COMF

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Posts by COMF

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  16

  Just a little comedy to brighten up your I-Day

  by slipnslidemaster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://members.aol.com/cygnus97/index/sounds/onlygo.wav.

  slipnslidemaster: "do, or do not.

  - yoda

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  COMF

  Ah, what a day-brightener! Thanks to all who had a part in it, even the doofy-sounding singer.

  COMF
• 
  14

  Good Bye Everyeone

  by proplog2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am against official censorship.

  i feel it is each individuals responsibility to walk away from groups that you find offensive.

  although i am an a-theist i am not a-moral.. in greek mythology you have prometheus and epimetheus.

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  COMF

  Vaya con whatever, proplog2. Best of luck to you in finding that Happy Discussing Ground where everybody fits your vision of what they should be.

  COMF
• 
  90

  POLL - Elders vs Molesters

  by Amazing in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i wish to conduct a legitimate poll, or at least as legitimate as it can get on this forum.

  unless you are or were a jw, please do not respond or make comments.

  please simply give an answer, without extended comments.

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  COMF

  I knew of two.

  COMF
• 

  The Poop on Secular Spirituality

  by COMF in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from the secular spirituality website sunchild linked (thanks, sc!):.

  spirituality, demystified, is simply a natural aspect of human psychology.

  much of what falls under the banner of the spiritual has nothing to do with belief in spirits or deities or anything supernatural.

• 

  COMF

  From the Secular Spirituality website Sunchild linked (thanks, SC!):

  Spirituality, demystified, is simply a natural aspect of human psychology. Much of what falls under the banner of the spiritual has nothing to do with belief in spirits or deities or anything supernatural. Rather, it has to do with consciously pursuing a meaningful life, according to however one might define what makes life meaningful. It has to do with attending to one's inner life, to one's attitude toward and outlook on life. Spirituality is the realm of hopes and dreams, of values and ideals. It has to do with seeking and maintaining balance, externally and internally, and with focusing on the non-material aspects of one's life.

  Amen, sistazz and brothazz! I wholeheartedly agree. And in celebrating the spirituality in the secular, no one outdoes the erstwhile poet, W. H. Auden.

  The Geography of the House
  by W. H. Auden

  Seated after breakfast
  In this white-tiled cabin
  Arabs call The House where
  Everybody goes,
  Even melancholics
  Raise a cheer to Mrs.
  Nature for the primal
  Pleasures she bestows.

  Sex is but a dream to
  Seventy-and-over,
  But a joy proposed un-
  -til we start to shave:
  Mouth-delight depends on
  Virtue in the cook, but
  This She guarantees from
  Cradle unto grave.

  Lifted off the potty,
  Infants from their mothers
  Hear their first impartial
  Words of worldly praise:
  Hence, to start the morning
  With a satisfactory
  Dump is a good omen
  All our adult days.

  Revelation came to
  Luther in a privy
  (Cross-words have been solved there)
  Rodin was no fool
  When he cast his Thinker,
  Cogitating deeply,
  Crouched in the position
  Of a man at stool.

  All the Arts derive from
  This ur-act of making,
  Private to the artist:
  Makers' lives are spent
  Striving in their chosen
  Medium to produce a
  De-narcissus-ised en-
  -during excrement.

  Freud did not invent the
  Constipated miser:
  Banks have letter-boxes
  Built in their facade
  Marked For Night Deposits,
  Stocks are firm or liquid,
  Currencies of nations
  Either soft or hard.

  Global Mother, keep our
  Bowels of compassion
  Open throughout our lifetime,
  Purge our minds as well:
  Grant us a kind ending,
  Not a second childhood,
  Petulant, weak-sphinctered,
  In a cheap hotel.

  Keep us in our station:
  When we get pound-noteish,
  When we seem about to
  Take up Higher Thought,
  Send us some deflating
  Image like the pained ex-
  -pression on a Major
  Prophet taken short.

  (Orthodoxy ought to
  Bless our modern plumbing
  Swift and St. Augustine
  Lived in centuries
  When a stench of sewage
  Ever in the nostrils
  Made a strong debating
  Point for Manichees.)

  Mind and Body run on
  Different time-tables:
  Not until our morning
  Visit here can we
  Leave the dead concerns of
  Yesterday behind us,
  Face with all our courage
  What is now to be.
• 
  4

  Say What's on Your Mind

  by COMF in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  live longer that way.. comf.

