ROFLMAO!
Dude, you really are a riot. I hope you're putting that razor wit to use somehow, writing editorial articles or sitcom scripts.
1: if i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, i am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2: and if i have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, i am nothing.
3: if i give away all i have, and if i deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, i gain nothing.
ROFLMAO!
Dude, you really are a riot. I hope you're putting that razor wit to use somehow, writing editorial articles or sitcom scripts.
i must be a glutton for punnishment or something, but here i go again, broaching the subject of speaking english in america.. apparently a law was recently passed in austria that people must satisfactorily pass a basic german language skills test in a few months or they will be fined.
if they do not master basic german in 4 years, they can be kicked out of the country.
many people interviewed in the article mentioned that they are too poor to afford the classes.
I like the idea of sticking with one language, the one commonly spoken. I don't have a problem with other languages being used in addition, as, for example, when I go to a store in a predominantly Mexican part of town and find everything labeled in Spanish as well as English. I would be grateful to find English beside the native language signs and labels in any foreign country I visited, although I wouldn't expect it.
However, I do wish that the United States would dispose of English as its primary language and adopt one that is better structured; Spanish, for example. I don't know Spanish very well, but I studied it four years in high school (nobody to practice with = forgotten now). I recall that Spanish had logical and consistent conjugation of verbs, and I liked the association of gender in so much of their speech. Best of all, Spanish doesn't have such a mass of inconsistencies of pronunciation and spelling (through, tough; hew, sew; their, they're, there).
Yep, if we did it my way, we'd discard English and learn a language worth speaking.
learn to work the toilet seat.
you're a big girl.
if it's up, put it down.. sometimes, we are not thinking about you.
My opinion? When going out, women dress for other women
Of course! Who else could it be for? They don't want the men to ogle, remember?
men are like,.
lava lamps.. fun to look at, but not very bright.. laxatives.. they irritate the sh*t out of you.. bananas.. the older they get, the less firm they are.. vacations.. they never seem to be long enough.. bank machines.. once they withdraw, they lose intrest.. weather.. nothing can be done to change them.. cement.. after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.. commercials.. you cant believe a word they say.. government bonds.. they take so long to mature.. horoscopes.. they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.. mascara.. they usually run at the first sign of emotion.. popcorn.. they satisfy you, but only for a little while.. snowstorms.. you never know when they are comming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.. blenders.
you need one, but you're not quite sure why.. parking spots.. the good ones are all taken and the rest are all handicapped.
You didn't offend me, Heaven. Even the stuff you posted didn't offend me. I just didn't find it funny. As I pointed out, the focus is on personal and collective inadequacy. As a positive-thinking person, I don't find derogatory blanket categorizations of either gender entertaining. It's just a humorless to me when I read "jokes" that assume or assert inadequacy in all women.
If you think it's funny, fine. I expressed my view. That's all it was: my view.
COMF
men are like,.
lava lamps.. fun to look at, but not very bright.. laxatives.. they irritate the sh*t out of you.. bananas.. the older they get, the less firm they are.. vacations.. they never seem to be long enough.. bank machines.. once they withdraw, they lose intrest.. weather.. nothing can be done to change them.. cement.. after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.. commercials.. you cant believe a word they say.. government bonds.. they take so long to mature.. horoscopes.. they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.. mascara.. they usually run at the first sign of emotion.. popcorn.. they satisfy you, but only for a little while.. snowstorms.. you never know when they are comming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.. blenders.
you need one, but you're not quite sure why.. parking spots.. the good ones are all taken and the rest are all handicapped.
but I guess you would have to be a woman to actually notice them.
Uh... yeah, that makes sense.
God am I glad my man has a sense of humor.
He, by the way, found this very funny.
Well, if your man found it very funny, then by god, it's very funny! The rest of us are just inadequate when it comes to humor as well as everything else.
men are like,.
lava lamps.. fun to look at, but not very bright.. laxatives.. they irritate the sh*t out of you.. bananas.. the older they get, the less firm they are.. vacations.. they never seem to be long enough.. bank machines.. once they withdraw, they lose intrest.. weather.. nothing can be done to change them.. cement.. after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.. commercials.. you cant believe a word they say.. government bonds.. they take so long to mature.. horoscopes.. they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.. mascara.. they usually run at the first sign of emotion.. popcorn.. they satisfy you, but only for a little while.. snowstorms.. you never know when they are comming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.. blenders.
you need one, but you're not quite sure why.. parking spots.. the good ones are all taken and the rest are all handicapped.
neither can deal with being joked about by the other gender!
Not so, BM! I love to read humor about men along the same line as what Teejay put up. But digs about our typical ways of behaving and thinking are not the same as rejecting our collective and individual worth.
Here's some stuff that I think is funny:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a pretty blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
Q: What is the difference between men and women:....
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg ?
A. They don't stop for directions.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
men are like,.
lava lamps.. fun to look at, but not very bright.. laxatives.. they irritate the sh*t out of you.. bananas.. the older they get, the less firm they are.. vacations.. they never seem to be long enough.. bank machines.. once they withdraw, they lose intrest.. weather.. nothing can be done to change them.. cement.. after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.. commercials.. you cant believe a word they say.. government bonds.. they take so long to mature.. horoscopes.. they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.. mascara.. they usually run at the first sign of emotion.. popcorn.. they satisfy you, but only for a little while.. snowstorms.. you never know when they are comming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.. blenders.
you need one, but you're not quite sure why.. parking spots.. the good ones are all taken and the rest are all handicapped.
I don't see a balance of humor here. Teejay's post teases about the difference in natures and ways of thinking. Yours is about personal inadequacy.
The best ones are rich
Never mind, I'm starting to get the picture.
for once i will try to post a serious topic so here goes.... most of us here have rejected most if not all of the jw teachings.
i (as well as most of you) certainly do not believe that armaggedon will arrive someday in the future and everybody who is not a jw will die and the witnesses that are left will rebuild the earth.. so, the question i have is this: what do you think happens when you die?.
do you go to heaven or hell?
Is Death the End?
Yep.
Of course ghosts exist. Didn't you ever watch Casper?
tonight i was leaving my flat with my brother, when a drunk guy from across the road came over shouting that his freinds apartment was on fire.. my brother and my kicked in the door, and went in to the flaming building three times.
we eventually found him slumped over in a sofa.. i thought we were goners because we got lost on the way out, the smoke had by this time filled the room.. my brother and me dragged him out the door when his collection of half finished whisky bottles and gas lighterc refills exploded.. the only casualty was us with smoke inhalation, and my brothers car keys which fell out of his pocket in the rush.. look in the lisburn star on fridays for my smokey face.
a good day .. josephus
Kewl! You sure justified your existence, huh!