I think i am stumbled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought i was perfect. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
GOD BLESS ME!!!
like a flower
"you are like a flower.
in that you bloom in the light and hide in the dark.
I think i am stumbled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought i was perfect. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
GOD BLESS ME!!!
my surgery (hysterectomy) is scheduled for this friday and i'm getting really nervous.........nervous that the cancer may have spread, nervous about the pain, nervous about what i'm going to go through mentally, physically and emotionally afterwards (i guess i'll be going through the change of life real quick).
i've done pretty good so far: am trying to keep positive, eating right, exercising (i've lost 15 lbs!
), meditating, and i'm going on tuesday to someone who does reiki (i think that's how you spell it).
thinking of you and wishing the best...not an easy thing to go through...sending lots of hugs and cyber support....hang in there....
hi, this is windrider,.
i thought i would take some time, collect my thoughts and observe.
what has transpired concerning the recent "siege of the watchtower.".
hi and welcome to the board.....
i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply... my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no.
meetings, association ect for over one year now... we were watching the news,,and pres.
bush was talking about the u.n.. with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how.
i am so grateful to you all...really!!!! (((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply... my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no.
meetings, association ect for over one year now... we were watching the news,,and pres.
bush was talking about the u.n.. with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how.
very good points,,out4good,,,,thank you very much,,,,i get so frustrated some times i just want to
shred them all to pieces...i am feeling alot better,,,god,,,knows i vented enough today,,,it just all
seems so sick,,,,
Padulan.....nothing real specific,,,but i talk alot in therapy,,and i have been trying to just be a "good"
wife,,,with out the witness part,,,it is not bad,,,i just CANNOT deal with spiritual things at all...
hi onacruse!!! thank you so much for your kind words...yeah,,have not been in chat lately...working
hard (10-6a),,,( school and holiday time now),,,,not suppose to use the computer until after 10p,,,so
just haven't bothered at all with chat lately...(((((( ona and mrs. ona))))))
i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply... my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no.
meetings, association ect for over one year now... we were watching the news,,and pres.
bush was talking about the u.n.. with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how.
we have had posts on how we are responsible for our own actions,,,and CANNOT blame the organization for everything!!! well,,,here goes,,,
no matter how correct that assumption is,,,,I SIMPLY DO NOT FEEL LIKE
BEING THAN DAMN MATURE...
I BLAME THEM FOR 99.9% for
EVERY THING....jjirzo,,,yes,,i agree,,,
it has been a major source of pain...i am not angry at the people,,just
all of the doctrine..
i used to look at my mother in law and hope she would die so she could
be in the new system!! HOW SICK IS THAT??? lets hope people die so we
can be with them>> death is good,,,because it is one less person for
god to kill???? SHUDDER!!! i BELIEVED THAT one time...
well,,,you all understand,,,i know you do,,,you also know i could just
go on and on and on...i need a drink....Hubby made it home from the
talk,,,but then the phone rang,,,you know.."meeting set up at the hall
tonight for 7...some poor teenager is probably in trouble up to his ass!
i could not listen to another local needs if they paid me a million
dollars....i remember a young sister crying during one,,,god how awful..
oh my,,,rant and rave,,,I AM UP SET,,,,DOES IT SHOW??????? HAHAHHA
YEAH,,i am feeling a bit better...just an intense day,,it will pass.
i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply... my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no.
meetings, association ect for over one year now... we were watching the news,,and pres.
bush was talking about the u.n.. with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how.
i already feel better...thank you all so much...rough day,,,but then everybody here has them...how
can you have anything to do with witnesses and not have bad days!!
i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply... my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no.
meetings, association ect for over one year now... we were watching the news,,and pres.
bush was talking about the u.n.. with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how.
thanks lyin,,,,i am just having a crap day today...(PMS) thought i would go public with it!!
i have been married almost 30 years,,,,not all of it bad...but truth wise it has been a nite mare!!!
is it me?? is it him?? is it what the organization teaches?? doubts,,guilt,,,insecurities,,more guilt,, seems like a damn roller coaster from hell...i just cannot take it...i do not know how he cannot understand??? all that matters to him is,,"the organization"...nothing else exists>nothing!!
i cannot go back to it...i threw my book bag out today!!! mad me feel better..i do not mean to whine and cry so much,,,,i am just,,,,yadda yadda,,,i know you understand...thank you. tomorrow will be better...."sigh"
this has been a most dreadful 2 weeks for me.
my mother, a faithful jw, finally died after a long illness.i had been by her side all the way., my brother& wife , the jw ,rarely made an apperance-but showed up at last minute to make sure he got her jewelry.
he rarely showed up because i am not active so not considered good association.also he had no close feelings for her.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( wednesday )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply... my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no.
meetings, association ect for over one year now... we were watching the news,,and pres.
bush was talking about the u.n.. with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how.
jjrizo,,,,
my hubby is abusive,,,but mentally not at all physically...i could bring him "down" in a minute...i have a tape recording of one the spiritual
abuse "sessons"....he would be disfellowshipped for a long time should
i ever reveal it...
why don't i do it??? i am not physically or mentally in a position to
be on my own..also,,,i do not wish to hurt my daughter...it would be
devistating to her...
i am under a doctors care,,and in therapy,,,i have improved so much...
although the progress is slow,,,it is non the less,,progressive..
some day,,i would like to walk out the door,,as a whole person,,and
be me,,,with a new life...
will,,that day ever come??? i do not know..but for now,,i still need
him...i am 50 years old,,lots of physical health problems,,mentally
not strong,,ect ect..you get the picture...
how is he still an elder??? hahahahahahaha...god, that is so funny!!!
it is a very small hall...he is very "popular" (everybodies friend)
he tells them i am violent and mentally ill...they believe him!! he
is "doing his best". he is faithful,,and after all,,he is not
responsible for a "crazy persons actions"...
ok,,i am really venting today...i don't do this often,,you think this
is bad,,,you should hear me in therapy!!! but it is so nice to talk
here and with a therapist because there is no punishment,,,
i am very truthful...so it is a nice "release" for me...thank you.