Rebel8-- you hit the nail on the head. I was extremely depressed when I was a JDumb. I remember how relieved I was of stress, severe feelings of guilt, and constantly worrying about not making it to the Big A. I suffered from terrible nightmares about demons & Armageddon which magically stopped when I left & didn't have to listen to that crap anymore. I learned it was ok to feel joy and happiness and have fun. Also-- the gossip, the backstabbing, the judgemental attitude even toward supposedly good Jdumbs, was so hypocritical & sickening. And then there was the clickiness that made me want to upchuck. They don't want you to be around 'worldly' people, but they would pretty much discourage any type of social get togethers. Since I didn't have a Jdumb family I was always left out of the social circles.
love2Bworldly
JoinedPosts by love2Bworldly
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love2Bworldly
The passive-agressive supression of creative thinking, and general unwillingness to honestly consider any evidence of serious error.-- That is exactly my JW sister "passive agressive" hatred toward others. She always acts so empathetic toward "worldly" people who have problems, but because I no longer believe in her religion-- she treats me like garbage and didn't have the courtesy to call me when my father was dying. In fact she did her best to hide that from me and my other sister. I would call that very unchristlike!!! Thank goodness I had seen my dad 2 days before he died. She knew my dad was being put on hospice care and her and my non JW brother purposefully didn't call me and my other sister because they don't like us. I couldn't believe it. I am trying not to hate her guts but she makes it really difficult. Then at my dad's funeral my husband touched her arm and said "I'm so&so" and she angrily yanked her arm away and said "So I've gathered!" in an extremely rude manner-- my husband couldn't believe that she would act that way at her father's funeral. She did that because he is with me. Not a very good "witness" behavior. She had driven about 6 hours away to go to the funeral and then left right after, heaven forbid she eat food with non JW relatives-- what f***** weird behavior. I know she acted like that to my husband because we were living "in sin" at the time. My sister told me back in 2007 (about the last conversation I have had with her) that the reason she would be willing to talk to me on and off again over the years is because 'of my lifestyle'. When I pressed her for details, I found out the only times she would talk to me is when I was married (I have had a couple of husbands), whenever I wasn't married-- she wouldn't talk to me or have anything to do with me EVEN IF I WASN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE-- really bizarre behavior if you ask me. That religion SUCKS!!!
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What is your favourite message from the Lord?
by snare&racket incatch......you must choose one from this list.... .
http://www.gifsforum.com/listofmemes/gallery/jesus-is-a-jerk.
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love2Bworldly
dazedbutconfused-- LOL that is hilarious, I love that "leave me alone Jesus", hee hee
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does anyone really overcome co-dependence behaviors?
by love2Bworldly inmy friend gave me a book she had, called "facing codependence" by pia mellody.
it's not a new book but sounded interesting, so i started reading it this morning.
after 20 pages, i put the book down & started bawling.
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love2Bworldly
Thank you for all your responses, I appreciate it. I did read Toxic Parents, and that book did help me a LOT. I guess I just need to remind myself once in a while that I am making progress, to give myself a pat on the back, and stop grieving over the past. Something about turning 50 this year, has made me reflect too much on the negative parts of my past. I did join a psychology forum for support, but the way it's set up is a lot more trickier than this forum. I find this forum way easier to use, and got discouraged trying to figure out how to post & navigate around on the other website. I ran my dog, did some aerobics, ate a little ice cream, read your posts, and life is better now. Thanks again!!!
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does anyone really overcome co-dependence behaviors?
by love2Bworldly inmy friend gave me a book she had, called "facing codependence" by pia mellody.
it's not a new book but sounded interesting, so i started reading it this morning.
after 20 pages, i put the book down & started bawling.
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love2Bworldly
Wow, I swear I put spaces in between the paragraphs
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does anyone really overcome co-dependence behaviors?
by love2Bworldly inmy friend gave me a book she had, called "facing codependence" by pia mellody.
it's not a new book but sounded interesting, so i started reading it this morning.
after 20 pages, i put the book down & started bawling.