  - http://www.jibjab.com/cartoons/geezers/swfs/gz_movie01.swf.

  (edited to add this:) oops, sorry... for those of you whose computers are still in 1997--get the flash plugin here.

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  COMF

  Todd, there are at least four of these. I think you can edit the URL to change the number at the end. 01 would be 02, 03, etc. There may be more than four by now, I haven't checked. I agree, I love these guys, too.

  COMF
• 
  4

  Say What's on Your Mind

  by COMF in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  live longer that way.. comf.

  - http://www.jibjab.com/cartoons/geezers/swfs/gz_movie01.swf.

  (edited to add this:) oops, sorry... for those of you whose computers are still in 1997--get the flash plugin here.

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  COMF

  Live longer that way.

  COMF

  - http://www.jibjab.com/cartoons/geezers/swfs/gz_movie01.swf

  (Edited to add this:) Oops, sorry... for those of you whose computers are still in 1997--get the flash plugin here. http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash
• 
  18

  Funny grammatical errors by foreigners......

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as you may know, i will laugh at you if you confuse:.

  hear and here.

  too and to.. i will also, laugh at syntax errors.

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  COMF

  Laughing at your bloody beef, Kent! It reminded me of a guy from the southern US who went to New York. He saw a bagel store and, never having seen one before (they don't have those in the south), decided to go in and try the wares. When it came his turn, he pointed out what he wanted from the glass case. The clerk retrieved it from the tray and then looked at him and said, "Beg."

  The guy hadn't realized this would be part of the purchase process, but being an obliging kind of guy, he put his hands up in front of him, doggie style, lolled his tongue out and panted heavily. The clerk expressionlessly watched him do this for a few moments, and then held up a small paper sack and asked curtly, "Do you vant a beg or don't you?"

  COMF
• 
  18

  Funny grammatical errors by foreigners......

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as you may know, i will laugh at you if you confuse:.

  hear and here.

  too and to.. i will also, laugh at syntax errors.

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  COMF

  Good one, ZaZuWitts! I think the reporters do that stuff on purpose, though. One of my all-time favorites, from The Houston Post in about 1976, when the Pope was touring the world giving speeches:

  "Bomb Thrown Before Pope Speaks"

  Oddly, though, the article didn't reveal what the bomb said.

  COMF
• 
  27

  TRUE Christian Ex-negro Ministry!

  by Kent in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we(tm)re standing for the truth that negroes can change.

  a recent gathering of christians invoking god(tm)s old testament standards, a nationwide ex-negro ministry, drew more than 850 people to london, england, to proclaim that hope for change is possible for those still struggling with acting like a negro.

  thousands of former colored people can celebrate a new life because someone cared enough to share with them the truth of god's healing love.

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  COMF

  Please send your contribution of $1,000 or more to Simon Invoking God’s Old Testament Standards c/o jehovahs-witness.com

  Whoops, part of the humor was lost in the editing here. "Simon" replaced something that started with a B. Wonder what it was? Bible-lovers? Believers? Bullshitters?

  COMF
• 
  18

  Funny grammatical errors by foreigners......

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as you may know, i will laugh at you if you confuse:.

  hear and here.

  too and to.. i will also, laugh at syntax errors.

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  COMF

  Cool! Pedantic ol' me loves this stuff. Note, however, that there are no "foreigners" on this board, it being international from birth. Or else, Simon being a UKer, we Americans are among the foreigners!

  Sign in a Japanese elevator: "Push button of wishing floor."

  Sign in a store somewhere in Europe (I've forgotten what country): "We speak the English as she is goodly spocken."

  But even more fun is to turn to colloquialisms whose original meanings have evolved, or downright disappeared. "Nip it in the butt," for example. Or, "I could care less," which, to make contextual sense, should be, "I couldn't care less."

  I once overheard my brother's mother-in-law (a country gal if there ever was one) state emphatically, "I pacifically told her we would leave at 6:30 sharp." Well, I'm glad she didn't tell her aggressively.

  Ever had anybody issue you an old tomato? (ultimatum)

  I know lots of these, but they won't come to mind at the moment, dangit.

  Pop quiz: syntactically, what's wrong with this sentence? (Or did you do it that way on purpose, and the humor was too subtle for me?)
  

  I will also, laugh at syntax errors.