the_leander

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Posts by the_leander

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  17

  Battlestar Galactica

  by Willow Tree in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  does anybody here watch this?

  i missed the first season, i saw the movie sky one showed before the second season started, and now i'm hooked.

  i bought the dvd's, both mini-series/movie and season one from amazon while they were on sale.

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  the_leander

  Battlestar Galactica may only be at season 2 for the UK, but the US has just started its season 3.
  
  
  Bittorrent is your friend.
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  12

  Could This Be Done???

  by Frannie Banannie in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i wonder what would happen if "in-good-standing" (not outed) jdubyas could start webpages locally containing kh and bethel scandals and gossip and news (not wts news, just cong members' news).. they could build the site anonymously via an anonymous isp, couldn't they?.

  then they could provide info for concerned parents on pedophiles within the congs and expose some of the hateful things that the heirarchy says and does at the kh and at brothel bethel.. they advocate spying on each other?

  good.

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  the_leander

  But by that same token it would almost certainly be dismissed as "Apostate lies and theories, with no basis in reality" or some such BS.
  
  To have any impact, it would have to include names dates and locations, and in doing so would make it a simple case of deduction to figure out where it was all coming from.
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  7

  What's this about hospital liason can get access to your medical records?

  by crankytoe in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  hello, i think i read something like this last week, but i thought it didn't concern me so i didn't pay much attention.

  a close friend of mine is being pressured by one of the "friends" to let them be their hospital liason, - or whatever the term is that allows someone from the hall to speak for you if you're incapacitated and in need of surgery.

  they were going to do it, until i told them i read "somewhere" that this liason can get access to their medical records/history.

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  the_leander

  My wife signed one of these documents not long ago. I noted that she gave full control over to the hospital liason commitee. I did however say that no such letter would be permissable for my son until he was of a legal age to do so for himself. I barely got out of the room that day with my skin intact hehe.
  
  What I did find out recently is that even though my Wife and I have been married 3 years, her next of kin on ALL documents I have thus far located have been her Father, an Elder. I am barely given a mention... I guess not being a witness I should accept my second class status...
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  2

  Interesting thing happened the other day...

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my wife, quite out of the blue turned to me and said "i think that if we didn't have tomas (our son) then my parents wouldn't have gotten back in touch.

  " she then immediately attempted to write off the feeling as being silly.

  i concurred with her statement, and pointed out to her the numbers - prior to telling them, their contact could be measured on the fingers of one hand, and after, it was every week without fail, indeed, they couldn't do enough for her... .

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  the_leander

  My wife, quite out of the blue turned to me and said "I think that if we didn't have Tomas (Our son) then my parents wouldn't have gotten back in touch." She then immediately attempted to write off the feeling as being silly.
  
  I concurred with her statement, and pointed out to her the numbers - prior to telling them, their contact could be measured on the fingers of one hand, and after, it was every week without fail, indeed, they couldn't do enough for her...
  
  I wonder if I should have stopped at simply agreeing with her initial hypothosis, since the shutters went down and it went into a full scale argument about how I was wrong to attack her parents like that (err_WTF?)...
  
  Interesting though that she came to that conclusion without any prompting whatsoever. Though I really should have just left it at agreeing with her and or getting her to expand on what she felt, rather then jumping in with my size 9's.
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  25

  My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first and formost i'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.

  up until about two weeks ago, i was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as i write this, i am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, i really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not.

  i'm not a jw, i never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, i never will be.

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  the_leander

  I'd like to thank everyone who has responded to my initial post, I'm sorry I've not been able to reply as freely as I should have, but whilst I don't mind the idea of someone who knows everyone involved reading it online, it would cause undue pressure for me if the missus read it first hand until I'm ready to make my next move (or maybe even a few moves after).
  
  I've studied a little of the history of the witnesses here and elsewhere online, and know their tactics inside out.
  
  I was once in one of my darker, more stupid moments a scientologist, which whilst it was a terrible move (thats typical British understatement, if you didn't guess), did come with some perks - an innate understanding of how to control people and spot such tactics being used on others. I vowed never to use what I know against anyone when I pulled away from them (and have kept that vow), but I made damned sure I was up to snuff on spotting such mechanisms being used on others.
  
  I even made the point of going through in exacting detail what those controls were after each home visit, from body posture, to the use of emotional blackmail and the loaded language. Each time, I made sure she understood precisely how they were attempting to control her. Hell, on a couple of occations I ended up telling the woman who used to do the visits to sit back as her body language was opressive (Which went down quicker then a lead balloon I can tell you - they really don't like this stuff being pointed out to them).
  
  I am however, at a loss to what my next move is, certainly, I cannot go on treading on eggshells as I have done for the past 20 or so months, and if I go to war, (courts etc) the victory would at best be pyrrhic... I guess what I'm asking is, what are my other options?
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  25

  My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first and formost i'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.

  up until about two weeks ago, i was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as i write this, i am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, i really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not.

  i'm not a jw, i never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, i never will be.

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  the_leander

  >If your wife cheated on you, shouldn't she be disfellowshipped again?
  
  I would have thought so, but I've never said anything, I considered that it was something that she should do on her own concience.
  
  Besides, who is dear ol dad going to believe? His zealot like dub daughter, or his heathen non dub son in law?
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  25

  My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first and formost i'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.

  up until about two weeks ago, i was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as i write this, i am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, i really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not.

  i'm not a jw, i never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, i never will be.

