Posts by Ohiamfree

2

Phonecalls

by asensier in

dealing with phonecalls from home is becoming increasingly more difficult.

for any of you following my blog, please take a moment to look at my most recent post.

as always, your support is invaluable, thank you.

Oh something else! My counsellor helped me to realise that you can't make other people feel a certain way - if you mum thinks this and she thinks that etc that is HER problem not yours. So saying to her things like "I'm sorry that you feel that way, that isn't how I see things, I hope you can realise that simply isn't how it is one day" may possibly help. But most of all - don't feel guilty - how she's making herself feel is her problem and carries no evidence. Continue showing love and they might just see in the end that you are happier than ever.

2

Phonecalls

by asensier in

dealing with phonecalls from home is becoming increasingly more difficult.

for any of you following my blog, please take a moment to look at my most recent post.

as always, your support is invaluable, thank you.

Ohiamfree

Asensier - there are so many replied I can provide haha!

One me big one is about you choosing Liam over your family. My future mother in law used this against my bf in a way. She asked him what he was going to do about all his friends. He didn't know how to reply at the time but I thought about a good reply to that. When you get married your mate IS your family, you leave your mother and father and they become your family - THATS LIFE. That's what your mum decided to do and your dad.

Secondly - turn it on its head - ask them do they want you to come back because they want you to and they bullied you into it, or because YOU want to? What would Jehovah want ;) you need to reply with questions. Write replies down and keep them with you in case they call.

These are a good way to try and make them realise that your relationship with them and your relationship with a creator are AND SHOULD BE two different things. As the scriptures say, everyone must carry their own load. Remind them of the prodigal son (did they see the drama a few years back at the convention? The DVD?) ask them if the family hounded their child to return or simply left them to make their own mind up. Even recommend they watch the DVD. They won't know what to freakin do!

Keep strong, and don't forget there is support out there for people who need it - cognitive therapy is incredible for this - it helped me so much to not be in fear and I highly recommend it. There are lots of self-referral organisations out there. My counsellor was great at getting me planning about what I could do in the worst scenario etc.

10

Happiness is achievable

by asensier in

update - for those of you who read my last topic 'disfellowshipped at 18' i am so thankful for all the support and helpful comments i received.

it's amazing to know that despite how alone i may feel, so many of you have suffered the same way that i have.

i know that i can live happily without being one of jehovah's witnesses.

Ohiamfree

You are so brave xxx congratulations on your new life xxx

7

Shunned or actually...not treated much differently?!

by Ohiamfree in

so today on my way to work, i passed a faithful jw sister who i have met about 6 times and spoken to and was friends with a sister she spends a lot of time with, i looked at her and smiled and she looked through me.

i wondered if she knew to shun me.

i'm dating someone when i have no photographic evidence that i am free to remarry ;) let's ignore all forms of abuse and unfaithfulness...anyway!.

Ohiamfree

So today on my way to work, I passed a faithful JW sister who I have met about 6 times and spoken to and was friends with a sister she spends a lot of time with, I looked at her and smiled and she looked through me. I wondered if she knew to shun me. I'm dating someone when I have no photographic evidence that I am free to remarry ;) let's ignore all forms of abuse and unfaithfulness...anyway!

Then the penny dropped, and I smiled to myself. She doesn't know. How do I know this? Because she has ALWAYS looked straight through me if she saw me in the street. In fact, she isn't the only one. Even when I was a young teenager with no naughty record, I still had JW people look through me, be rude to me and pick on small things like the top I'm wearing to the meeting (a modest top may I add! But with a disapproving soft print of a women's face on - I must have been like 14?!)

and then...when I pioneered...the lack of support and how I often pursued my work on my own.

And when I ran away from my ex, and carried on diligently in my new congregation - the majority didn't help me as a young vulnerable sister - living on an inflatable bed in my "worldly" friends flat. Over 4 years there were about 10 people in a congregation of 100 that showed me kindness. That's mental! How many people reached out to see how I was when I disappeared from their cong? Erm about 5 - when I had been there 6 years!!!!

And then I compared all this to how I am treated by the people I work with and in my community, and how they support me, and are kind to me without even knowing much about me. And it made me realise, these people don't understand what love is at all! I am not being "shunned" in a new way at all - there has always been something about me they didn't quite like - my creative streek maybe? The way I love animals maybe? The way I love music, art and culture?

Well JW, I am proud to say - I am me and now proud to be me. The reason most JW can't deal with it, is purely because they have no personality and rely on others to tell them what their personality should be or in what ways they should show love - they all have to be TOLD how to do things. I'm different, thank goodness and clearly - they don't know how to deal with it!

i am so glad to have faded away - and so glad I can see all this. I wonder how many of us here think we are being shunned because of having been marked, when actually, no one was interested to begin with? I would love to hear your comparisons.

