Posts by Caole

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

Ummm...just to clarify...I'm usually a lurker by nature on these messageboards, not just a lurker by nature

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

Hi Waiting! Thanks for the warm welcome I'm usually a lurker by nature, but can't resist sharing a funny once in awhile.

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

When Ole moved up north he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of all Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbecuing venison every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole, eventually persuading him to join their church.

The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!". Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy, but the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again that aroma of grilled deer steaks coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this, and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying:

"You were born a whitetail, you were raised a whitetail, and now," he said as he sprinkled seasoning salt over the choice tenderloin cut, "now you are a walleye!"

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

Thanks seven....here's a couple more that I like:

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. They could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes they came to another intersection. The light was red, and again they went right through.

This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through it.

She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us."

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, Shit! Am I driving?"

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

A well-dressed elderly gentleman boarded the subway, moved to the back of the car, and sat reading his Wall Street Journal.

At the next stop, a young man clad entirely in black leather boarded the train. His hair was a bright yellow mohawk with a three-foot long
ponytail dyed bright blue. Through his nose was a bone, and a large feather earring dangled from his left ear.

The older man looked over his paper and surveyed the younger man from head to toe with a quizzical look on his face.

"What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your younger days?", the young man asked.

"Actually," the older man replied, "when I was about your age, I had sex with a parrot, and I was thinking you might be my son."

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

An Irish girl went to London to work as a secretary and began sending
home money and gifts to her parents. After a few years, they asked her
to come home for a visit as her father was getting frail and elderly.
She pulled up to the family home in a Rolls Royce and stepped out
wearing fur and diamonds.

As she walked into the house her father said, "Hmmm - they seem to be
paying secretaries awfully well in London."

The girl took his hands and said, "Dad - I've been meaning to tell you
something for years but I didn't want to put it in a letter. I can't
hide it from you any longer. I've become a prostitute."

Her father gasped, put his hand on his heart and keeled over. The doctor was called but the old man had clearly lost the will to live. He was put to bed and the priest was called.

As the priest began to administer Extreme Unction, with the mother and
daughter weeping and wailing, the old man muttered weakly, "I'm a goner - killed by my own daughter! Killed by the shame of what you've become!"

"Please forgive me," his daughter sobbed, "I only wanted to have nice
things! I wanted to be able to send you money and the only way I could
do it was by becoming a prostitute."

Brushing the priest aside, the old man sat bolt upright in bed, smiling. "Did you say prostitute? That was a close one - I thought you said Protestant!"

22

How far has America come?

by Mulan in

jw
friends

this was sent to me today.

i thought it was an interesting statement on how far america has come.

) sorry it's kind of jumbled.

Caole

Hi Mulan,

Here's a site that lists emails of this type, and identifies whether it is a hoax or not:

http://www.snopes2.com/inboxer/

This one seems to be true(it's under the moral outrage section).

18

Theif gets 200yrs......only in the USA!

by ISP in

jw
friends

yeah 200 yrs sounds a tad excessive..................but things are bigger and better in the us.....i guess it works for sentences as well.. sacramento, calif. (ap) -- a man who used tiger woods' identity to steal $17,000 worth of goods was sentenced to 200 years-to-life in prison.

anthony lemar taylor was convicted of falsely obtaining a driver's license using the name eldrick t. woods, woods' social security number and his birth date.

though he looks nothing like golf's best player, the 30-year-old taylor then used the false identification and credit cards to buy a 70-inch tv, stereos and a used luxury car between august 1998 and august 1999. .

Caole

I think we should all fart on him til he's dead.

I'm afraid that would be in violation of the 8th Amendment to the Constitution...you know...that cruel and unusual punishment thing.