Caole

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Posts by Caole

• 
  24

  A Warning To All CAT Owners!

  by Seven in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  Caole

  Hey Seven!(cute toon) Fred's response? Probably none...too busy napping
  

  or in the shower
  
• 
  1

  Laughter is the Best Medicine, allright!

  by LDH in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i know there is a thread similar to this one from many months ago but i couldn't find it.

  so i'm just starting this one, just for gozz.please include relevant song titles.. the truth=the spoof or the troof.

  wbts= witchpower babble and trick sicksiety (courtesy of lovesdubs).

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  Caole

  Hey LDH! I think this is the thread you were looking for : http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=13255&site=3#159375
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  37

  Never Ending Jokes - Part II

  by waiting in

  1. social
  2. humour

  oops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.

  seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.

  the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?

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  Caole

  Gwen met Randy at a nightclub. They hit it off, so she invited him back to her place. When they arrived at her house, they went right for the bedroom. Randy noticed hundreds of stuffed animals scattered throughout the room. Giant stuffed animals sat on top of the wardrobe. Slightly smaller stuffed animals sat on the window sill. Many tiny stuffed animals sat on the bottom shelf of her bookcase. After they had sex, Randy turned to her and said, "So ... how was I?" "Well," Gwen said, "you can take anything from the bottom shelf."
• 
  37

  Never Ending Jokes - Part II

  by waiting in

  1. social
  2. humour

  oops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.

  seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.

  the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Caole

  A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
  
  The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
  
  Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
  
  The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
• 
  37

  Never Ending Jokes - Part II

  by waiting in

  1. social
  2. humour

  oops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.

  seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.

  the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Caole

  Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden the driver notices lights flashing in his mirror...the cops are on his tail. His buddy says, "What are we going to do?" The driver says, "Don't worry. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, peel the labels off our beer bottles and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Then shove the bottles underneath the seat, and let me do the talking."
  
  They pull over and the cop walks up to the car. He looks at them kind of funny, but asks to see the guy's driver's license. And he asks him, "Have you been drinking?"
  
  "Oh, no, sir," the driver replies.
  
  "I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you *sure* you haven't been drinking?" the cop asks.
  
  "Oh, no, sir," the drunk answers. "We haven't had a thing to drink tonight."
  
  "Well, I've got to ask you," says the cop, "What on earth are those things on your forehead?"
  
  "That's easy, Officer," says the drunk. "You see, we're both alcoholics, and we're on the Patch!"
• 
  37

  Never Ending Jokes - Part II

  by waiting in

  1. social
  2. humour

  oops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.

  seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.

  the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Caole

  A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
  
  "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
  
  "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
  
  "Twenty-six," he said.
• 
  3

  Sunspot

  by Caole in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey sunspot...you may not remember me(it's been a while)...i just wanted to tell you how sorry i am about the loss of your mother and for all you're going through with your family.

  i hope you didn't think i'd forgotten you...i've tried to stay in touch, but my messages wouldn't go through.

  hugs,.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Caole

  Hello again Sunspot! I was sooo happy to see your reply here(I thought I might never hear from you again). I've been wondering how you and your family have been doing for quite some time also. In fact, you're the reason I came to this board

  Did you get the email I sent? I added 59 after your old user name(with no spaces in between). If you didn't get it then somebody else did Let me know if I messed it up, k?

  Well, I've got to get going Give my regards to the family! Talk to you later Sunspot!

  Hugs,
  Caole
• 
  3

  Sunspot

  by Caole in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey sunspot...you may not remember me(it's been a while)...i just wanted to tell you how sorry i am about the loss of your mother and for all you're going through with your family.

  i hope you didn't think i'd forgotten you...i've tried to stay in touch, but my messages wouldn't go through.

  hugs,.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Caole

  Hey Sunspot...You may not remember me(it's been a while)...I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about the loss of your mother and for all you're going through with your family. I hope you didn't think I'd forgotten you...I've tried to stay in touch, but my messages wouldn't go through

  Hugs,
  Caole
• 
  37

  Never Ending Jokes - Part II

  by waiting in

  1. social
  2. humour

  oops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.

  seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.

  the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Caole

  An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman.
  
  After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the East coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them. The farmer replied, "They're all looking to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."
  
  The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion. "Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice..but pigeon-toed,"
  
  The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls, so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went. "Well," the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."
  
  The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "she's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!"
  
  So they were wed right away. Nine months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified, the baby was the ugliest baby you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents. "Well," explained the farmer, "she was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell.....pregnant when you met her."
• 
  37

  Never Ending Jokes - Part II

  by waiting in

  1. social
  2. humour

  oops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.

  seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.

  the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Caole

  The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why
  US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography)...
  
  I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut.
  When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate
  and insisted, "I know it is real, I see people check in every week!
  
  Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair
  wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

  A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all
  the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then
  take the train to Hawaii?
  
  I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain
  the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted
  me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
  Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
  explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her
  response....click.
  
  A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked, "What was
  wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said, "He was expecting an
  ocean-view room." I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
  is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the
  map and Florida is a very thin state."
  
  I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
  Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map.
  
  A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
  flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried
  to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not
  understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went
  very fast, and she bought that!
  
  A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your
  bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who? I said, "No, why do you
  ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a
  tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. Is there any
  connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it,
  (I was actually laughing), I came back and explained the city code for
  Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on
  her luggage.
  
  A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
  computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
  plane. She said,"Yea, whatever."
  
  A woman called to make reservations,"I want to go from Chicago to
  Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
  agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do
  you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back
  with,"I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every airport code in the country
  and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted,"Oh don't
  be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map! The agent scoured a
  map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo,
  do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"