26

Sir David Eady to give judgement on the Watctower Appeal in the Otuo v Morley and Watch Tower case at the High Court tommorrow

by Adwoa Kromo in

sir david eady sitting as high court judge will hand down judgement tomorrow at 11:00am in the appeal of the decision from master leslie for refusing to strike out the claim as an abuse of process.

in his judgement in november 2014 he stated in his judgement delivered ex-tempore " i am bound to say that this case causes me a good deal of trouble".

from notes that i have from the hearing last week, i will be utterly surprised if the retired judge sir david eady takes a different view.

Ohiamfree

Any news?

3

shunning

by pepperheart in

if a jw on a trolley knew that other jws were shunning you would they talk to you to tell you to stop taking literature from a trolley ??

?

Ohiamfree

As far as I know many df people just take the literature off the cart - I have never heard of people being refused. It used to be that someone who is df was supposed to get their magazines from an elder or at the KH. Quite amusing now that you can get everything online...but maybe that's because the rule didn't come from God 8-o

33

Slow motion pioneers

by 1Averagejoe in

observing our local unemployed pioneers and how long they take to get to their first or next call, usually taking the longest route to get to one they know won't be there anyway.

along the way it's gossipy this and that.

pioneers?

Ohiamfree

I actually really enjoyed parts of pioneering, it was part of me waking up actually. I was often on my own and preferred to study with people on my own so that they would not be "pushy" with the lovely people I studied with. It was the fact that all these people were so nice that made me realise that something was very harsh and cruel with jw. Those people became my friends, and I never pushed them, we just studied together. I really struggled to get my hours in, I had no car and very little support, I would walk across town to visit people, and I genuinely would try and help them in any way. I had to stand down as became too ill, that was heart breaking because the guilt tripping was ridiculous! How awful to do that to people. I tell you what, the pioneer meetings were generally a waste of time! I was fortunate to be shown kindness when I couldn't manage getting all my hours in, they let me carry on, and I am really thankful for that still actually. I now work in the community within social isolation - I got so much experience through pioneering and talking to people - that's what all pioneers should be doing.

17

A Total Waste of Time "In The Field"

by OnTheWayOut in

so i am walking down the street in a spanish neighborhood and two men, obviously jw's, are standing between houses writing furiously on their tiny slips.

i am nearly a block away approaching and they just kept writing the whole time i walked up.

i finally arrive to pass them and they are still both writing.

Ohiamfree

I always took notes if I met someone interesting because my memory was awful...and also I am shyer approaching people on the street than I am on doors - same in all walks of my life. I can't explain why really, I just find approaching people on the street hard some days. Am I the only one? I sometimes manage to do it for work but find it hard.

10

Unscripturally Free To Be Married - the Contradications

by Ohiamfree in

so far i have worked out 2 challenges to this ridiculous, stupid cruel imposed rule that results in disfellowshipping.

(1) if someone is still scriptually married after a divorce, and moved back in with their ex, they would be disfellowshipped.

so then on what grounds did you ever mean someone was still married?

Ohiamfree

I am afraid I disagree, an oath ends when someone breaks the oath, there can be no limbo - either you are married or you are not. If one of the marriage mates breaks the marriage then the marriage can only exist if the other person decides it can though the oath is broken. The concept of someone being disfellowshipped for divorcing a pedophile or an abusive mate and remarrying is the most ridiculous thing ever, in fact it is disgusting!

10

Unscripturally Free To Be Married - the Contradications

by Ohiamfree in

so far i have worked out 2 challenges to this ridiculous, stupid cruel imposed rule that results in disfellowshipping.

(1) if someone is still scriptually married after a divorce, and moved back in with their ex, they would be disfellowshipped.

so then on what grounds did you ever mean someone was still married?

Ohiamfree

So far I have worked out 2 challenges to this ridiculous, stupid cruel imposed rule that results in disfellowshipping. They are as follows -

(1) If someone is still scriptually married after a divorce, and moved back in with their ex, they would be disfellowshipped. HELLO? So then on what grounds did you ever mean someone was still married?

(2) If someone in the world had got a divorce, based on unreasonableness for instance, would they be questioned on whether their ex had committed adultery before they get baptised and maybe happily get remarried? I have the feeling that it wouldn't even be discussed and would not stop someone being baptised and getting re-married because the getting baptised bit would be more important ;)

It really is a load of nonsense isn't it? Has anyone else thought of any contradictions with this bizarre limbo rule?