How bad IS this religion on a relationship??

Some of you know me, I used to frequent this forum, and I fell in love with a very dedicated Jehovah's Witness. I will not bother to type that whole story out again as it is already in this forum.

This one I fell in love with, came to me recently and told me, basically more or less, that if anything is to ever become of our love for each other, I need to become interested in this religion, to at the very least, be able to share it with her and relate to things about it with her. She wants me to at least try 1 or 2 meetings, to see first if it is something I would like to do.

I offered to read the bible with her, help her study, I told her I would not ever try to take it away from her, and I would not as that is part of who she is, but yet she still insists that simply is not enough. Am I not bending over backwards here already? I think what I offered is a pretty good thing, considering most people would not even bother to do that.

I feel as if I am being told to choose if I want to live life or not. I like where I live, I like my job, I am happy with things in general except for I can't be with this woman. I love this woman with all of my heart and nothing else has ever even come close, and it is very passionate and really just, true love is all I can describe it as. I want to be with her, but taking on a religion I honestly do not want to be a big part of, is something I am unsure of. I fear that, even if I can do it at first, that I will only be able to stand it for a short while, and then everything will just turn ugly, and I would've been better off to leave quietly in the first place.

I know already if it is not this woman, it is no other woman, I know I know, a lot of people tell me that is just not the case and there is many fish in the sea, but I honestly can't let go of this woman after 4 years. So to me, this is not so much choosing between religion, or no religion, it is almost like choosing between, lonely, sad and resentful for the rest of my life, or, the ultimate goal, of being with this woman i love so much for the rest of my life, because I really DO want to spend the rest of my life with her. Even if SHE is a witness, I do not care, I just wish I did not have to be one too.

What do I do here people? I came back once again looking for help, but I feel and fear that once again, I know the answer deep down inside of me and it is the answer I do not like. Trying to figure out a way to be with her where she is satisfied and I do not have to become a Witness is the next impossible thing.

I have thought before that ok, maybe I could stand it, do 1 or MAYBE 2 meetings a week, and just go along with the whole thing. I mean honestly, going somewhere once a week, for an hour or 2 or whatever, and reading the bible, I can handle that ok. What I am afraid of, is I will be pressured and pressured to do more, and more, and become more involved, and that she will not be happy with my status of involvement until I am marching door to door with the rest of them, which is something I would not ever do, just could not.

I am trying to compromise but I see there is none with her in this situation. How do I walk away from the love of my life, and before you guys take the time to try and help me (if you even will, and if so, I do appreciate it) how can you tell me to walk away from the love of my life? It is not that easy, there is no other woman out there like here, there never will be.

*deep sigh*....help.

strawberry cake

Her love will always be conditional. Is this the sort of love you want?

Also the organization will ALWAYS come between you, spoiling your relationship and she may be disappointed in you for not committing.

xxx SC

sacolton

If you can accept the fact that she will put the Watchtower organization before anything and that it trumps you and marriage. If you can accept that you WILL NOT be the "spiritual head" of the home and her friends will be very leery of you and judge you as "spiritually weak". If you can accept she doesn't want children because Armageddon is "very close". If you can accept that she will refuse a blood transfusion to save her life or the life of any possible children you have together ... if you can accept this and so much more ... you might not go crazy.

snowbird

She knows how deeply you care for her and she is using that as leverage to get you to fall in step with the program.

What program is that?

To parade you at the meetings and assemblies as one who gave up "worldliness" in order to please Jehovah and marry one of His worshipers. She will be held up as a prime example to other single women in the organization as one who put Jehovah first.

I saw it happen when I was in the JW's. The guy seemed to truly love this woman, but it only took a little while for things to turn sour. He told her that he couldn't hack it anymore; she told him bye-bye.

The WT organization is the epitome of selfishness. It's all about them and their shiny image. Individuals don't matter. Trust us on that one.

Sylvia

nelly136

she will not be happy with my status of involvement until I am marching door to door with the rest of them

that about sums it up, and dont forget the baptism.

Cheetos

There are enough doo's and don't's in life, the Witness's have added to the scriptures with their man made rules to the point they have almost have ruined them, it makes me sick.

garybuss

They only have 2 meetings a week now, so, 2 a week is 100%.

Small price to pay for some broad who'll fart like a plow horse and have an ass a yard wide on her in 10 years.

Zico

Tank,

Your problems have nothing to do with religion, lots of non-JWs have happy relationships with JWs, but, just like in any "normal" relationship, both sides have to be willing to compromise in order to make it work. It's completely disrespectful and selfish to ask you to give up your beliefs and the customs in your life (i.e. celebrating christmas/birthdays, associating with worldly people etc...) when she'd refuse to give up any aspect of her life, and it also points to an obvious lack of love on her part.

If you give into her, become a JW and marry her, you WILL end up lonely, sad and resentful anyway.

DaCheech

I married my JW and love her very much.

If I would have met a "worldly" woman with the same qualities as my wife.... I would have probably tried to convert her.

freedom, and real love is more rational than this JW mentality.

In my experience couples that are half JW and half something else are usually kept out of jw gatherings.

this status puts a heavy burden on you both.