when i left the watchtower i realised it was best to put friendships on hold.
however i mentioned to my best friend that i didn't agree with how they handled child abuse issues and that was one of the reasons i left.. anyway as i am fortunate and own two rental apartments and he is a plumber so we have kept in contact, in that i email him when i require his services and he sends me the invoice.
anyway i am now dissociated, but yesterday i emailed him about a pluming problem, and he replied.. " sorry we missed going to the indian ( this was a comment made about us having a meal together about 9 months ago, which i backed out of because i felt he was too indoctrinated and i had not disassociated myself) anyway his email continued:-.
I say go to a meal with him and just act like a friend. If he brings up the pedophile problem or asks questions, answer them. I wouldn't unload everything on him. Let him ask questions first. Then you can start asking him questions to lead him to the answers. Just like we were taught as JWs, use leading questions.
Helping Someone Leave is my favorite page on jwfacts.com.
bank - thank you for maintaining your loan repayments for the past 3 years.
to show our appreciation we are forgiving the balance of your loan.
borrower - yeah!.
so i decided yesterday to give my wife's full disclosure.
not sure it was the best decision considering she holds very firmly to the resurrection hope so we can see our babies again.. anyways she is agreeable to begin a study to find a better truth.
where is a good place to go to get some good reliable biblical info on the web that we can consider together?.
so i decided yesterday to give my wife's full disclosure.
not sure it was the best decision considering she holds very firmly to the resurrection hope so we can see our babies again.. anyways she is agreeable to begin a study to find a better truth.
where is a good place to go to get some good reliable biblical info on the web that we can consider together?.
that final song was like icing on the cake. Lost it for a bit.
That song was horrendous. It was so cultish I couldn't stand it.
just got a phone call from an older sister saying that a couple that got re-assigned from bethel 4 years ago to live at their kh apartment as special pioneers, just received a letter saying "as of january 2016, your special pioneer assignment will be discontinued".. they live in a south miami kh(snapper creek congregation).. this couple had only served in bethel for 15 years before they were sent out into the special pioneer work.
they are now in their mid 50's and the sister said that they have to find part time jobs to support themselves.. the older sister (does not have a pc or internet), says that the couple are just devastated!
.
so i decided yesterday to give my wife's full disclosure.
not sure it was the best decision considering she holds very firmly to the resurrection hope so we can see our babies again.. anyways she is agreeable to begin a study to find a better truth.
where is a good place to go to get some good reliable biblical info on the web that we can consider together?.
as many of you know, my ex-husband was removed as an elder for child abuse.
i was told at the time he would never be reappointed in any capacity.
yet i heard today he was appointed as an account servant.
Most of the direction from the branch is regarding child sexual abuse. The elder's manual states:
ks10 pg 38
20. If the sin occurred before he was appointed as an elder or a ministerial servant, the elders will need to take into consideration the fact that he should have mentioned this possible impediment to his being qualified when elders interviewed him just prior to announcing his appointment. Moreover, the nature of the sin may reflect greatly on his qualifications to serve. For example, the sin may involve past child abuse, and this would likely disqualify him for many years.—w97 1/1 pp. 26-29; w77 pp. 697-698.
And the most recent letter regarding child abuse states:
15. Who is considered a known child molester? The January 1, 1997, Watchtower article “Let Us Abhor What Is Wicked” mentions on page 29 that a man “known to have been a child molester” does not qualify for privileges in the congregation. The expression “known to have been a child molester” has reference to how such a man is considered in the community and in the Christian congregation. In the eyes of the congregation, an adult “known” to be a former child molester is not “free from accusation” or “irreprehensible,” nor does he have “a fine testimony from people on the outside.” (1 Tim. 3:1-7, 10; 5:22; Titus 1:7) In view of his past, those in the community would not respect him and congregation members might be stumbled over his appointment. Keep in mind that the branch office, not the local body of elders, determines whether one who has sexually abused a child is considered a known child molester.
22. It cannot be said in every case that one who has sexually abused a child could never qualify for privileges of service in the congregation. However, the elders will certainly want to be very cautious, especially when dealing with one who had repeatedly engaged in this kind of wrongdoing or who had been disfellowshipped for such an offense. Before privileges can be extended, such a man must meet the Scriptural qualifications of being “self-controlled” and “irreprehensible.” He must “also have a fine testimony” from individuals inside and outside the congregation. (Titus 1:6-8; 1 Tim. 3:2, 7) Elders should keep in mind what is stated in the Re: Child abuse October 1, 2012 Page 6 January 1, 1997, Watchtower article “Let Us Abhor What Is Wicked,” page 29, paragraph 2: “Child sexual abuse reveals an unnatural fleshly weakness. Experience has shown that such an adult may well molest other children. True, not every child molester repeats the sin, but many do. And the congregation cannot read hearts to tell who is and who is not liable to molest children again. (Jeremiah 17:9) Hence, Paul’s counsel to Timothy applies with special force in the case of baptized adults who have molested children: ‘Never lay your hands hastily upon any man; neither be a sharer in the sins of others.’ (1 Timothy 5:22).”
23. Hence, privileges of service should never be extended hastily. Considerable time should always pass before one who has sexually abused a child is recommended, if ever. It would be up to the local body of elders to determine whether such a recommendation should be made to the branch office, taking into account all factors in each individual case. Please note that unless specifically approved by the branch office, one who has sexually abused a child should not be used to conduct any meetings held in the congregation or in a prison, and he does not qualify to work on any Kingdom Hall project other than one involving the congregation where he serves as a publisher.
bank - thank you for maintaining your loan repayments for the past 3 years.
to show our appreciation we are forgiving the balance of your loan.
borrower - yeah!.
this came up in another thread and i wondered if any one else thought this way while they were still in..... - that it is actually better not to preach as people who don't hear "the truth" are said to be given a resurrection rather than the poor saps who refused a paltry magazine and now merit everlasting destruction..
Funny enough, even though I believed that those who had not heard the "Good News" would probably survive the Big A, I never thought that it would be better to not preach at all. I'm sure it was full-on CD causing my brain to short-circuit. Preaching was ingrained in me as a child and I always felt that it was my duty so I couldn't question it.
I've presented that same question to my wife and I can see her brain trying to reason that question away. I know it messes with the perfectly constructed world in her head, but I can't quit trying to get her to think.
so, when people post about being shunned by their friends, i've heard several posters say things like, "their friendship is conditional.
real friendships aren't conditional.".
i'm sorry, but that just isn't really true.. if you and i were friends, there are conditions.
I agree with you. There are always conditions to any relationship. The question is who is setting the conditions. Are the conditions set between me and the other person alone or is some outside entity setting the conditions?
BTW…having gone through divorce and so forth, THEN a year later having gone through being shunned by everyone I knew including family ... isolating someone is one of the most worst things you can do to a person.
I went through the exact same thing; divorce and then df'd a year later. Being isolated and shunned is the single worst experience of my life. I loved my ex and was devastated when she left, but being shunned by everyone I knew was so much worse.
