Posts by findingmyway

38

Does anyone know of a good church I could go to?

by Andrea Wideman in

after being a catholic and a jw i am really gun shy about organized religions.

i identify myself simply as a christian.

i am looking for a church to go to for fellowship.

findingmyway

That's interesting Chrissy. I live in DC. Do you get here from Washington State very often?

69

I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

by findingmyway in

for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.

i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.

yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.

findingmyway

Caz,

Thanks for your support. I am so sorry to hear how the elders have and are continuing to handle the situation with your brother-in-law's suicide. It is simply deplorable. How are the boys holding up?

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Mouthy: you are too cute. If you want, I'll send you some more pics of LL Cool J (Ladies Love Cool James).

38

Does anyone know of a good church I could go to?

by Andrea Wideman in

after being a catholic and a jw i am really gun shy about organized religions.

i identify myself simply as a christian.

i am looking for a church to go to for fellowship.

I've been attending the "Church of Christ" for the past 2 months. It is non-denominational and, so far, the message doesn't extend past the bible. The same preacher preaches every sunday and I enjoy hearing him teach from the bible. His energy is great! There is not choir and the congregation sings together. I only go to hear the sermon. I usually try to show up late enough to miss the "call to worship" -- the part where people get up and share their woes and ask for prayers -- and leave early enough to miss the offering and communion. I haven't connected with anyone there because I'm not ready to reveal myself to anyone and to let anyone in, but I may start doing that by attending a bible class or a women's worship.

It's not drudgery, it's not something I do to make anyone happy. It's my desire to go there and learn and sing and pray with other people about a God I love and that loves me. It's a very healing thing for me. A great way to start my week!

Andi: I feel the same way you do about worshipping. Although I am not completely integrated, I do miss it when I don't go.

I have been attending the Church of Christ in my local area. They have congregations in countries all over the world. There is a directory on this page if you're interested in finding one in your area. http://church-of-christ.org/.

69

I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

by findingmyway in

for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.

i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.

yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.

findingmyway

I do not live with my parents, but being as extremely dependent as I was a few years ago, I bought a house 1 block away. I have a very weird relationship with my parents and siblings. They are all baptized, and they are on the fence when it comes to shunning me. I know that they are torn, but they will not fully compromise. It is confusing and frustrating for me because I never know how they are going to be. They don't hesitate to call when they need me and, although I try to keep it to a minimum, I call them when I need them as well. For example, my mother called me to ask if I could go to the home of my youngest sister (who has two children - one who is currently suffering with asthma) to teach her how to use the nebulizer (asthma treatment) for my nephew. Of course, I'm going to go. Until recently, I have always depended on my mother to assist me with child care for my son. I recently enrolled him in a boys and girls club with a stellar afterschool program (they pick the children up from school, do homework, and have activities). So I no longer need her, except occasionally when I have to work late and need her to pick my son up from the aftercare program. Now that she doesn't keep my son after school, she doesn't have many opportunities to "witness" to him. Thankfully. We don't engage in meaningful conversations, but we do speak when necessary. It seems that they try to find reasons to call or speak to me. The weird part is that whenever their conscience starts to eat at them, they shut down and shun me as they should as good JWs. I was at my parents house the other day to pick up something for my son and my mother had twisted her ankle. They were trying to remember if they had crutches in the house. I remembered that there was a walker in the basement, so I joked that she could use that. They laughed and carried on a brief conversation about what I had just said as though I wasn't in the room. It's weird. But no matter how you spin it, in order for me to have a "normal" relationship with my family, it would have to be on their terms. That's the painful part. I love them regardless of anything else and nothing could change how I feel for or behave towards them. Will they respect my wishes not to study with my son? I believe so. Will they respect my wishes not to discuss any topics of religion with him? I doubt it. Can I separate him from the organization without severing his relationship with my family? It's hard to tell since they always send mixed messages (talking sometimes and ignoring me other times). It's just a matter of mustering up the courage to say those things to them.

69

I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

by findingmyway in

for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.

i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.

yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.

findingmyway

I think the photo of the man (LL Cool J) may lead some of you to think that I am a daddy, but I am actually a mommy...

69

I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

by findingmyway in

for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.

i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.

yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.

findingmyway

Thanks all for your supportive words. My son is 9 years old. He was so caught up in the moment of praise and acceptance that I don't think he realized what was said, and I did not give him any indication that I was hurt or upset.

I agree that the KH and association with JWs needs to be replaced with another fun, healthy activitiy. He likes to play sports and is active at the local boys and girls club. Basketball season is starting soon, followed by baseball and football. I have every intention of allowing him to indulge in this interest. I wonder how many of his games they will attend? I can bet that there will be none. Funny thing is that my dad asked if he could stay home from school to practice his bible reading. I allowed it under the condition that he complete his homework for the day. No attention was given to homework at all. He spent over 8 hours at their home and no one had the sense to sit him down to have him do his homework. When he got home after 9:30 p.m. I had to make sure that his homework was completed. No different from when we were young. Too much attention was given to reading the Watchtower and next to none was given to education.

