I wasn't asked, but unwittingly involved in what was (on his side) a sham marriage. I will NEVER willingly help someone to break the law. I went through hell with the FBI, INS, NYC detectives after he did some OTHER illegal things which he didn't inform me of. . .I never saw him after one morning that he didn't come home from work, got the details over the next week and more over the next few months. . .I was never charged with anything, but that is ONLY because I was innocent(DUPED) and it was obvious. As I was pregnant when he left, I imagine they figured I had enough problems. . .and they were right. I would never do anything like that to another person and I would NEVER willingly become involved in anything skunky like that. My son thinks I am to 'sensitive' and 'uptight' about breaking the law-even little things-but I am never going to apologise for being a good citizen, even if it makes me look like a self-righteous prig. I have seen too many results of broken laws, lives truly destroyed(long term problems or death)for me to just break them to make someones life easier. That being said, I would do lots to help someone like your friendly aquaintance to improve her present circumstances-and I do frequently-but I think laws are there to help, and when they don't, I will work to change them, but I WON'T break them.
JWdaughter
JoinedPosts by JWdaughter
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Has anyone ever asked you to help them do something illegal?
by Scully ini got a weird call from a work mate last night.
she's going through hell for the past year or so with her soon-to-be ex, who had been carrying on an affair and stopped sharing their family expenses.
long story short, he's out of the house now and has left her and their kids out in the country without any transportation.
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..Comfort Food..
by OUTLAW inyou`ve just come down with a bad cold or you`ve got a terrible case of the flu..maybe you`ve been partying all night.you`ve just woken up.you feel like the cat crapped in your mouth and pulled your eye lids over your chin to bury it..lol!
!..what foods do you enjoy to comfort you,when your not feeling well?...outlaw
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JWdaughter
mash potatoes and gravy
grilled cheese and tomato sandwich
homemade mac and cheese(just crave it then make it when I feel better cause no one else will make it for me)
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The JW organization could be the best for finding women !!!!
by xbethelite ini was at bethel not long ago.
and other then the hypocrisy i saw the most beautifull women in the world all in one place.
bethel makes the miss universe pagent look silly.did i mention these women are from all over the world, bethelites can stay in other countries for cheap because they can stay in assembly halls.
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JWdaughter
I couldn't say anything about Bethel, but I think JW men can be absolute dogs and get attached to women who are way too good for them.
A good friend of mine married a nice young man who moved into her congregation. He was a JW, she met his family first, but the wedding was fairly soon after they met and became engaged. She soon found out he had horrible mental problems that his family had wanted hidden from the world-which is why he had moved x-country. And they were only too happy for him to marry a nice, beautiful JW girl who had an eneffectual set of parents who would not protect her(JW mom was an abused wife to a non JW alcholic wife beating creep). So I met up with her a few years later, 4 children under the age of 6, living on welfare, husband in and out of state institutions, who left her regularly with broken limbs and bruises. She was one of the most beautiful, delicate girls I knew, very faithful JW and would never leave him-this man who lied to her, would not support her and abused her with the aid and abetting by his family that precluded her from ever escaping the nightmare that her life had become. I worry about her to this day.
I know of others who married various kinds of losers and stayed together because they had no scriptural reason to divorce. . .I am grateful that some of the marriages of my young friends were not unmitigated disasters from the get go, but most of them were. The fact is that there are HUGELY more women in the org than there are men. I don't know what that says about the women who are in-or at least the ones who stay or join as adults.
For all the good guys, I hope they got wonderful spouses, ad all the nice girls-I hope they did too-or at least didn't hook up with jerks. Ah, if all the Bethelites are looking around for the pretty, malleable,meek, subjugated girls, I am glad I was always stubborn, homely and opinionated. NOT at all attractive to a guy who can get the gorgeous girls w/o even trying, but if they wanted meek and mild, they would have really avoided me as not being worth the effort to subjugate and subdue properly.
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More Bad Association for you....lol
by doublelifer inhope i am posting this in the right place.
so glad to have found you all.
wow, i am speechless just reading these threads.
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JWdaughter
Hello, WELCOME!!! Being forced to explain to 3 grown men something that one does as a young teenager is probably some kind of child abuse. Does it strike anyone as being a very perverse form of voyerism on their part? And adults who tolerate it-what does it say about them?
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Trouble crying!
by jonno_oxford inive been lurking for a while now.
i've been about 8 years outta 'the truth'.
does anyone out there have trouble showing their emotions?
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JWdaughter
Interestingly, my mom told me that she can't cry when she is sad. I didn't attribute it to the JW thing, but maybe there is some relation. Interesting to find out! There is a lot of repression and suppression of emotions, feelings and ideas. 60 years of that could really mess up your physical responses to pain-emotional anywise.
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My JW mom thinks I am happy. . . hmmm
by JWdaughter inok, i am talking to my mom tonite at a restraunt overlooking the water, and we are having fun, and i am griping about my husbands silliness (forget which one, there are many) and she says to me" are you happy?
" and as i am complaining about my husband, i feel kind of silly saying, yes, but i said, yes, i have a lot to look forward to, my kids are great, my (new book) business is going well, and i am really excited about the next few months-my whole future.
she tells me, you know your sister has more money, and success, her husband worships her(mine has no such idolatry issues!)etc.
