is this a common issue for exjws?
or do you find it easy to just get on with it?
having lost all the jw friends, you find that you can't bring yourself to let others get too close, even pushing them away (old habbit dying hard).
Enosant you struck a nerve when you said
These also explain why I go to pieces when close relationships with girlfriends I've made since leaving end. All the feelings of misplaced trust, betrayal and heart tearing flood back, each time with even greator force because I feel like a complete failure yet again!Same for me with girlfriends. There really isn't more for me to say about it. You said it perfectly.
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many thousand years ago, jesus expelled demons in people.
do you think it's possible today that people, maybe you or i, may have one or more demons in us, controling us to a certain extent?
I think demons are the secret ingredient in Dr Pepper that give it it's funky taste.
I think i'll go dig out my smurf dolls out of the closet.
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many thousand years ago, jesus expelled demons in people.
do you think it's possible today that people, maybe you or i, may have one or more demons in us, controling us to a certain extent?
You asked, I deliver!
Demon story #1
I once went to a hatian voodoo party/ceremony just for the hell of it to see the "demons" i've been warned about all my life. I saw so called possessons. It was interesting. But not exactly a religion I want to get into if ya know what I mean. The city I live in has a large hatian population and I was invited through someone I knew. I have to say the drumming was awsome! But "possession" (trance or whatever you want to describe it as) was nothing to write home about. I felt like it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. Had to go see.
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which do you like better pepsi or coke?.
evanescence *wish there were voting polls on this forum
I knew it! I knew it! I was waiting for you to how up Horrible Life
I was hoping you'd pop up in a thread I was on. So you didn't say if you like icecream with your soda.
And what about rum? haha!
We have to drag you out here to nyc sometime so you can come to hang out with the nyc ex-jw crowd.
We'll have Diet coke with icecream and rum!
Check you around hot stuff.
Dez
we push people away and keep them at a distance out of fear.
fear of getting close again.
many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away.
Glad to see those additions. I had this chat on another forum and most of what kept coming up is what i've mentioned. Your adding in some other reasons for the same problems. Let's see what else others contribute. This is an interesting twist so far on the usual theme.
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which do you like better pepsi or coke?.
evanescence *wish there were voting polls on this forum
Uh oh Soledad, were gonna be in trouble if we go to that meetup or Steve's party, lol !
Pepsi and Coke will never be the same ;-)
Throw in some of Evanescence icecream idea and it's over! Haha.
Look whatcha started at only 15 years old, haha. I'm seriously laughing right now.
As far as your question Evanescence, yeah, icecream and pepsi are great!
Wow your bringing back memories. I haven't had that in years. Added to my todo list.
Do you like too?
is this a common issue for exjws?
or do you find it easy to just get on with it?
having lost all the jw friends, you find that you can't bring yourself to let others get too close, even pushing them away (old habbit dying hard).
Looks like we had the same idea about the same time, lol!
I made a post about friendship and pushing people away. Our other thread was going off topic. I've noticed alot of ex-jw's have had this situation with lack of friends and the like.
Hopefully we'll get some others talking about it since it seems to be one of the major p;roblems we get stuck with when we leave.
Dez
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which do you like better pepsi or coke?.
evanescence *wish there were voting polls on this forum
I like Pepsi better. How about you?
Throw in some fresh lemon and it's even better...
Come to think of it, throw in some rum and it's even better than that!
Just joking, lol.
Dez
we push people away and keep them at a distance out of fear.
fear of getting close again.
many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away.
I think most ex-jw's i've known have problems making new friends.
Or we make acquiantances but not real and deep friendships. We push people away and keep them at a distance out of fear. Fear of getting close again. Fear of being abandoned.
Many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away. Watch for this reaction in yourself when making new friends. If not kept in check it will destroy new relationships. The 1st is a tendency to find something wrong with someone, focus on what's wrong, then "df" them. The judgement reasoning we were taught kicks in here and looks to find flaws with the people you meet. The trouble is that if your mind looks for flaws in peoploe it will find them since everyone has them. Find them and you focus on them. Focus on them and you will judge the person by them. Judge the person by them and you'll "df" them. "Df'ing" potential mew friends is a big problem for many of us ex-witnesses.
The next is a habbit of keeping people at a safe distance. We tend to make friendships then keep them from getting too close. Watch for that one. If you have this pattern you'll swear there's something wrong with nearly everyone and find excuses to push them away. There are more. But if you watch for these and control them you'll find your ahead of the game earlier on than most of us. We tend to have an arsenal of methods to stop friendships from forming but little awareness that were doing it.
Does anyone feel like talking about trouble with making friends, pushing people away, making only acquiantances but not real friends, etc? How do you keep people from gettin gclose in your life? Have you found any ways around this?
Dez
i believe that most jws are deep down inside angry over the fact that they went along with the status quo and the majority just to be accepted.
some witnesses would like to have a tattoo, a mustache, a shaved head, a beard, a new red sportscar, etc.
but they don't because they would be viewed as "immature".
whoops! I mean "decision"...LOL!
I seem to have left my spelling hat off when thinking back to that unhappy time.
Funny how even typing about it reduces brain power, LMAO!
