The day after the JC disfellowshipping me I googled JWs and found this site - it was restricted at work so my first post, initially a few pages long and heartbroken, got lost, so it was just a title 'I have just been disfellowshipped'. I didn't make it back for another month and found that a few dozen strangers had offered me consolation and hope, and really touched me. I was still quite the JW at the time and if it wasn't for this site I'd have probably scratched and clawed my way to reinstatement by now, and I'd be deeply miserable.
sass_my_frass
JoinedPosts by sass_my_frass
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39
What 1st made you come to JWD??
by karter inid been out for a few years my wife brought a computer when she was at the meeting one nite i typed in jws here i am today still learning.
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i guess we will look at sites we know something about.
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My Wedding is coming up going to invite parents and siblings what to do????
by zamora251978 inhey guys,.
my wedding is coming up and i am going to invite my mom and my dad and the rest of my siblings.
how should i react when my recently new regular pioneer mother starts pitching a fit????
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sass_my_frass
Firstly congratulations! And welcome to the board, and I hope that you're having heaps of fun planning what's supposed to be a fun day for you. I recommend you think of it this way; the only thing that can really go wrong is that you don't end up getting married. Everything besides that is just frosting, so just let it go and enjoy yourself.
Re siblings: my four siblings didn't come to my wedding, and that did something to me. I knew they wouldn't be there but I was actually expecting to get say a mobile phone text message from them, just quietly wishing me a good day. Nothing. It was such a special day for me and they weren't there even in thought, even as a sibling privately hoping the best for me. That switched something in me; I stopped thinking of them as people who care about me and realised that they're capable of manipulating my attachment to them to their advantage. They will use this emotional blackmail to draw me back, and don't see anything wrong with that. Since that day I have rejected that kind of 'love', and I don't want people who would treat us that way in our lives. I don't think they'll ever understand that what they're doing is achieving the exact opposite of what they were going for.
Re handling your mum: give her something to do with the wedding. She wants to feel involved, and as if her opinion is important. Ask her opinion on things - you don't have to go with her suggestions but it will make her feel valued; just on the details that mums seem to get hung up on; cake, dress, hair, makeup, music, menu, that kind of thing.
My mum has done the flowers for every JW wedding in her circuit for twenty years so it was an easy way to get her into it, although I found that she was far less involved than I thought she would be, and didn't really give a stuff. It turned out a couple of years later that they were upset that my getting married was 'presented to them as a fait accomplis'; I hadn't asked them if I could get married, I just told them I was. I was in my thirties and hadn't lived with them for ten years, but they still wanted a say in my life. It was such a warped situation and the disfellowshipping possibility came up within seconds of my telling them that I was engaged, so there was never an appropriate time for Mr Frass to 'ask for their permission' as people like my parents still consider it necessary. Apparently they didn't really get over that.
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A JW just visited
by sass_my_frass insaturday morning, long weekend = partly inevitable.
i saw them around the corner so had a few minutes to prepare my thoughts, and i got a lone guy in his thirties doing a magazine presentation.
his mags were about world unity so he asked if i thought that mankind will ever unite and i said 'yes absolutely, i think that we're growing, i'm looking forward to it'.
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sass_my_frass
Such a big issue to take up with a stranger on a Saturday morning!
They back walked past the house later on, very, very slowly. Soooooo slowly, just chatting about whatever. Got to kill that time. They're back at the cars now just outside our house, it's 11:30, got their two hours, they're calling it a day. Good on you guys, you really made a difference today.
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apostates at assemblys
by looloo ini was told not to even look at them when i studied, but i did not buy the satan stuff about them and said well what have the watchtower got to worry about if they have the truth and no skeletons in the closet ?
i was quite tempted to speak to them and felt rude and judgemental , what did you used to think about them when you were dubs in the trufff ?
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sass_my_frass
We never get any here in Australia, and I have to admit I think that's a good thing. Even JWs here are too cynical for that to make a difference. The party faithful would just let it feed their persecution complex, and the pretenders would just think they're sad.
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What happens if your DF'ed at the Big A
by sooner7nc inthe question is actually, what does the borg say or think as regards persons who have been df'ed who have shown repentance, but have not been reinstated at the time of the big a, or die in an accident, sudden illness, etc.
while df'ed.
do these persons get raised from the dead, or are they sol because of the vagaries of time and circumstance?
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sass_my_frass
Buzzard bait, from memory. Although there's probably an article that cast a vague 'we don't really know' light on that for the sake of the despairing mothers, like mine.
