Are your suits uncool enough for that?
sass_my_frass
JoinedPosts by sass_my_frass
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20
I'm in need of some apostatherapy.....
by Quirky1 ini almost feel like going back to the kingdumb hall and need some support to help thru my withdrawal symptoms.......any ideas?
?.
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The Cool Stuff on our New Home JWN
by OUTLAW inthis is the first time,i`ve spent any amount of time,in our new home jwn..one cool fearture i realy like,is the reply section at the bottom of a thread..one less step,to participate on what will be the most popular jw web site in cyber world......
..jwn!
!.................this site is new to us all.....what cool things have you found on jwn?..........................outlaw.
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sass_my_frass
I do love the reply area at the bottom of each thread!
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Want to hear something funny that happened on my bus today ?
by troubled mind ini drive school bus morning , afternoon ,and work at a giftshop/coffee shop in between .. well this afternoon while on the bus route i look back and there is a high school student wearing a full face gas mask !
i ask him , " does my bus stink that bad !
" he starts telling us all about how he wants to always be prepared in case tear gas is ever used at the school .......he said his luck would be a tear gas attack would occur and he will have left his trusty gas mask @ home !
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sass_my_frass
Poor little nutcase.
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Do the resurrected get to have babies?
by sass_my_frass inok obviously a dumb question, for so many reasons, but i need to know what the current doctrine is re the resurrected; last time i looked they were 'as angels' in that they're not able to breed, which solves the population problem of bringing back to life almost everybody who has ever died.
anyway thing is this; my sisters' cancer has been resolved for now in that she's currently 'cancer free'.
it has, however, been a melanoma, a germinoma and a few carcinoma so she's being scanned pretty regularly, and i don't have a lot of info to go on but i think that nobody's talking about what her odds really are.
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sass_my_frass
Ah well, I guess I was hoping that there had been a new light (a modern one, maybe a series of efficient low-power LEDs) on the subject. Now I just have to stay sad about how my sister and her husband would be feeling.
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And UGLY response to a Christmas Card!
by LovesDubs inboy..just when i thought things couldnt get weirder in my life...i spent a whole day designing a christmas newsletter with colorful pictures and stories about what my kids and family have been doing, and the election and you know...year end things and greetings, to send out.
i do this every year.
this year i had to file bankruptcy in august and decided to email the newsletter to save money.
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sass_my_frass
There is a generation that is inclined to think that way. I was sending out an email newsletter every few months for a while after getting disfellowshipped, and it was also pretty good. I included my parents because I was finding it difficult to communicate with them without getting stung, and boy did mum over-react! "Only thing we hear from you is what you send out to everybody..." etc. I stopped sending out that email at all after that, because it would have been worse if I sent it to everybody but her. Truth be told, it was mostly a way of getting through to my JW family that I'm doing very well, I was hoping that in the cases of those whose email address I don't have, it would be passed on to them.
These days I write a few standard paras and tailor the rest of the email to individuals, sending it out just to single email addresses. It's a more personal way of keeping in touch that appeals to people more, and it doesn't take much longer. And as it happens, I still don't send it to my mum. Too much potential for misery.
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sass_my_frass
Yep talking to her in person is definitely your best option. Say it all how you think it's best said. The most important thing for her to know is that you're not able to believe it yourself and that you're concerned that this will always come between you. There's a lot of other stuff, but be clear on that.
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sass_my_frass
Sorry, I've been unnecessarily harsh, I always forget that there's also a nice girl in this story too.
Give yourselves every chance you can, but be honest from the start. You won't get away with a farce. Tell her what you really think of the religion. If it's love, you'll be able to work it out together, you'll find an actual compromise. But you can't play a game forever, it will just keep getting worse.
Think honesty.
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sass_my_frass
Re what you said:
I truly believe if both people are willing to compromise, it is not giving up anything. Compromising is not giving up on anything. You make choices to help each other out, and that in turn helps yourself out, and in the end, it can work out. I believe ANYTHING...ANYTHING, can work, if you have two people, who are willing to compromise, you can make anything work.
I agree 100%; to me this is the only way a relationship can withstand the years. If one person is not able to, it doesn't matter what their reasons are, the other is a doormat. This should be ringing a big loud warning bell to you. You're a man right?
Seems to me her biggest fear is, she would get in trouble from her congregation for having a "worldly" man, and that she would then lose the privilege of being able to go door to door. She would also never hear the end of it from her congregation for being in a relationship with a worldly man. Once a JW is married, if it is to a non JW, do they actually encourage you to divorce that person?? I have not heard of THAT, but I have heard they are pretty strongly against it, and try with the guilt trip all the time.
