You were supposed to do your housework to the kingdom melodies round by us, seems like it was a good witness to the neighbours, but only if you werent naked.
katiekitten
JoinedPosts by katiekitten
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24
Life Without End, My A*s
by GetBusyLiving inpeople dwelling together
life will be good
all will scream
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24
Something else to scare JWS
by skyman inbeef blood plasma ok for use as food binder-eu
obtained from the blood plasma of cattle and pigs.
the thrombin:fibrinogen preparation is applied to meat, where thrombin transforms fibrinogen to fibrin that interacts with collagen, enabling the binding of meat pieces in reconstituted meat.
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katiekitten
In our area Bovril was generally regarded as the devils animal based savoury spread of choice, and there were long debates and letters to manufacturers about red sweeties as they had cochineal in to colour them which was allegedly made from the blood of beetles (do beetles have blood?)
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The Story of Uncle Malcolm
by katiekitten inthis is a great story and its totally true.. peter kay says that when you are a kid you have loads of aunties and uncles, your uncle bob because he once borrowed your dads orbital sander and your aunty mary because your mum goes to weight watchers with her.
i thought it was a witnoid thing, or maybe a north of england thing, or even a 70's thing.. uncle malcolm was (is) an elder in my childhood congregation, a little wiry bloke in a flat cap and painters overalls.
lived in a council house opposite my nana's with the ample aunty jean, two large shiftless sons and lots of budgies.
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katiekitten
This is a great story and its totally true.
Peter Kay says that when you are a kid you have loads of Aunties and Uncles, your Uncle Bob because he once borrowed your dads orbital sander and your Aunty Mary because your mum goes to weight watchers with her. I thought it was a witnoid thing, or maybe a north of England thing, or even a 70's thing.
Uncle Malcolm was (is) an elder in my childhood congregation, a little wiry bloke in a flat cap and painters overalls. Lived in a council house opposite my nana's with the ample Aunty Jean, two large shiftless sons and lots of budgies. We used to meet at their house for field service, and had make sure the free range budgies didnt make a break for it or crap on our literature. Apart from Uncle Malcolm they were all a sandwich short of a picnic, and hence as the two large sons grew into even larger men, and found it impossible to hold down jobs, they became permanent occupants of the front room with the free range birds. Aunty Jean used to just feed them all and muck out as and when. They great long legs reached out across the room facing the telly which has Granstand on all the time and Leeds United permanently playing (although as we all know Grandstand was only on at Saturday. Such is the nature of my memory).
Aunty Jean had all sorts of things wrong with her, but Uncle Malcolm wouldnt let her go to the hospital to get checked, because truth be known he was scared of the doctors, despite being an elder of long standing. So on she plodded year after year, her varicose veins like a releif map of the bl00dy congo. They didnt have a car, cos nobody did in them days. If anyone did have a car and they gave her a lift it was a military manouvre getting her in and out of the passenger seat, but it was worth it to see a flash of her knickers, especially if it was a few days since you'd had your last dose at the Tuesday Group.
They went on a coach holiday one year to Torquay, after they had grown old and I had grown up. They were fixture and fitting at the KH. Nothing could happen to them, they were invincible. Except on this holiday, Aunty Jean choked on a sausage and died.
I can feel the groundswell of international sypmathy for our new collective Aunty Jean. We were all convinced she was going to die of thrombosis, or diabetes, heart failure or something more dignified. But no that old chippolata finished her off. Please forgive my for this, but every time I think of Aunty Jean versus the sausage...well... It makes me laugh.
Uncle Malcolm naturally was diatraight. Being close to 70 he no doubt was wondering who would muck out the budgies now, and if he had enough strength to lift up those two pairs of long legs to vacuum underneath them once a week? And where did food come from? And why did the clothes not appear clean in the drawers anymore after he had dropped them on the floor dirty? He was in a world of hurt.
But old Uncle Malcolm SOON came up with a plan.
He systematically proposed to every single sister in the congregation over the age of 50. He started with Adrians mum because she owned her house. My mum came second, she was better looking, but didnt own her own house. Mum and dad had got one of those Armageddon mortgages - you pay something off every month, but so little that you always owe more than you borrowed - but it doesnt matter because Armageddon is coming! So after 20 years mum still owed 10k on a 4k mortgage. Anyway she said no to Malcolm, and then tried to kill herself because, trust me, being asked out by Malcolm is not the thing to convince yourself you are still attractive.
He soon realised he was batting a bit out of his league, after all these spring chickens were 20 years younger than him. So he had to broaden the range a bit. He eventually worked his way up to Edna Poe. Edna is NOT an Aunty because she didnt become a witnoid until after i grew up. Real Aunties existed from before time started. Edna was 20 years older than Uncle Malcolm, but she was LOADED.
