Posts by dougpotts

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

Thanks for latest replies.

I wonder if carla can tell me where I can get "an update" thread you talked about.

I also did quite realise until now the massive attraction of eternal life in paradise was to the JW. Its not really something thought about much in my church or by myself. It now starts to make sence the JW willingness to throw away there present life in context of blood transfusions if they are of a mind that eternal life is present in the next and just round the corner. It never really thought about it in that context.Its still a massive bet they are taking.

Being a down to earth scot I think I would rather choose to fully enjoy this one as long as I can than bet on some individual trying to tell me there is a better one just round the corner and the present one can be thrown away. Wonder if that guy can be taken to world court of justice if the dream does not turn into reality and the poor individual has blown his present life with nothing to follow.

To oldsoul - your right when you talk about me mixing up faith and religeon. I take your rebuke with respect and agree with your thinking. Although I am not a very religeous person, I do have a faith as a christian and respect of the 12 comandments which I adhere to. Religeon is a narrow definition whereby human groups conform to their own ideas of the laws of god. Faith is all encompasing.Hope I get the point.

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

Thanks to both oldsoul amd m.j. for their extensive replies. It has been very informative and has made me increasingly aware of the faith and all its ramifications.It greatly help me deal with a friendship with a JW.

I wonder if I can further ask their help with a few more questions.

Elders- what counter balance is there to control the abuse of power by the elder or elders. Say he is unmarried but attracted to a JW wife of non JW. As there is no control by congregation, what defence against does the wife have against that interest- or does she have to just accept that interest.

Why does wife have to have separate meetings within church without husband. Is this not simply a device to separate the power and interest of the husband and to give the faith that power over her.The husband must wonder what the wife is saying to her faith in private and lead to lack of confidence in marriage.

Confidence in the marriage must be shattered if the wife does report the husband. Can she be trusted by the husband again.

Sometimes it must be very difficult for the elder to separate a domestic matter which they should not be part of and spiritual matters - there must be many grey areas. How does the elder ensure he is simply not poking into a private domestic situations

Blood Transfussions- they sometimes talk about subdevides being acceptable- not whole blood.Is there a substitute available for them which makes the subject a non entity or is it really a case of life or death if you need a blood transfusion. How can a person kill his wife or children in the name of a simple paragraph in the bible which only talks about eating blood when you place it in context of the other reading in the parapgraph or does it usually not come to that.Is the spouse that unimportant to them when placed against the impotance of their faith.

Maybe I should not be saying this but it does occur to me that the member of that church is entirlely acting with extreme selfish selfmotives - although a massive amount of church work is done, very little is heard of helping their fellowman eg voluntary work.Its all theretical biblical study. Their interest seems to be their own salvation and interest and ensuring the church expands nothing more. Similary with the problem with blood transfusions their interest lies in ensuring they conform to their faith and by implication their own salvation, as seen by their faith, of themselves rather than helping their family member survive. Maybe my thinking is distorted in some way.

Doug

What balance does the non JW husband have against a mischievious wife simply using the elders to get what she wants in the marriage. What confidence can the husband have in the marriage if he knows he can be reported on any matter by a wife.

Doug

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

In Ch of Scotland, people in authority are elected by congregation only. Who elect JW elders.

How would elders know that holidays,xmas,birthdays ect are being recognised by family. Is it not something they have little control of.

Is the original bible recognised or simply the JW translated bible- and how near to original is it. Is translated simply a convertion created to enforce JW views.Does the watchtower mag take precedence over bible.

How do JW look at Wordly people. Do they look down on them.Do they think they are superior in some way.Is it a slur.

What effect does being made inactive have.

OldSoul said that the elders would fullfill spiritual guidence role. Surely the husband can say its none of their dam business. Thats a family matter.

Old Soul- you talk about emotional clubbing- what exactly do you mean.

Congregation powers - in my church the congregation is supreme and can decide everything. Surely the congregation in JW faith has some powers over the running of the church.

Oldsoul says that only thru the organisation can god be spoken to by JW - Where in the bible do they get this assumption from. After all they were only invented about 1900.

