Welcome Confused!
You've found a really good board. It's filled with all sorts! I was raised in the bOrg too, and can understand where you are coming from with these feelings of doubt and anger and aloness and maybe a little guilt. You'll find a lot of sympathetic ears and when you're ready a lot of them can help you with spirtuality on a chatty basis...or if you choose to go the other route via atheism or agnoticisim...well we've got our fair share of those too. What I'm trying to say is there is a lot of variety here. You'll find that shoulder to cry on in cyberspace, and you'll find lots of people here to share your victories too.
So welcome aboard the handbasket!
Forsharry, of the "Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?" Class