Malcolm hit the jackpot! Edna said yes. He was out of that council house quicker than a dog down a rat hole. Now he lives 6 months of the year in Australia!!!! Uncle Malcolm!!!! I know. I cant believe it either.
For all we know those two big lads are still watching Leeds United on Grandstand with their big legs stretched out towards the telly, covered in bird shit wondering when their mum is going to bring them a fried egg sandwich.
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DC Delegate Kit for Apostates
by RichieRich inthe time of the year has come for us to enjoy our annual district convention.
through much hard work and collaboration of thinking powers, a kit has been formed for those of you wishing to attend the convention covertly.
remember to bring your own lunch and refrain from flash photography during the session.. here's your badge:.
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katiekitten
Ritchie that is truly awe - inspiring. Ive never thought about being one of the fruit bats that hijack an assembly, but im beginning to see the light(er side).
Thanks for this.
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30 years ago TODAY - 7-June-1975
by BrendaCloutier ini got married to my jw husband.
my own personal armageddon began.
this i call the second biggest regret of my life.
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katiekitten
Brave Brenda
well done, that stupid asshole has to carry himself round every where he goes. At least you had the courage to get rid of him!
Sending love out to you sister.
KK
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I'm new here
by Apostanator inthis is the first time i feel comfortable posting something.
i've been a lurker for over a year and i must say there are a lot of courageous people here who left the watchtower.
thank god for the internet and sites like this.
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katiekitten
Looking forward to hearing you story apostinator.
I found this site a few days ago, and am addicted, its so therapeutic to talk to so many people who understand me (instead of having to explain to my partner all the crazy rules before I can make the punchline work).
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being a baby dub in the 70's
by katiekitten inim from a small backward industrial town in the north of england.
in the 70's when i was a kid no-one had a car.
we used to meet for field service on the street corner and have a pep rally right there, then stand in a circle and say a prayer.
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katiekitten
Preston, thats excellent!
I hope you threw out that Pink FLoyd album though right after the 'music that debases' talk (see my other thread).
Englishman - sorry for calling you thingumy earlier (hangs head in shame).
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Sooo....anybody know of any IT jobs in Oregon? (Or...anywhere?)
by Xander ini've been working at a telephony company doing primarily sql database stuff for the past 7 years, and the last year of that telecommuting from oregon (they didn't want to lose such a valued employee, so made arrangements for that).
unfortunately, our ceo died recently (within the past 6 weeks), the resulting turmoil with investors and customers is causing the company to go out of business.
should last out the end of the month, but, then, that's it.
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katiekitten
Nope, but if its any consolation there are no IT jobs in the UK either. Just lots of call centres and mobile phone shops...
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Would You Feel Safe Visiting A Muslim Country?
by Englishman in..just wondering.. i'd thought of maybe visiting somewhere like turkey later this year.
i believe it's absolutely stunning.
plus, the people are said to be very pleasant too.
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katiekitten
I went to turkey in 1997 and totally hated it. I went with my mum - 2 women. We were hasselled to death (hey lady lady, lookie lookie, grabbing your arms and nearly forcing you into the shops). It seemed to me that because we didnt have a man with us, like a rottweiller on a string, to fend them off, we were fair game.
It got while we could not walk through the town past any shops because the consant pressure to buy and look was making us miserable.
The people to me seemed to have the collective maturity of 11 years olds, wanting your attention all the time but turning quite nasty if you didnt give them what they demanded. One day I passed a group of young men who were calling after me, and quite uncharacteristically for me, as I hate conflict, I shouted "leave me alone". They immediately turned really nasty shouting abuse at me and catcalling me. I could have perhaps understood it if I had been swearing at them, but I wasnt (I was still a dub!!!) After 6 days I was in tears, and paid £140 to be flown home a week early.
Id go to Slovenia if I was you its a truly awesome country, and the people have grown up.
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being a baby dub in the 70's
by katiekitten inim from a small backward industrial town in the north of england.
in the 70's when i was a kid no-one had a car.
we used to meet for field service on the street corner and have a pep rally right there, then stand in a circle and say a prayer.
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katiekitten
We jolly we are NOT making it up, I'll have you know sirrah - unhand my brit memories at once you bally blackguard! (all said in the Queens English).
What about Captain Pugwash, which had Roger the Cabinboy in it? Well, we never got it, but worryingly neither did our parents!
Best banned TV was all American stuff (you guys are just too naughty for us) Starsky and Hutch (in love with David Soul), Fame (totally NOT allowed to watch it and never managed to sneak it either - because it was worldly and all about wanting to be Famous which was Bad) Dukes of Hazzard (in love with whichever one was blonde) later on The A Team (in love with Face). Gosh what a TV whore I was.