As for having the discussion with him about not attending the KH anymore, I need to pray on this and probably will still need a little coaching. I think he and I just need to go out to dinner and have a heart to heart on the matter. Last school year, when my mother told one of his JW classmate's parents that I was df'd, and the classmate, in turn told him, he was devastated. He hated the way he found out and he hated that my mother felt that it was her responsibility to tell my business. His head was spinning with questions of "what could my mother have possibly done to get df'd"? He just kept saying that it isn't right that they treat you like this. I suppose since he feels so strongly about that, we can have a discussion on shunning.

After my mother did that, I told her that if my son ever had questions on that subject, she was to direct him to me and never discuss this with him again.

69

I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

by findingmyway in

for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.

i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.

yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.

findingmyway

For those of you who will be disgusted that I even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages. I take full responsibility for what I experienced this evening. Yet, I feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged. I've had about all I can take at this point...now on to the story.

A couple of months ago my son expressed to my parents that he wanted to join the theocratic ministry school. They shared this with me, and my response was o.k. Not o.k. sign him up, but o.k. I'll think about it. The next evening I had to work late and needed them to watch him for me, which coincidentally was the night of the TMS. When he came home he announced (excitedly) that he had joined the TMS. I just didn't know what to do. He knows that I am df'd, but I haven't expressed to him yet that I don't want to attend the meetings anymore. As I already mentioned, I take full responsibility for what I experienced this evening.

I allowed him to give his talk. My plan was...you know, I really didn't have a plan. I am so filled with regret and anger that I can't even think straight. Anyway...

He had the bible reading and did an awesome job. After he finished his talk, he got the applause and just a wonderful response from the audience. O.k. here's where it gets ridiculous!

The School Overseer gives his commendation and goes on to give a speech about how great it is that he has grandparents, uncles and aunts in the truth to guide him and keep him close to Jehovah. He said it is obvious that someone spent time with him practicing his talk because he pronounced every word perfectly. He gave all the praise to my parents for supporting my son. Mind you, this person has known me all my life and saw me sitting in the rear with my family. O.k. I'm heated, but finally he says:

"It feels like he belongs to us." And everyone joined together in applause again.

I had to leave the room.

I have to admit. Until that moment, I never thought of this religion as a "cult", but how dare they say that my son BELONGS TO THEM. What the heck!

I almost hit the roof! It took everything in me not to explode! Not to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs that they are such hypocrites. It wasn't bad enough that they spoke of him as though he was an orphan. But these people do not know my child. He doesn't go the meetings and I don't even know why they allowed him to join the TMS in the first place. These people...not one of these people...my family included...do not spend any time with my child. They don't know him. They don't know his nature. They don't know his heart. They don't know his like and dislikes. They don't even know what grade he is in. How dare he announce right in my face that the reason my son is so well mannered and can read so well (because that is all they know of him) is because of my parents! It has been months since we last attended, but he and I will never set foot in another KH EVER AGAIN!

I can't bear a tongue lashing right now, so please...if you must, DON'T. I just needed to vent.

23

Does your pinkie fit in your ear lobe ? Superstitions

by Crumpet in

when i was younger i remember my jw best friend had a bible study who was malaysian i think and he passed on some superstitions.

i wonder if any of you have heard of them before.. if you have a very thin/short upper lip you will have a tendency to be thrifty and if very thin you will be mean.. if you can fit your pinkie/little finger in the dip in your ear lobe you will be very sensuous and extremely so if you can fit it neatly by breadth and up to the first bendy bit ( sorry is that called a knuckle) you will be highly sexualised.. and can you encircle your left wrist with the thumb and little finger of your right hand.

if so you will be lucky even when you make bad choices.. try them and see if there's any truth in it.

findingmyway

lol, same here. My second toe is longer than my big toe and I'm not married. So, should we conclude that, when your second toe is longer than your big toe, you won't get married?

LOL! Possibly...but I'd choose singleness over being married to someone I could dominate any day.

23

Does your pinkie fit in your ear lobe ? Superstitions

by Crumpet in

when i was younger i remember my jw best friend had a bible study who was malaysian i think and he passed on some superstitions.

i wonder if any of you have heard of them before.. if you have a very thin/short upper lip you will have a tendency to be thrifty and if very thin you will be mean.. if you can fit your pinkie/little finger in the dip in your ear lobe you will be very sensuous and extremely so if you can fit it neatly by breadth and up to the first bendy bit ( sorry is that called a knuckle) you will be highly sexualised.. and can you encircle your left wrist with the thumb and little finger of your right hand.

if so you will be lucky even when you make bad choices.. try them and see if there's any truth in it.

findingmyway

My Guyanese friends say that if your second toe is longer than your big toe you will rule over your husband.

My second toe is longer than my big toe. It's a family trait. But I heard that it was a sign of intelligence. I'm not married, but I hope the latter is true because I don't want to rule over my husband. I don't like weak men.

48

so what are the "anointed" you know/knew like?

by nowisee in

there were two quite old females in my congregation.

sweet.

but then they died.. i met several members of gb.

findingmyway

I knew of 2. One was a married elder. Very nice man. The other was an elderly woman who was a bit delusional. She eventually stopped coming to the meetings because her mental capacity was down to zero. People would find her wandering in the neighborhood and unaware of what was going on around her.