Hey, only last year I thought that if I was say, diagnosed with something terminal, I'd make an effort at pretending to get reinstated for the sake of my mum - so that she could grow old and die happy thinking that I'd be resurrected into paradise. These days I think that she is going to have to just live with it. Now, is that selfish, or healthy personal growth on my part? I can't tell any more.
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HOW can a Jdub accept BLOOD FRACTIONS?? hmm?
by martinwellborne ini thought the main thing with the blood issue was that it was to be viewed from god's point of view.
not that it would be up to individual choice and conscience.
my point that i am trying to get to is this, how can a jdub accept blood fractions if they want to view blood in the same light as god would.. am i making this clear?
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sass_my_frass
My mum thinks that blood fractions come from horse blood! The presiding overseer in her congregation has his own little cult following - he has a presence (parousia?) that people mistake for medical training. When we shows up at a hospital wearing a suit and being rude to the nurses he gives the impression that he does something for a living besides selling vacuum cleaners. He helped set up Australias first hospital liaison committe and they watched as Kaleeya - a private hospital in Perth, went completely blood-free, whatever that means. I think they're just small enough to be thanful for the market for bloodless surgery.
Anyway, a shot of erythropoietin (sp?) costs a few thousand dollars, and requires several hundred blood donations to make up. It's talked about like the magic pill, but they don't talk about where it comes from.
I gave my fifth whole blood donation the other day. I'll bet anything that there is a component of my blood in a Jehovahs Witness right now.
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A JW just visited
by sass_my_frass insaturday morning, long weekend = partly inevitable.
i saw them around the corner so had a few minutes to prepare my thoughts, and i got a lone guy in his thirties doing a magazine presentation.
his mags were about world unity so he asked if i thought that mankind will ever unite and i said 'yes absolutely, i think that we're growing, i'm looking forward to it'.
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sass_my_frass
Saturday morning, long weekend = partly inevitable. I saw them around the corner so had a few minutes to prepare my thoughts, and I got a lone guy in his thirties doing a magazine presentation. His mags were about world unity so he asked if I thought that mankind will ever unite and I said 'yes absolutely, I think that we're growing, I'm looking forward to it'. He said that the mags talk about how God is going to bring it about and I said 'being atheist I don't think God's going to have anything to do with it, but to be honest my mother became a Jehovahs Witness, and it destroyed her life and broke our family apart' (that happens to be true). I should have made him account for that little episode in my familys life, or at least driven the point home with '... so I don't think you guys have the answer to world unity', but I let him go with 'anyway you have yourself a good day'. I think he's forgotten it already.
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My first JW encounter at the door in ages...
by Gregor ini am spending the week at my sons house in seattle to help him while recovering from knee surgery.
i answered the doorbell and it was a young woman by herself.
she read a scripture from james (can't remember) and offered me the a&w.
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sass_my_frass
You did good. I got through to a couple of young men once; I made it about my own personal experience, but all I said was 'My mother became a Jehovahs Witness and it ruined her life and split our family apart' (that happens to be true). They don't need to know that I was one myself, and if they did it would warp their opinion of my opinion. It just left them wondering what goes on that splits a family apart.
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Dating a JW and how to get her off the cult or becoming a member myself
by svennibenni ini'm sorry if i'm totally wrong here but i have a serious problem.. i met a woman in the company i work in via intranet.
it is a very big company with offices all over the world.
she moved to the united kingdom just a few month before we met.
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sass_my_frass
Hey bro; we get somebody in your situation here every week or so - you could look up your compatriots in the 'relationships' forum or there's a thread with the best of them on the 'best of' forum. There has been much great advice given on this in the past and if you don't hear what you want to hear on your own thread, look up those that came before you.
My personal experience: I was a JW, and I broke one non-JWs heart before I worked out I wanted out. The other stayed with me throughout the process, but he never got any guarantees that I'd ever be free from it, he just took the risk. If you can honestly answer to yourself that you'd be okay with not ever being the most important thing in her life (you'll be less important than the meetings, field service, opinion of her family and friends, and of course Jehovah and the elders),
go for it, give it a gostop kidding yourself.I have no idea. I just want to tell you to run away and let her guide her own decisions. There are people here who have been married for half of their lives as witnesses and one member wants to get out. They know that person better than anybody in the world, and they're experts on witness beliefs and fallacies, and they still have no idea how to help them out. That's because the process cannot possibly work if there is an external pressure on the person concerned. If anybody had tried it with me I'd have gone running back in a heartbeat, cut that person off, and not miss a meeting for five years. This is the nature of her attachment. There is nothing you can do. If she thinks she loves it and wants it, you must let her work out for herself why she's wrong. There is no way to tell her.
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sass_my_frass
Whens the last time you saw a pioneer wearing a Chanel suit?