Hey Waiting...great seeing you again! I was just going through some old(very old) email files, and have been finding a few jokes to share...stop me if you've heard these before(I'll try not to post the really wicked ones) I hope all is well with you and yours Take care Waiting!
Posts by Caole
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37Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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Caole
Just a few deep thoughts .....by Steven Wright:
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans.
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why
don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the
mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
are the OTHERS here for?
Clones are people two.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be..
Think "honk" if you're telepathic.
So what's the speed of dark?
How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who
has been dissing them anyhow?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above
me are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? -
37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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Caole
{{{Seven}}} A chat sounds great! Maybe we can get a few or the crew together soon(when everyone's healthy).
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky
Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us
this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If
you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not
change the words."
So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the
Colonel panics, and calls again.
"Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50
million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give
us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church
could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support
many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and
I can't change the words."
So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales
the Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If
you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our
daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100
million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says,
"I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that
KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account." -
37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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Caole
A few that have slid down the board a little....
Waiting's Never-Ending joke thread is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=2942&site=3
Bugeye's joke thread is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=5267&site=3
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37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
-
-
-
37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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Caole
Seven...lol @ tali-tubby Pssst...I've been checking out main a little bit...guess who's here(sometimes)...Sunspot
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My beautiful sister......
by Tatiana intoday is the anniversary of my only sister's suicide four years ago.
she was 38. i've had a candle lit for her all day long.
i've been playing her favorite songs...livin' on a prayer by bon jovi.
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Caole
(((April))) I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lit a candle for Kelly as well.
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37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
-
-
-
37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
-
-
Caole
Wise Advise From Kids
1.Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
2.When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Micheal, 14
3.Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Micael, 14
4.Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
5.Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13
6.Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronna, 13
7.Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10
8.When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11
9.Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci 14
10.Don't sneeze in front of your mom when you're eating crackers. - Mitchell, 12
11.Puppies still have bad breath aven after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9
12.Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9
13.You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9
14.Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. Kellie, 11
15.If you want a kitten. Start out by asking for a horse. N/A
16.Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
17.Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10
18.When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13
19.Never try to baptize a cat. - Ellen -
37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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Caole
Long ago, there lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt." The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the bright frock, he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt, and once again vanquished the pirates.
That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of them asked the captain: "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"
The captain replied: "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid." All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout once again spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain, and waited for his usual reply.
Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship, and turned and shouted: "Get me my brown pants."