Fear is relative. I think its there to warn you of the danger of some possibilities not stop you from making forward progress. I think we let it suck the life out of us instead of bearing down and getting through it.
coolhandluke
JoinedPosts by coolhandluke
-
16
Where we go from here is a choice I leave to you
by coolhandluke inthat is one of my favorite lines from the matrix.
the lines proceeding it are: .
fear.
-
-
-
16
Where we go from here is a choice I leave to you
by coolhandluke inthat is one of my favorite lines from the matrix.
the lines proceeding it are: .
fear.
-
-
coolhandluke
That is one of my favorite lines from the Matrix. The lines proceeding it are:
"You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin...I'm going to show [these people] a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries, a world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you."
I know few things in life with crystal clear certainty. I'll tell you what I do know though. I know how progress works. I know that no one truly cares whether or not I accomplish the goals I set for myself. I mean that to say that they do care but they have no internal control over whether or not I get off of my ass. To truly care that another human betters themselves and have that woven into your daily consciousness is something left for parents and significant others. Even then there is only so much we can truly do. I know that my fate is controlled by how much I prepare myself for opportunity and then whether or not that preparation has made me able to pull the trigger when that chance comes my way.You cannot undo the past and you cannot fix people. How many times must I learn this lesson? Salvation comes at your own hands and by your own choices. There is no personal Jesus to take on your sins. We nail our frailties onto our own cross made with our own sweat and we choose the whens and the ifs of impaling. "Where we go from here is a choice I leave to you." People must choose for themselves. Sure, a kick in the ass at an appropriate moment is a grand gift to give but a kick in the ass to someone not already moving will result in them falling flat on their face and then they'll blame you for their fall. That I can't wrap my mind about this is why I have nightmares. Fear is such an ugly demon. Fear of success, fear of that success leaving. Fear of not being helped, fear that once helped that the help will come at too steep a price, fear that the help will leave. Fear of need, fear of consumption by that need until you don't recognize yourself. Fear. It makes you act out, makes you inflict ache so that the outside world will reflect the inside one.
I am a fucked up person trying simply to wake up on time this morning. That is enough for me. The rest of it is a distraction from a group of tasks that I'm frightened to tackle and needs that I am afraid to address. To do so would ground me in the present and some days that is such a scary prospect. No past to pontificate about, no future to fantasize on. Just the simple and frank present to work in. How utterly frightening. How vitally necessary. -
34
Doing this early..Anyone going to Burning man fest this year?
by avishai incheap tickets go on sale in early jan., the event is'nt 'til august, i've tried to arrange meetups, but always at the 11th hour.
here's the site, www.burningman.com.
also, you can get low income "scholarships".
-
-
coolhandluke
dude, i'd love to go. im gonna go check out the site
-
29
I'm going to be a father
by coolhandluke ini'm going to be a father of a 15 year old boy.
my nephew.
there is no human that means more to me than him.
-
-
coolhandluke
thanks everyone. the advice means a lot to me. I promise to take it all in. you are all such loving people.
-
28
My response to an Elder!
by mavie inelder 1,. .
i will be in town on xxxxxx, december xxx.
i'm sure you would agree that my everlasting life is an important enough reason to revisit some of the outstanding questions i posed last year to be addressed.
-
-
coolhandluke
its going to come down to 'Do you believe that this is God's spirit directed organization?' or some such nonesensical bullshit question in response to your questions.
-
29
I'm going to be a father
by coolhandluke ini'm going to be a father of a 15 year old boy.
my nephew.
there is no human that means more to me than him.
-
-
coolhandluke
really good advice. i appreciate it. im going to save this thread to look back on. fwiw i love his mom. i love her a lot. she just has problems and needs help. i think therapy will be another thing to set up for him just so he has an outlet as he tends to internalize.
-
29
I'm going to be a father
by coolhandluke ini'm going to be a father of a 15 year old boy.
my nephew.
there is no human that means more to me than him.
-
-
coolhandluke
No. Not like that. I'm going to be a father of a 15 year old boy. My nephew. There is no human that means more to me than him. His mother is in a downward spiral of self pity, entitlement and self inflicted damage. He has needs that no one can facilitate. I am the best equipped to care for him and I am scared shitless. My life is just begining to find its equilibrium. But to deny this need would be a selfishness that I'd spend the rest of my life regretting.
I have some ground rules that will need to be followed but I think I'm going to take this on. He needs me and I love him as much as I'd love one of my own children perhaps more. The plan is to go to New York to get him over spring break, bring him here and find out if he likes it. If he does, then I'll ship his things out and we'll start. So many things to consider - medical, school, shoes, clothes, activities, friends, girls, masterbation, sex, haircuts, shaving, seperation anxiety from his bi-polar, codependant mother, seperation from his sisters, his mother wanting him to attend meetings. The list goes on. My stomach is in knots about it but I'm fucking excited. Sorry, I have a kid now, 'freaking excited'. -
30
Attention Target Shoppers
by coolhandluke ini started a second job.
the reasons why really dont matter.
if ive learned anything about blogging its come from joannadandy.
-
-
coolhandluke
I added you Avi. Thanks for the compliment
-
30
Attention Target Shoppers
by coolhandluke ini started a second job.
the reasons why really dont matter.
if ive learned anything about blogging its come from joannadandy.
-
-
coolhandluke
and it builds something else entirely to be able to watch it all happen and act like you don't notice.
Post more.
I always learn from you LRG. This is no different. I'm trying to let it build character, not to take myself so seriously and to just suck it up, remember my goals and do what I've got to do.
Promise that I'll post more.
CHL
-
30
Attention Target Shoppers
by coolhandluke ini started a second job.
the reasons why really dont matter.
if ive learned anything about blogging its come from joannadandy.
-
-
coolhandluke
thanks for the comments everybody. it was fun writing it.