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JWdaughter
My daughter thinks I am pretty 'random' and I can't argue the point much. I just wanted to express that even though he drives me nuts, I love him and acknowledge his good points. I guess I could have said THAT, but, ok, I was bragging.
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Serves me right
by dobbie inlast week i had to go to my allotment in the evening to pick some stuff for my dad.i went past the house i used to attend for thursday night book study, it was thursday night and when i saw all the cars parked outside for it, i just had a huge grin on my face cos i felt so free and happy not to be there, it was the meeting i dreaded most, i used to hate it!no one used to talk to us - even my mother in law would'nt say hello not even to her grandchildren!
(the only times she spoke were on two occasions which really surprised me until i realised it was because she wanted her youngest son to sleep at ours both times, so they could go away), anyway i got to the allotment which was awful cos my little ones did not want to be there, my eldest shut the door on my 18mth old so i went and left a big bucket of produce lying in the middle of the car park.
on the way back theres a lane with a part where only one car can get through so after checking no one was conimg the other way i stated to drive up it, nearly at the bit where its wider and a boy racer appears out of nowhere making me stop.bearing in mind he only had to reverse back one car length i waited for him to go back.the git and his girlfriend just stayed there laughing at me, i had the little ones and didn't want trouble so i started to reverse(which i just can't do!
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JWdaughter
The brats probably went down the street and egged the JW meeting house!
Sorry you had such a rotten experience. You are awesome to be cool though with the kidlets-they don't need to see their best adult acting like a crazy fool.
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My JW mom thinks I am happy. . . hmmm
by JWdaughter inok, i am talking to my mom tonite at a restraunt overlooking the water, and we are having fun, and i am griping about my husbands silliness (forget which one, there are many) and she says to me" are you happy?
" and as i am complaining about my husband, i feel kind of silly saying, yes, but i said, yes, i have a lot to look forward to, my kids are great, my (new book) business is going well, and i am really excited about the next few months-my whole future.
she tells me, you know your sister has more money, and success, her husband worships her(mine has no such idolatry issues!)etc.
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JWdaughter
Just the one husband, can't remember if I was griping about his cars, spending, selfishness, lateness. . .and at the same time grateful that he isn't abusive, adulterous, stinky or alcoholic. Oh, and he is cute and has a great butt for his age, but thats just my opinion.:)
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My JW mom thinks I am happy. . . hmmm
by JWdaughter inok, i am talking to my mom tonite at a restraunt overlooking the water, and we are having fun, and i am griping about my husbands silliness (forget which one, there are many) and she says to me" are you happy?
" and as i am complaining about my husband, i feel kind of silly saying, yes, but i said, yes, i have a lot to look forward to, my kids are great, my (new book) business is going well, and i am really excited about the next few months-my whole future.
she tells me, you know your sister has more money, and success, her husband worships her(mine has no such idolatry issues!)etc.
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JWdaughter
Ok, I am talking to my mom tonite at a restraunt overlooking the water, and we are having fun, and I am griping about my husbands silliness (forget which one, there are many) and she says to me" Are you happy?" And as i am complaining about my husband, I feel kind of silly saying, YES, but I said, yes, I have a lot to look forward to, my kids are great, my (new book) business is going well, and I am really excited about the next few months-my whole future. She tells me, you know your sister has more money, and success, her husband worships her(mine has no such idolatry issues!)etc. etc, and she just doesn't have the same spark in her eyes as you do. You look so alive and so eager and so happy. . ." OK, I feel kind of wonderful now. But I come home and come to this board and thought HEY, what an opportunity I screwed up. Cause she is so NOT happy. She is the JW mom, widowed, ok for money, getting a new puppy, and I know she is looking forward to some things, but she drinks too much, (not for fun, just to get lost in it,really). I personally think the JW crap she has been raised up in spoils her everyday little joys. She can see things, and appreciate them (flowers, puppies, etc) but she has this horrid expectation of the entire world being destroyed imminently and I know that has to be a downer. She is a great one for bringing up "this wicked system of things" that "Jehovah will soon be destroying" (gag me) Another thing she was saying is that she is uneasy because she can't cry unless she drinks-you know- really drinks. She has all this sorrow she wants to get out but she can't cry. Thats just so sad I didn't even know what to think. So I am overall happy about life and DA'd. She is now an active(well she did FS recently) JW. Who is living in a spiritual paradise? Any ideas how I could point out how some of her ways of looking at the world could be affecting her happiness and how twisted the WT has made her thinking without running her off (as has happened in the past) Shelly
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How do you keep your mind on the positives not the negatives?
by Mysterious ini thought this thread would be good for those leaving the organization since there are many ups and downs.
sometimes i think we dwell more on the negative than the positive and that leads to people going back because the bad seems to outweigh the good.
* make a pro and con list.
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JWdaughter
Fear-of one thing or another. That the WT may have something critical right.That they will be abandoned by loved ones that are JW. That they will no longer have a job. That they will no longer have any friends. That they will no longer feel superior. That they will no longer feel self righteous. shelly