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  the_leander

  "Its made me wonder if my soon to be hubby is scared that i would go back.....and whether when im pregnant with his child if my folks will do the same thing."
  
  Tbh the fact you're on here would suggest you have more intellegence and power over your own destiny then she did. I didn't know about this place up until a few months ago, I think having somewhere like this to go to, for both of us, prior to our getting married might have made the difference tbh.
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  25

  My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first and formost i'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.

  up until about two weeks ago, i was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as i write this, i am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, i really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not.

  i'm not a jw, i never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, i never will be.

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  the_leander

  Clarification:
  
  "I stuck with her when she went to Wales, and got it on with someone she'd met online."
  
  It was her who was unfaithful - She went to Wales with the specific intention of having it away with this guy she met online. A friend of mine pointed out that this might come across differently unless clarified.
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  25

  My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first and formost i'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.

  up until about two weeks ago, i was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as i write this, i am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, i really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not.

  i'm not a jw, i never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, i never will be.

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  the_leander

  May I ask, would you mind if your post was refered to, when a young person comes here, asking advice, on marrying a JW? So many come here, thinking they can change them, from being a Witness. You are proof of the heartache a person has to endure. What has been done to you is just wrong. I wish for you to have a happier life.
  
  By all means go ahead.
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  25

  My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

  by the_leander in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first and formost i'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.

  up until about two weeks ago, i was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as i write this, i am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, i really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not.

  i'm not a jw, i never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, i never will be.

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• 

  the_leander

  Greetings!
  
  First and formost I'd like to say thankyou to everyone who has ever posted here before, your posts have made me laugh, cry smile and frown.
  
  Up until about two weeks ago, I was nervous about posting here, tonight, at 5:04am as I write this, I am no longer so, the fact of the matter is, I really don't give a damn as to whether or not someone in the local congrigation reads this or not. For me, its gone too far.
  
  I'm not a JW, I never have been, and barring getting really steamingly drunk for a good few years on the trot or suffering some other similarly catastrophic brain trauma, I never will be.
  
  I am however, married to one, I have been for about 2 years now. The woman I got engaged to 3 years ago was a disfellowshipped ex witness with a wonderful mind and a child like curiosity. But as the saying goes: all things change in a dynamic environment, and so it was with us, we went through some pretty rough patches, no money, no food, but we survived, we were strong, and for the most part happy together. About 8 months before we were due to marry, my wife got the first of two phone calls from her father, a JW "elder". In call he informed her that since she showed no signs of wanting to return to the fold, he would have to write her off, to litterally consider her dead. More to the point, her parents actually recieved the sorts of cards one usually only considers appropriate when one has had a death in the family. My wife, understandably was devistated, my stepfather and myself spent the better part of half a day calming her down and getting out of her what had been said. Upon the above revolation, we (me and dad) were ready to go up to her fathers house and give him a damned good kicking for being, in my stepdads words "a sh!t"(This is one of only two times since I've known him that he has been reduced to profanity, so this is a measure of just how irritated he was). My wife, even though destroyed, begged us not to. Although annoyed still, we complied, that day, there was a Christian on one end of that phonecall, but it wasn't the Elder.
  The second phone call came about a month before the wedding, it was her father, calling out of the blue asking us for the exact date of the wedding (aparently they had "lost" the invite we sent to them), she told him, somewhat excited at the prospect of her parents comming, only to hear in the background her grandmother (another JW) and her mother (a fanatical JW) discussing holiday destinations... Yes, you guessed it, they were getting the date so that they would be far away from the wedding. The twisted SOB's couldn't even have kept quiet during the phone call...
  The wedding came, Vicky got a phonecall from her folks congratulating her and slipping in the sly dig about why they couldn't come (my being a devil worshiping pagan etc etc etc I'm not, btw, devil worshiping)...
  For months of nothing. No calls, no letters, nada, they blanked her on the streets, they really did treat her like she was dead. Then she found that she was pregnant, I suggested (wrongly perhaps) that they should have no knoledge of this child, if they can't even treat her like a human being and their daughter. But I stupidly relented after weeks of protests.. She told them, and the spin machine couldn't fire up fast enough, before I could blink, they were around every day, couldn't do enough for us. She was back in the meetings, and well on the way to reinstatement, which happened just before the birth of our Son, Tomas.
  
  As she grew closer to the JW's, she pulled further and further from me, I watched as her innate curiousity and intellect were smothered in their BS teachings. I watched as they stuck their claws back into her so deeply that there was no way for me to get her back.
  
  But I stuck with it, through the false accusations of sleeping around, through the ultra judgemental attitude that quickly developed, and through her ever more hostile attitude toward me, forbidden even from practicing my own beliefs. I stuck with her when she went to Wales, and got it on with someone she'd met online. And I stick with her even as she is pregnant a second time (yes, its mine). Every day I walk on eggshells, wondering what todays justification will be for the balling out, I have become a pathetic excuse for a human being, and now, to finish off the job, they're putting on the full show for my 20 month old son, I'm going to have to watch as they destroy him, as they destroyed her, and render him unable to function without industrial strengh meds, just like his mother.
  
  I am become death, only its my world that has been destroyed.