She wouldn't lose the privilege of field service, nobody loses that. There are a few random privileges she might lose but as a woman, nothing significant. A man would lose the holy privilege of say, handing out the microphones. A woman might not be able to have a field service group at her house. Cry me a river. You are, as you say, giving up infinitely more, and she's pretending that doesn't compare. Run, run, open your eyes and run.
How do you tell a human being "OK, you can only fall in love with certain people, and if it just so happens to be that you do the human thing and fall in love with another human who is not in our religion, to bad, so sad, spend your life lonely and without them"
Yeah that's a bummer. You won't spend your life sad and lonely though. You've clearly got her on a pedestal that it would probably take you a few years to dismantle, but then you'd notice how many actual sweethearts there are out there.
I do realize, me coming back, and asking for help once again, makes me look like a fool. I understand that. I know everyone here must be thinking "why doesn't this guy just leave already, there is so many other woman out there, why is he letting himself get kicked around like this?"
No not a fool; and certainly not the first person it's happened to.
I need to say for my own dignity, that when we are together, or talking on the phone or whatever, and religion is not part of it, it is absolutely incredible, just a awesome relationship. I can't even find the best words to describe it, but when she is not trying to pressure me into converting, it is the best feeling I ever get in the world, and I am not ever happier than I am in those moments.
That's great, but apparently you're not in each other's company often, and are in different cities? When the holiday is over, a couple of years down the track, the only thing left in your life will be those religion moments. Take all of those ugly moments you've had together over that, add them together, and multiply by the rest of your life. That's your future.
That is just something I want you guys to know, so that you understand my motive here. If I give up this woman, I give up on love, and ever having love in my life again, she is just amazing.
I'm sure she's amazing and pretty great for you and otherwise a perfect match, but you won't be giving up on love. Those are the words of a delusional person. You can't tell, because you're the delusional person.
At the same time, I have to stick to MY OWN guns as well. I will continue to offer my compromises, but beyond that point, I just do not think I could do anything else (become a baptized door to door JW)
Sure, offer your compromises. See how much longer you can bear it.
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sass_my_frass
Take a deep breath, and read these words: if the condition for your life together is that you help her feel good about her religion, it isn't true love. My husband nearly did the same for me, early on when it looked like I would reject him otherwise, but he stood his ground. I'm really glad for that; both of our lives would have been horrid if we'd had to dance around the things I thought I knew and hoped he backed me up on. It would have slowly destroyed our marriage and wasted many years of both of our lives. Neither of us would have been happy with what would have to eventually come out as a farce.
If you think that's your love story, knock yourself out.
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Do the resurrected get to have babies?
by sass_my_frass inok obviously a dumb question, for so many reasons, but i need to know what the current doctrine is re the resurrected; last time i looked they were 'as angels' in that they're not able to breed, which solves the population problem of bringing back to life almost everybody who has ever died.
anyway thing is this; my sisters' cancer has been resolved for now in that she's currently 'cancer free'.
it has, however, been a melanoma, a germinoma and a few carcinoma so she's being scanned pretty regularly, and i don't have a lot of info to go on but i think that nobody's talking about what her odds really are.
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sass_my_frass
Ok obviously a dumb question, for so many reasons, but I need to know what the current doctrine is re the resurrected; last time I looked they were 'as angels' in that they're not able to breed, which solves the population problem of bringing back to life almost everybody who has ever died. Anyway thing is this; my sisters' cancer has been resolved for now in that she's currently 'cancer free'. It has, however, been a melanoma, a germinoma and a few carcinoma so she's being scanned pretty regularly, and I don't have a lot of info to go on but I think that nobody's talking about what her odds really are. Anyway, she may or may not get lucky, but either way, the only thing she's ever wanted in life is babies, but she and her husband put them off until After Armageddon as you do. Now she's in her late thirties, has only one ovary and has been through a few months of chemo, so it's not looking likely.
I got in contact with her a few months ago and was assured that no, they definitely don't want to hear from me still, so ok I've left them alone. What would be great would be if the stance on the resurrected has changed; if they've suddenly decided that they will be able to breed after all. I fear that while she's pretty much indifferent towards the result of the cancer; with the Resurrection Hope and all, she's Better Off Not Having To Live Through The Great Tribulation etc, but then, she'd know that she's never going to be able to have tadpoles. I think that this would be the worst thing. But if the doctrine has changed, it would be great to try to get that message through to her through the gossip channels somehow. That might improve her life marginally.