Posts by Zana

152

If YOU had to make the decision, would you respect a JW relatives wish to refuse a blood transfusion?

by nicolaou in

a few years after i quit the meetings my mum needed her medical directive signed and witnessed and she asked if i'd do it.

i was surprised to say the least!.

i think she was just angling to include me and maybe find some lever to get me involved again.

Zana

slimboyfat wrote:

But actually in response to your original question there are some people in this world I would choose to make live even if it was against their wishes. Not because I think my worldview is objectively correct and they are crazy. Or because I think my views are more important than theirs. But just because I am selfish and I don't want them to die. I'd have to explain it afterwards, but it wouldn't be in terms of: "because your beliefs are load of crap you numbskull". More like: "I would miss you too much, sorry." I guess that lines me up for criticism from both sides in this debate.

This.

5 years ago I had this discussion with my wife just before our son's birth. Then I said I would respect her decision und when the doctor came to inform us they had to perform an emergency C-section, she reminded me again. At this point I still felt it more important to respect her wishes. But honestly I am not sure how I would have reacted if the operation hadn't gone as planned.

Today I would give her the blood transfusion. Because I love her and don't want to lose her. And because I think it's selfish of her to possibly let her children and her husband lose their mom and wife because of a badly interpreted bible verse. Also: I wouldn't be able to tell our children that mom died but I could have prevented it.

32

Our Letter to Our Family

by What Now? in

our families have cut off contact with us for the last several months.

they found out that we were celebrating holidays with our non-witness family.

our families were our last tie to the organization, as our former friends stopped associating with us about 3 years ago.

Zana

I especially like this part: Very moving, very convincing:

Mom, you say that because I am a mother, I can understand what a difficult decision this is for you. But it is precisely because I am a mother that I cannot agree with or respect your choice. Because I am a mother, I finally know what unconditional love is, and I know that there is nothing in this universe that could ever change the relationship I have with my children. For a religion to destroy the bond that should naturally exist between a parent and their child is one of the most evil things I can imagine.

21

Is going into a church really THAT bad?

by Zana in

family background: my wife ("liberal" jw), me (ubm), two children aged 5 and 2.

(want more details?

-> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/279456/raising-kids-jw-mother-agnostic-father).

Zana

thankyou wrote

Zana,

I apologize. I'm not trying to hijack your thread. Just want to praise OneEyedJoe's profound analysis of JW "brainwashing".

No need to apologize. I also did especially like OneEyedJoe's (and slimboyfat's) answers. Thanks for your input!

And please keep the fun answers coming, too! :D

21

Is going into a church really THAT bad?

by Zana in

family background: my wife ("liberal" jw), me (ubm), two children aged 5 and 2.

(want more details?

-> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/279456/raising-kids-jw-mother-agnostic-father).

Zana

Family background: My wife ("liberal" JW), me (UBM), two children aged 5 and 2. (want more details? -> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/279456/raising-kids-jw-mother-agnostic-father)

Today I took my son to a christmas concert. Which took place in a (mainstream) church building. One thing about churches in our area is, that they are great concert locations, not only around christmas. So I told my wife about the plan. And then: "Hello, my wife's cult persona! Have we met?"

I didn't even try to ask her, to come with us, because I knew she would decline. But obviously she hated the idea of me taking our son there. So why does going into a chuch seem to be the worst sin ever? I mean we kind of celebrate small scale birthdays, she accompanies us to celebrate christmas with parents, she would even talk to DFed people. Is it her or why is a church so baaaaad for a JW?

50

Are single sisters happier?

by Esmeralda001 in

this question is for the ladies out there, but if you are a man and you'd like to share your thoughts on the following topic you are welcomed to do so.

given the wt society's view on women, did any of you ladies gave up on the idea of getting married "in the truth".

in such case, did you sometimes feel that you were missing out?

Zana

Nowhere. But do you think a civil marriage can be called a marriage "according to God's law"?

50

Are single sisters happier?

by Esmeralda001 in

this question is for the ladies out there, but if you are a man and you'd like to share your thoughts on the following topic you are welcomed to do so.

given the wt society's view on women, did any of you ladies gave up on the idea of getting married "in the truth".

in such case, did you sometimes feel that you were missing out?

Zana

@Esmeralda:

You think about taking care of your parents and how a marriage might influence that, but apparently you don't think about who is going to take care of you when you get older!?

@Divergent:

Thank you for this "in the Lord" interpretation. Very helpful! One problem remains though; How can you get married (JW to a non-JW) according to God's law, if obviously you cannot marry in a church or kingdom hall?

5

My 4 year old son starts asking about death

by Zana in

my wife is a moderate jw, me i am agnostic.

she can "offer" eternal life on earth, which is difficult to top.

first i told him, that there is actually no proof for what his mother tells him.

Zana

Giordano, I know I know, very interesting and important topic. But very off-topic here.

Also I don't plan on forbidding my wife to tell him anything about their religion. I do however object to some topics like talk about armageddon and how non-jws will all be killed then.

Simon, I don't want to, but he himself started the conversation repeatedly. I rather talk about it then instead of changing the topic or just divert his attention to something else. Of course I don't plan on giving him an hour-long lecture either.

I would just like to get some ideas how other atheist or agnostic parents talk to their kids about death.

5

My 4 year old son starts asking about death

by Zana in

my wife is a moderate jw, me i am agnostic.

she can "offer" eternal life on earth, which is difficult to top.

first i told him, that there is actually no proof for what his mother tells him.

Zana

My wife is a moderate JW, me I am agnostic. She can "offer" eternal life on earth, which is difficult to top. First I told him, that there is actually no proof for what his mother tells him. And that many different people (me, his grandma, his muslim friends) believe many different things about what happens after we die. But nobody can prove it. I think he gets that. But if it is a question of belief, he might think of choosing to believe the most attractive option. My son wishes he will never die. I can tell him things like there won't be enough space on the planet, if people keep having babies. Or that although we die, we keep on living in the memories of the people whe cared about us. But that's just dry bread compared to all the sugar and cream his mother can offer him.

Any suggestions what else I could tell him?

77

In The Name of Love, Need Your Opinion

by thankyou in

i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.

most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.

i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.

Zana

My 2 cents:

Figure out how deep she is in. When und why did she join this religion? Does she have worldly friends? What about her family?

If you're lucky she might be a "liberal" JW. My wife is one. Her best friend is a muslim. She was willing to marry me, an unbelieving mate, although she knows that people look down on her for that. She puts the needs of her family above the demands of her congregation, for example not going to meetings when one of our children is sick. She knows that she is considered a spiritually weak person but it doesn't bother her much.

77

In The Name of Love, Need Your Opinion

by thankyou in

i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.

most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.

i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.

Zana

deleted double post