Doug

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

May I thank oldsoul for the fully detailed reply to my requests.

It has greatly expanded my knowledge of this faith and has answered many of my questions about it.

Thank you indeed.Thanks for the time involved.Maybe I could come back to you on some points when I have digested your answers.

To jgnat- Afraid I cant say where I an in scotland because it might give lead to identification of the girl concerned which I would not like. I too am from lowland scotland. Not many potts people in area - its an english name from round about stoke and the black country in england. I see you are maybe JW.

Greatly appreciate maybe some of your views on my situation if you could find the time and email me direct.

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

May I thank oldsoul for the time and effort

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

I am church of scotland but dont know how kindom hall operates- what is the structure in a hall. What powers do the congregation have over the elders. How does it work.

What authority does elder have. Who gives them that power over the members.

How many meetings and attendance are they required to do. How many hours door to door.

If husband is not JW but wife is how do to principals of faith operate. Husband being wordly and to be kept at distance against the principal that wife must be submissive to husband.

How much does wife have to report to elders about domestic situation.

Does elders have any powers over non JW husband

What is the definition of fornication - is it simply sexual intercourse outside marriage or does it include many other things. I ask because 1 email suggested it could include simply petting the person.

Can JW wife go into another church for say weddings/funerals of family members.

What could the problems be with grandchildren born to non jw parents but grandmother is.

Worldly - what is the definition of this word to a JW.

Is disfellowship and disassociation the same in that family cannot speak to the person.

Does this family non speak and dead apply to people who simply leave.

Am i right in thinking that if JW girl gets married say in a local registry office and not in church to non JW, family would still be able to speak to her.

What advantage over other religeons do JW think they have. They must think that it gives them something more than say protestant or catholic.

Cant get head round the mentality of members who would be prepared to shut off their family in the name of their church. They must live a very lonely and isolated life.

To jgnat- canada. Only relative in canada was in owen sound north of Toronto i think.If you think otherwise you can get me on [email protected]

Sorry for all the questions but it all adds to my knowledge.

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

Thanks for all your emails- I am just realising the immensity of it all.

I would appreciate if there are any other revalent things I shoud know about in relation to taking a girl out and problems of marriage.

She has only been in 6 years having transferred from another religeon which she has attended for some 30 years. Her husband was not a member of a church and both her sons have come out. She has no parents who could influence her only sisters within it. So she might realise that with advancing years and grandkids her position might become increasingly untenable.All her friends of past years are not JW.

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

Thanks for telling me all these points. Am afraid I am a simple protestant who had no imagination that all this nonsense goes on in a organisation that calls itself a christian church. I was a good friend of the husband of the girl who recently died- non jw. Took girl out who i have known for some 30 years simply at first to support her. Unfortuneately with nature as it is, I am afraid I have rather fallen for her.

Could not understand her actions at first but now am just realising what immense preasure she is under with her faith and the extra ordinary prehistoric ways of the cult and now understand her somewhat pecular meeting habits which at first had me perplexed.

In reply to one email, no she has not given out much in the way of info about her faith. She seems not willing to discuss it with me.

With her sons out and getting married with future children outside,there could be a danger that she will isolate herself from her family especially as her kids inlaws will ensure that the future kids will not fall into JW. Dont think she herself is very strong herself. Maybe there is a chance. But I do now realise that I have to give her a credible alternative if I have any hope at all to disentagle her from this can of worms.

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

Thanks for the reply. I dont know what they could do if she simply resigned from the faith and joined another church - my church. They could not touch her nor indeed could they do anything that would affect me. Her grown up children are outside and out of their clutches.All she would have to worry about is her sisters who are inside. All she has to do is quietly slip away from the organisation. Cant see her sisters refusing to talk to her - who would no whether they are in contact or not.

33

New JW relationship

by dougpotts in

can someone explain fully the restrictions that a jw must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant.

can she still date.

is marriage permitted even though objected too by jw.

dougpotts

Can someone explain fully the restrictions that a JW must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant. Can she still date. Is marriage permitted even though objected too by JW. CAn she go to dances. Can she drink alchohol. How physical can she get.Who would report her to her elders. what actions would the elders take.