. i haven't been to a meeting in over a year (and have no desire to go to one) - but I'm not DAd or DFd. I very rarely see congregation members in the community, but when I do they're friendly and speak and I'm cool with that. No one is pressuring or asking anything - surprise, surprise!

But last week my sister called (she lives nearby and is still attending meetings, with one foot on a banana peel). During the call, she mentioned that even though we're not going to meetings anymore, I should still be instructing my children spiritually. I agreed - but then I started thinking.... besides the basic belief in God and Christ, and the principles of good and bad, what do I teach them? What concepts of the truth (if any) do I still believe? Will there be a new system? What about the 144,000? Should we go to "church"?

What are you doing or not doing?

27

Seeker4's 500th Post - My letter to the Elders (2nd Posting)

by Seeker4 in

jw
friends

here's the letter i wrote to the body of elders i served with for decades, when they invited me to a judicial committee meeting two months ago.

i have not heard a word from them since i wrote this.

i posted this monday night (may 30, 2005) to celebrate my 500th post, but it ended up in the "heated debates" section, when i intended it to go in this area.

Nellie

WOW! AWESOME! COURAGEOUS!

Somewhere there is a Theocratic Ministry School Teacher who is beaming with pride! Well thought out, articulate, concise, honest, witty, respectful, kind, yet properly sarcastic.

If I can have your permission to plagerize should the need every present itself - I will gladly memorize a few of those responses!

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