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love2Bworldly
My friend gave me a book she had, called "Facing Codependence" by Pia Mellody. It's not a new book but sounded interesting, so I started reading it this morning. After 20 pages, I put the book down & started bawling. I am 50 years old, have spent years trying to get better, trying to feel "normal", read a lot of books, done a lot of self-help type stuff & self healing. When I sit back & look objectively at myself, I am proud of myself & know I have come a long way. Especially since I was diagnosed as bipolar 3 years ago, it gave me an AHA moment of why I have struggled all my life to feel or be 'normal' or happy, or the struggle to overcome my depression & chronic fatigue syndrome. But I feel very bad of all the situations I put myself in when I was raising 3 kids by myself, and for all the unhealthy emotional crap I have passed onto my children. I feel ashamed of putting my needs at times ahead of what would have been in the best interests of my young children. My 3 kids are all young adults now, and frankly doing very very well as far as career & education. My 2 older kids have pretty thick emotional walls around themselves, one at 26 has never even been on a date & claims she has absolutely no interest in being in a relationship or having children, the other one dates a lot of girls but never really commits emotionally to anyone. My youngest daughter has been in a relationship for over a year now with the same person, and I am very happy that she found someone she gets along with so well-- but she is so codependent, always looking to others to fulfill herself, and she is bi-polar so she will always struggle with emotional health & has since she was a toddler. I guess I feel like my behaviors have damaged my children and it makes me very very sad sometimes. I love my kids so very much, and I just want them to be happier than I have been in my lifetime & I want them to love themself. I am really having a pity party this morning. But what terrifies me, is the fear that I will outlive my husband of 5 years. He is the absolute love of my life. He is codependent like me, but unlike my other partners truly loves me & cares about me. Nothing is perfect of course, he has tendencies to be controlling etc but the difference is that he is aware of his issues. He is 11 years older than me, and has health issues that I know will grow worse with age. What I am scared of, is that he will pass away eventually and instead of finding peace with myself & enjoying my older years doing what I want to do, fixing my home the way I want it, etc etc, is that I will run into other codependent or dysfunctional relationships or find myself in similar horrible situations that I have dealt with over the years with relationships & unhealthy and/or abusive people. I am just frustrated at being 50 years old and still struggling with the same issues I have had my whole life. So I keep thinking, will I ever overcome being codependent on others for my self esteem & sense of self worth & happiness? Or am I being too hard on myself, and instead need to step back, be objective & give myself a pat on the back for all the efforts I have put into becoming an emotionally healthier person? Thanks for listening.
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has shunning been downplayed?
by chickpea inseveral times over the course of a year or so, jws from the kh i attended have been downright chatty during happenstance crossing of paths... .
wth is up with that?
i have no grudges against any of them, but it is confusing as all get out to have left the cult as an ardent supporter of my out, open, front page headlining transgender son, becoming vocally and decidely apostate knowing i was dead to them... now after at least a half decade out, to have them chummy-ing up to me in a check-out line.... frankly, i would rather they look the other way, you know, if none of them would ever genuinely want to know how my son is doing.
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love2Bworldly
I think it depends upon their mood, they always pretend like they don't see me when I see someone from my old JW life
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Our DC is on now and I...
by Julia Orwell in...was just in the yard playing with my cat.
spent ages with my beautiful cat, watching her roll on the lawn and purr.
her fur is unbelievably soft.. we slept in, got up, had a leisurely breakfast knowing we can go at our own pace, tended the chickens, i called my brother; hubby and i did some housework, played with the cat, and we're off to a lunch date down the local pizza place, knowing we won't have any jws pass by and snub us or look askance at hubby's beard because they're all in brisbane.. it feels a bit funny missing something i've been going to since i was 18, but it also feels good.
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love2Bworldly
Last 4 weeks or so, every Friday evening when I walk to my husband's office from my office, the Jdumbs are coming out of the Convention Center with their hot suits (100 degree weather going on), even little kids in their hot suits & name tags, and all I can think is Thank God I am not wasting my time with that BS anymore!!! And I start having flashbacks to the dumbass talks that tell you to quit your job if you can't get time off for their boring, stupid assemblies.
Oh man, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy I don't waste my time like that anymore & I feel sorry for those that haven't seen the light yet
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Another story... possibly final story
by confusedandalone inthis is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.
it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.
i feel free today.
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love2Bworldly
Sorry about your situation. What I really really don't get with the Jdumbs, is why it's ok for them to try to care for parents but screw any other relatives like siblings who are not Jdumbs.
My Jdumb sister who lived out of town, was always trying to control my non jdumb parents & "help" them and look like the wonderful daughter, while she bashed me and her other non Jdumb siblings & treated the rest of us like crap, & bad mouthed aunts/uncles/cousins etc.
I understand the Bible touts taking care of parents, but I don't recall any scriptures that say "screw the rest of your family." They are such hypocrites and always talking about their "love for mankind" is why they go preaching. What a bunch of BS.
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Thank you LoisLane Looking for Superman
by TotallyADD inmy wife and i ran up against a brick wall trying to find out imformation on our search of finding my half brother.
will loislane pm me and offered us her service in finding him.
found us some very good leads but surprise, surprise she came across someone i totally forgot about from my childhood.
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love2Bworldly
Congratulations! I will be hooking up with an aunt in PA soon that I have never met, & I am very excited about it.