Posts by Cordelia

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

ok things are moving along now!

my dad turned up sunday dinnertime he'd been taking some of the elders school. and i was in bed obviously not been to the meetings,( my bf ran and hid in the shed!)

he asked me what was going on and i told him i was feeling like i didnt want to go to the meetings anymore that i didnt believe the society were right esp on shunning i didnt believe jesus would do it etc, he was hurt but ive talked like this before so he just said write everything down and he'd try and answer it, so i've decided im gonna write everything down and show him the way i'm thinking.

anyway today he rung me and said i wasnt showing godly repentance and if i was choosing to see this boy he could have nothing to do with me, i said i love the boy and am not happy without him and want him AND my family, he said its impossiable and i will lose everyone for him, i said thats why i resent the wittnesses coz i shouldnt have that choice!

basically tho he didnt really listen and still text me later that he was praying i'd make the right decision, I just feel so torn, i KNOW what i want is to never go to another meeting again, even celebrate christmass and be free to live with my boyfriend and give it a proper go, But everytime i try and tell my dad that he just sounds so upset and ill, and i feel so bad, like im telling my dad i dont want him anymore,

I know what u are all saying that i shouldnt be bringing the bf into it but if he wasnt there i prob would get reinstated for my family and then try and leave, but thats prob a bad idea anyway,

But my bf won't wait forever its been months and he hates hiding from my ex everytime he comes to pick up my daughter, and i know i owe it to him to just come out and tell everyone i'm sorry but i'm not going to meetings anymore and i am being with my bf,

will i feel better once i have done that and can just concertrate on me? (even if my dad did fall more ill?)

28

cordelias first ever birthday!

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

hey i keep forgetting but its my birthday tomorrow!.

18th november i will be the big 30 (and i look about 11!).

i really wanted tobe completely open and celebrate it properly i never dreamt i'd be still in the position of living a double life and hiding my true feelings from my family (see my other thread).

Cordelia

wow its here it feels so wierd bet it takes ages to get into it!

I'm prob just gonna get drunk! cant top sironas birthday party maybe next year we could have an apostafest party (when i'm two. i know refuse to tell anyone my age!!)

11

WE ROCKED

by tijkmo in

.

no problems with tuning, drummers, sozzled guitarists, or sound checks..... just good old-fashioned rock n roll.

next stop...the new wembley stadium...(or an american equivilent)

Cordelia

thats fantastic im so glad it went well,

can't wait to hear you live!

why don't you have a tikjmo and his band apostafest (preferably in manchester!)

28

cordelias first ever birthday!

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

hey i keep forgetting but its my birthday tomorrow!.

18th november i will be the big 30 (and i look about 11!).

i really wanted tobe completely open and celebrate it properly i never dreamt i'd be still in the position of living a double life and hiding my true feelings from my family (see my other thread).

Cordelia

Thanks so much everyone that really felt great!

And i needed abit of cheering up today, I've still got ten minutes of being in my twentys it seems so strange!

28

cordelias first ever birthday!

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

hey i keep forgetting but its my birthday tomorrow!.

18th november i will be the big 30 (and i look about 11!).

i really wanted tobe completely open and celebrate it properly i never dreamt i'd be still in the position of living a double life and hiding my true feelings from my family (see my other thread).

Cordelia

hey i keep forgetting but its my birthday tomorrow!

18th november i will be the big 30 (and i look about 11!)

i really wanted tobe completely open and celebrate it properly i never dreamt i'd be still in the position of living a double life and hiding my true feelings from my family (see my other thread)

I have just made a vow to myself that i will have it all sorted by christmass so i can be free to go out (i will have to get one of those baby trees i can stick in the cupboard!)

God all this is making me feel a tinsy bit guilty!

what was it like celebrating your first pagan things?

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

it really means alot that u all take the time out to care, your comments help me alot,

tik i did get your email the other day and there were so many things i want to respond to so i will email u when i have more time, (i keep just bobbing on the comp) it was lovely to hear from you,

sass u are right and i will put my daughter first i have just got a good solictor, but my hubby wants her half and half which is only fair, thats the sadest thing of all this, guess thats why when me and the bf had it hard i swayed towards the 'truth' again, and figured id just go back to everything id left behind, but i didnt count on loving the bf still so much! (he thinks its freaky how we cant seem to completely let go, whan it prob would be the best thing for both of us, but he feels that must mean its love and so he wants to move in and be together openly this time)

which is what i decided to do, coz i havent been happy living this double life, but that brings me to ,y family how do i tell them?

big willy thanks for your experience, i always thought it was better to fade and not be dfed coz than at least they can have association without feeling guilty to god, but i guess its just as hard either way! youre right my dad does love me but i know without a doubt that he would cut me off completely if i was seeing/living with this boy, and thats what hurts my family will see it as a choice between them and him, and there not well etc and i will break there hearts but i dont think getting reinstated then leaving would be much better do you?

plus id lose the bf, anyway im going round in circles i have made the decision to be with him and stop the meetings (i hate sitting there) but how do i go about telling them?

and am i making the right decision?

can you be happy without your family around?

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

u guys are great

Ross i know u know me and i know u are so right!

jgnat how are u so full of such brilliant ideas all the time, i will do that.

diana, im like u i could prob tell u what to do just cant seem to tell myself!

jeff thanks too, i do know what i need to do and this time i must do it, or im sure ill drive u all completely mad! not to mention the poor bf!!

6

Creation account according to the Ladies....

by bull01lay in

in the beginning god created eve.

and she had 3 breasts.

after three weeks in the garden, god came to visit eve.

Cordelia

i thought it was really funny, does anyone remember thatb rib joke about adam

11

Can you read this?

by skyman in

can you read this?

olny srmat poelpe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht i cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht i was rdanieg.

Cordelia

do you know what i read it so fast absolutely no probs at all and im alittle bit tipsy maybe that helps

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

that old man boy and donkey was brilliant, i saved it on my favourites

i know i dont know why im like this but my dad is the same thats what so hard i know hed do anything for me and i will hurt him so bad!#

but i think i must stand by what i think (prob is i keep changing my mind!)