Posts by DannyHaszard

Danny, I'm not attacking you nor am I saying MJ's bizarre religious background had nothing to do with his bizarre behavior as an adult. I am just saying it is NOT an excuse. We can't blame the dubs for MJ being a child molester; we can only blame MJ.

Roger that mate,i am gloating that the press is blaming MJ's sexual dysfunction on his Jehovah's Witnesses upbringing and rightly so.

I tell you the truth there are more sociopaths/psychopaths per-capita and 'per square inch' among JW's that anywhere except the prisons.

The Watchtower damned sure f**ked me up i DID NOT HAVE SEX UNTIL AGE 46 i am a NORMAL guy.

Why?Jehover gonna give me the 'girl of my dreams' any day in the 'new system'.Before i knew it i am old man.

I SQUANDERED my YOUTH for a cult and i am pissed!

Thus, the sad tale of Michael Jackson's sexual behaviors. The way psychology works, not everybody with a similar past ends up with the same outcome; for example, not all abused kids end up as abusers. With shocking statistics that up to one in four females, and one in seven males have been subject to some kind of abuse, certainly not all of them turn around and become perpetrators (called "identification with the aggressor" in psychological terms).

We don't excuse child abusers (or murderers for that matter) under the law because they've had an abusive childhood or bad breaks. But understanding their past gives us some solace in understanding why people may do what they do, and even in some cases, tremendous compassion for what should happen to them.

The law deals with cold hard facts; psychology admittedly copes with grey areas, suppositions and possible connections. Hence, the following possible connections in Michael Jackson's case, that can lead to compassion for the man-child facing up to 24 years in prison if convicted on counts against him -- as the O.J.-like "case of the century" winds to its conclusion this week.

1) Regarding sleeping in the same bed with other young boys, Michael was supposedly exposed to this in childhood, growing up in a poor and large family, with many siblings crowded into a two-room house with triple decker bunk beds. Surely, sharing a bed was not only not a crime, but a necessity, that was approved. This helps explain Michael's insistence in the Bashir documentary that he sees nothing wrong with sleeping in the same bed with boys, that, in fact, "It can be the most loving thing to do to share your bed." My own mother grew up in such a family, where nine children crowded into beds in limited space -- and none of them grew up to sexually abuse children.

2) As a pre-adolescent, Michael was forced by his father to sing with his brothers in a band working in strip clubs and bars. In such establishments, he was exposed to multiple sexual activities that any boy of that age would find confusing. According to a VH1 documentary (one of the most revealing on this subject I have seen), the youngster was in the next bed as his brothers had sex with women.

The older boys then supposedly locked little Michael in a room with a prostitute, yet Michael read the scriptures; and so was accused of being gay. Groupies later screamed for him, yet young girls also supposedly rejected him. How could these events not be sexually confusing and emotionally crippling to a young boy? No wonder, as Micahel was said, "Adults have let me down, children never let me down."

Further, how could a boy not develop resentment towards a father-figure – and resistance to becoming a full-fledged adult male himself – when a male role model makes him lie, abuses him, or makes his child live out his dreams?

Given these dynamics, wouldn't it make sense that it would be safer and more comforting to transform yourself at least in appearance to look like Diana Ross -- Jackson's plastic surgery was apparently intended to make him look like the superstar -- a similarly famous singer, a female (given Michael's closer attachment to his mild-mannered mother than to his father), and a woman with an exceptionally strong personality.

3)Then, there were suggestions that Jackson's father had his turn with those groupies, thereby being unfaithful to his wife -- Jackson's mother whom he adored -- and worse, violating his mother's ultra-religious tenets. The boy was told not to tell, and lied to his mother; another major reason for sexual – and even moral – confusion. It is common for kids to be bullied by an unfaithful parent into not revealing the infidelity, thereby being drawn unwillingly into complicity; and it's also common that this leads to guilt, confusion, anger and even misbehaviors later in adulthood.

4) Any sex therapist knows that early message about sex from parents and religion can cause sexual problems later on. Jackson's mother, as a Jehovah Witness, taught him that sex and music were the work of the devil – even that a glimpse of sex would send him to hell. Yet he saw sex all around him. What possible solution can a child come up with to reconcile all these confusing messages? Withdrawal into a fantasy world, personality disorders, multiple personalities, acting out, even becoming precocious while still being asexual, can all be solutions to cope with such inner conflict.

In the theory about Jackson, as a "child molester" of the arrested development type, who thinks of himself as no older than the boys he "plays with," it is consistent that all this childhood exposure to sex fixated him at a young age, and made him avoid the sexual behaviors of so-called "mature" adults.

Add to all this, confusion about truth. Jackson apparently was told by club and music marketers that it's okay to lie about his age – being an underage 11-year old – if it helps his career. Is this not a perfect model for later behavior? Why then would a boy not grow up blurring the line of what is truth, especially for his public image?

The judge in Jackson's case has instructed the jury that they may consider a "lesser charge" of "furnishing alcohol to a minor," a misdemeanor. Compassionate souls hope that the jury will go for this lesser charge if they find Jackson guilty, especially as the fragile star will likely face severe emotional danger in light of any guilty verdict.

Then there is the matter of sentencing. No question, Jackson would be imperiled in prison. There is no system that can adequately accommodate such a unique being on this planet – a Peter Pan in fantasyland. Any convicted child abuser is already low-man on the totem pole in prison, a target for abuse. Worse, like hated murderer Jeffrey Dahmer, Jackson could be molested and killed, with a fellow prisoner earning a badge of honor and a place in history for dealing his own brand of justice to such a celebrity.

If convicted, Michael would be better off in a mental health facility. In any case, he needs extensive counseling to cope with his sad downfall from superstardom, to help him face reality (a difficult task), and most of all, to help him adjust to his future.

Originally published on June 6, 2005

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My Repressed Sex Life in the Jehovah's Witnesses

'Don't matter new system coming any day'

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