The behavior of elders and other so-called mature men in the congregation can really open eyes. I worked for an elder once, long ago, who did more to discredit Jehoover in the eyes of ANYONE he came into contact with than any ten bad JWs. He was arrogant, opinionated, often dead wrong, had no compassion and was bordering on a cheat in his business at the time I worked for him. After I left, he apparently did commit fraud, left his wife and family for a time (all kinds of speculation on where he was and what he was doing), sold his business and got sued by the IRS for back taxes.
They never disfellowshipped him, though he was removed as an elder. It was proven that he was taking people's electric payments and never forwarding the money to the electric company. This wasn't a mistake or an oversight, it was willful. But his family was prominent in the congregation and he'd been an elder for many years, so they caved to pressure and didn't kick him out.
That letter that you received sounds exactly like something he would have done. Everybody is wrong but the guy who IS wrong.
Good for you on walking out. I believe in escaping the borg by the most passive means possible, especially if you have family still in. If you can let them believe that you are stepping down due to severe disappointment and stress, and slowly fade out...again, letting them believe that it was the events that happened while you were an elder that have caused depression, they might let you be. While its a great fantasy to do what william hahn's friend did (punching the PO to the ground), its not practical if you want any kind of contact with your family in the future.
Good luck to you.